to wonder if anyone shares this weird feeling?

[cjt110]

I feel disconnected from my son. I know i think that I love him and I would do anything for him. Bu at other times, I feel I dont love him at all. Not in a nasty way but I feel like I am not that connected to him. Sometimes, on an evening say when he is in bed, I forget I'm a parent and then just before going up to bed think I need to check on DS.

Is this an unusual feeling? Its hard to describe.

[cjt110]

LaContessaDiPlump if only thre would be subsequent ones - We have our DS and don't want anymore children. Looking back, I suffered terribly with pre-natal anxiety and depression which resulted in many trips to the MAU because of worries/concerns and I don't think my MH could stand it, even if we did want another child.

WhatsGoingOnEh It was a little hit and miss. I was never aiming to BF or FF, just to feed. Infact, I was dead set again BF until my MW who had looked after me so well said to me to do whichever I wanted. I pretty much combi fed from day 1, giving up bf at 4 weeks because I ended up pretty much imprisoned to my sofa because he was a hungry boy.

AppleAndBlackberry Could be. I do shoulder a lot at home, (my own choice as I like things done just so). Dh would happily help if I asked/let him but I can't do it. Then I end up castigating myself for spending time doing tasks instead of playing with our son.

[bexleyboop]

I know precisely what you mean. I've always felt this way about people I love though, I'm not sure what it says about me. I'm a loner, I love my own space - being a SAHM has been a huge struggle for me as I always have to keep an eye on DS who's just 2. I love him to the ends of the earth, but when he's having a nap or gone to bed, it's like I can finally breathe deeply. My brain tends to "turn off" mum mode when he's asleep/ with someone else. I spent a week in hospital last year when he was about 18 months old, and found that while I was there I didnt miss him, which felt wrong, but as soon as I saw him I was in tears with how much I HAD missed him.

I go in to see him before bed and I can sometimes get a bit weepy because I love him so much. I might be a bit detached from a lot of things - I don't have many friends as I can't handle the constant need to be in touch etc. but I don't think I ever thought it might be unhealthy.

Maybe I need to talk to someone?! I've never really thought of it as being unusual?!

[bexleyboop]

Oh, and I had an awful birth with DS, no connection at all early on. I resented him for not being able to latch to breastfeed, and I genuinely think it took me months to "fall in love" with him. I hate thinking about that now, he's my world.

[dowhatnow]

Is it just you contantly want some peace and quiet or break from the daily grind --and it is often a grind and very boring with young dc doing the same old routine yet again, which is perfectly normal or do you think it is more than that?

[cjt110]

bexleyboop I could have written your first post. Really could have.

dowhatnow No idea. When I'm not with him, he consumes my thoughts and I brim with pride when I talk about him but when |I'm with him, I crave the time without him