To be pissed off at DH's phone obsession?

[peg90]

This is likely to turn into a rant so beware.

DH spends a massive amount of time during the day on his phone. It's driving me mad!! We have a 6 month old DD who is going to grow up thinking it's normal to sit and ignore people because her Dad does it.

A few examples of why it bugs me so much:

He gets up, ignores the wide awake baby, takes the phone and goes for a 20 minute shit every morning. I always get up with the baby which I love doing and seeing her smiling face and excitement and I just think he's missing this.

He works away every 4 weeks and when he's away he says how much he's missing DD, which I would expect he is. He doesn't play with her or really speak to her because he's on the phone. Yesterday I stood and watched him "playing" (he thought I was cooking dinner) which consisted of reading his phone and bouncing the bouncer. I may have been a bit angry and said "is it any wonder she doesn't want to play with you when you're on that thing all the time!"

Breathe.

Last one that I'll mention, when we go to my Mum's or my family are over at ours, he's on the phone AGAIN! It's so rude and I can imagine what he would say if I did it when at his Mum's.

It's not even as if he's doing anything exciting, he's reading (wait for it) the Daily Mail .

I just don't want him to be missing out on DD growing up.

And just for the record, other than to take pictures of DD, I don't go on my phone unless she's asleep or not with me.

Sorry for the length!

I am guilty of this, though I'm not in the same league as the OP's DH. But I check it very often and i know I'm not always fully present for my kids as I'm online instead. I need to make a concious effort to leave my phone out of reach. I think I do it in part because I'm a SAHM who is pretty isolated (for various reasons I don't want to go into here) and as my kids are 1 and 4 sometimes the internet is my only contact with other adults all day. And neither DC sleep well so I'm very tired and being truly present with the kids is exhausting, it's too easy to give into the temptation of the phone.

With that I am putting the phone down and not picking it up again til DH gets home.
fingers crossed

I've been threatening to get a print out of my partners face to stick to the back of her iPad just so i can remember what she looks like. It's boring trying to have a conversation with someone that isn't listening

I really hope it's the wake up call he needs.
I'd be livid if my OH did this.
He wouldn't though because I'd be on his case all the bloody time!
Good idea to just get some distance especially as he is swearing and shouting at you.
I hope your mum can offer you a hug and some support.

Sadly it sounds like if you do separate over this, he will be one of those parents who takes his DD to McDonalds at the weekend and spends all his time on his phone while DD desperately tries to attract his attention to show him her happy meal toy.

It's the big relationship problem of our age. People being physically present but mentally elsewhere. My DP and DS were similar. I couldn't get them to stop, so I joined them and now I'm addicted to mumsnet on my phone.
Many of us need to make an effort to limit our time on our 'devices.'

Sorry it escalated so quickly OP, and I hope he wakes up

I hate that my OH does this. It used to be his computer; when he got his first Internet enabled phone my exact phrase to him was 'oh good, now you'll be able to ignore me whilst you're in the same room sitting next to me'. I watch him 'watch' the football, just going on his phone. I've challenged him about it and he either minimises or denies it. Even when I've been watching him.

I CBA anymore and took to MN to escape.

My DH used to be worse than he is now, you'd actually be mid conversation and he would pull his phone out and start playing on it.

So I just stopped talking and "looked" at him until he looked up at me. Then I would generally ask him what was so interesting as we were having a conversation. He'd look a bit sheepish and apologise. It was fucking rude!

He doesn't do it now. He is prone to getting his phone out in groups, but I tell him he's being rude and he'll put it away.

God, I really hope I've brought my sons up to be real people and not spaced out looking at their phones all the time while the house burns down.

You've got balls, OP. Time to kick your H in his.

You've left your husband over his phone use? That seems a bit extreme.

It's bloody annoying. DP does this quite a lot but he does stop when I comment on it. My Dad used to do it at my Gran's house (his MIL) until my Mum told him how much it upset her and how rude it was. I think leaving i overkill though.

I agree that leaving is overkill. Look around you... We are all at it!!