AIBU to expect the dentist to actually check my son's teeth

[Wheelsonthebus123]

I've first took my DS to the dentist when he was 8 months old, second visit and 14 months and a third visit planned for next week (20 months old).

On the first two visits, despite me specifically asking if he would check my son's teeth the dentist made a very half hearted attempt my saying "open wide" giving him a second or so to voluntarily open his mouth before saying "I don't want to push it if he's not keen to open his mouth - keep bring him though so he gets used to the dentist" and so I keep getting the appointment fee for zero actual work I don't buy the "bring him so he gets used to going thing". At 20 months I doubt he really remembers going to the dentist 6 months ago and even less so 12 moths ago when he was 8 months!

My understanding is that baby teeth really do matter to long term dental hygiene and that a frighteningly high proportion of children suffer from tooth decay. I've worked out how to distract to get his bottom teeth brushed to hopefully an adequate standard. My son will absolutely not tolerate me scrubbing his upper teeth, so they don't get brushed any near as as thoroughly as they should really. He still has a bottle pre-bed which I've tried and failed to cut-out although I make sure I get a tooth brush in after the bottle before sleep. He also has fruit with meals 3 times a day. All of this make me want an expert to check whether his teeth are OK or whether we need to get firmer with upper teeth brushing and/or the bed time bottle thing. Apart from the bottle and fruit he doesn't have any chocolate/sweets/fruit juice etc.

AIBU to expect him to try a bit harder this time to actually properly check my son's teeth even if it involves me holding his mouth open whilst the dentist checks. What is your typically experience of a dentist visit when they are under 2 and is it in your opinion "good" enough".

Oh - and our 5 month old has just got her two bottom teeth! So I empathise with he difficulties of getting a small, non-compliant person to open their mouth!

You don't need an expert to tell you that 1) Brush your son's teeth. All of them, all around, with adult toothpaste. It doesn't matter how hard he fights. Get it done like you were getting life-saving medicine in him. That fighting won't matter when his blackened stubs have to come out. And 2) No pre-bed bottle. Brush teeth and then nothing should touch those clean teeth.

This I'm afraid, though I appreciate your difficulties but you really are going to have to get this cracked. Also just because the dentist isn't checking doesn't mean you can't tell him what you've told us about the brushing/fruit/milk and see what he advises. I see so many children starting school with horrendous teeth, even those whose parents I know will be making them brush, milk and juice sitting on teeth can do so much damage. When you say you're getting a brush in after the bottle I assume you mean a quick once over with no toothpaste which I'm afraid won't be doing much good.

Unfortunately by the time the dentist sees a problem that point will be too late anyway so take action now. At least you are picking it up early and know how important tooth hygiene is, you just need to start making the changes.

Is there any chance you could find a paediatric dentist? I'm taking DD soon to her first check up and it sounds like a really good set up - toys, patience and a tv for distraction. Now I'm not in the UK and it is going to cost a bomb but DD is very shy so I think it's worth it for thr specialist set up.

I took my ds at 21 months first time was 6 months prior to that and very much just sit in chair and dentist count teeth. He now has all his teeth and whilst was unhappy when first sat down was happy looking in mirror and dentist could see no decay. She told me what to look for as I will see his teeth every day twice.

Ds can be a pain when brushing but it is non negotiable at home. I have never had a fear of dentist and wouldn't upset him at the dentist. We also brought his favourite dinosaur like in the peppa pig dentist episode I wouldn't worry this young and think dentist was right not to push

Teeth is none negotiable. If they won't let you then you force them. They resign themselves eventually.

Pansying about for fear of upsetting them contributes to this epidemic of rotting baby teeth having to be pulled out.

YABU - our dentist doesn't even see them under 2 years of age! Thus, DS3 only just had his first 'check up' which was a brief glance at his teeth as he wouldn't open up properly. As PPs have said, it's more about familiarising them with the chair and procedure. As long as you don't feed your baby crap and brush their teeth daily, why would they have cavities at 8 or 14 months??

I eventually paid privately for DD aged 7, each time we went to the local dentist, I discussed her teeth with the dentist but she wouldn't even come in the door. Then I had to see a dentist on holiday and she was female and DD said she would see this woman. It wasn't possible before we went home. So in the end I paid privately and a female hygienist used a camera and the male dentist looked at her teeth on the screen, all was well. DD had a phobia of doctors, hospitals and dentists. She needed to go to a and e in an ambulance and this has heightened her anxiety. I certainly don't advocate forcing her.
What tosh gamerchick. Maybe not giving sugar in such vast quantities would actually stop the epidemic far more effectively. And brushing teeth. Forcing children to do something traumatises them and is adult on child bullying.

Nevermind about the dentist his teeth are your responsibility - pin him down if necessary but get them properly brushed every time.

They get used to it.

Nanna we tend to be a bit gentler these days.

Yeah hence the epidemic of bairns having to have all their teeth removed because they've rotted out of their heads.

Neglect because they want their kids to like them and never be upset.

I'm with gamer chick

If your DC can't even open his mouth for the dentist to look, what exactly do you expect the dentist to be able to do if there is sign of decay?! He clearly won't be able to do any fillings or anything will he? The whole point at this age is to make sure that when by the point they might need treatment, they won't be freaked out by it.

If you simply want some oral health advice or feedback on your regime he will be able to supply this without a full examination.

I've pinned my 3 kids down to brush their teeth before now, it is absolutely non negotiable in my house, 2 minutes of brushing twice a day with an adult toothpaste from when they got their first teeth.
We have an app that sings a song an they have to brush till it finishes, then they use a mouthwash.
We also use disclosing tablets once a month or every six weeks which they love doing as they end up with a blue tongue!

My understanding is that baby teeth really do matter to long term dental hygiene and that a frighteningly high proportion of children suffer from tooth decay.

The main reason baby teeth matter so much to long-term dental hygiene is because good oral health habits are established in childhood. Regardless of how your toddler's teeth look currently, brushing properly at least twice a day is the best way to avoid decay. Whether his teeth are OK currently or not, this advice still stands. Are you going to keep brushing his teeth badly and wait until there is evidence of caries to brush them properly?

The dentist didn't need to look in his mouth. You just needed to tell him what you've said here. If you genuinely think your dentist's only interest in your DC is his fee, then find a different dentist, because if that's the case, he is a GDC hearing waiting to happen.

Janecc erm "these days"?

I'm not sure why you are presuming I'm old? Or out of date?

I have primary school age children for what it's worth.

And where in my post did I say hurt your children? I said "pin".

It's perfectly possible to pin them down for two minutes to brush their teeth without hurting them.

Pretty much everyone I know resorted to pining their children at some point or other. Generally you only have to do it for a week or less and they get the message.

Teeth brushing twice a day is totally non negotiable.

Better to insist a screaming child has their teeth brush than have the poor child suffer the pain of rotting teeth and surgical extractions.

You need to brush your baby's teeth- keep persevering, even if you need to force it they need to get done and it won't take many times before he realises it's just something that needs to be done. He's only putting up a fight because it seems to be optional.

The dentist is doing the right thing to not force it, they are a stranger and trips to the dentist are occasional. Take more responsibility as the parent, it's not the dentist that needs to work harder, I'm afraid it's you.

Dentist here on my wife's log on.

OP- I find (though i don't treat kids anymore which actually is a relief- sorry) it almost impossible to get a 2 year old to open their mouth (parent holding mouth open whatever) for more than 20 seconds which isn't enough to do a 'proper check'. Whilst I can restrain my own kids at home and get theirs brushed, I wont be (and doubt any of my profession) would be doing it to yours. We'd probably end up in front of a GDC panel or in the daily mail 'evil dentist...blah blah'. If you are that concerned then ask to be referred to a specialist though you might have to pay for it.

Agree with Gobbo- Weak enamel. Bullshit. If you are aware your child has a medical problem (and very few do) that makes them more susceptible to decay then brush more.

Don't use adult toothpaste on young children. Too much fluoride. Also fruit is sugar, natural whatever, its still sugar.

Nothing to add here except to reiterate that you are the parent. It's your responsibility and not the dentist's to ensure your child's teeth are looked after.

I don't treat anyone children anymore except at emergency clinics and if you had to attend one of those, you'd absolutely wish you hadn't been such an entitled, responsibility dodging parent in this respect.