About sleep/work timings

[EvansAndThePrince]

I'm currently a SAHM and DH works shifts which vary massively through the week.
We are disagreeing on when he should be up on his days off. We sleep in separate rooms, always have and no, it doesn't affect our sex life.

An average work week for him may look like this:

Monday 1.30pm - midnight
Tuesday and Wednesday - off
Thursday 1.30pm - midnight
....

On the Tuesday I get that he's come in late so usually don't disturb him till 10/10.30am, but on the Wednesday I'd expect him to be up and about when we (DD(1) and I) are, so around 7.30am usually. He says as he is on lates again the next day that he needs to stay in bed till 10.30am again and then stay up until 2am gaming

I TOTALLY get that shift work messes with you as I worked the same shifts before having DD but I feel that when you have a family things change and I also feel bitter (I admit it) that he have NEVER had to be part of the sleep disturbance caused by babies. DD still wakes once or twice through the night most nights but I still have to get up at 7 or 8 with her, and I accept that, I'm a parent, it's my job. But while I housekeep etc, and he works a "proper" job, I feel that parenting should be shared and he should be up with us at LEAST one of his days off.

[EvansAndThePrince]

Sometimes (like this morning) I can't be arsed, it's his loss. Sometimes I do and he just lays there with his eyes shut for ten mins while DD wanders about the room and I sit on the bed waiting.

I've tried knocking on the door, I've tried going in and letting him wake naturally with the noise of us moving in the room, tried gently shaking, tried ringing his phone from the other room etc etc etc. Get told off for every way I wake him.

[HermioneJeanGranger]

He doesn't sound very nice [sad[