to ask for your help with dsd and wetting

[wheresthel1ght]

Posted in children's health but got no replies so apologies if this is taking liberties.

Background;

Dsd is 10 (11 in November) and is not reliably dry. Dp has had her to the dr as has her mum and GP referred to hospital. All tests etc found no physical reasons for it and have drawn the conclusion that because she waits until the last possible moment to go to the loo her brain has forgotten the signals and now doesn't recognise the sensation until it's too late.

From what dp was told (wasn't permitted to attend hospital) the advice was constant reminders to use the loo and lots of fluid to help stretch her bladder and help her get used to the sensation. We have followed this religiously and it was working. We had had no accidents for about 8 months.

Recently I have noticed she is a bit smelly when I have collected her from her mum's - stale urine smell. We have also found she has been hiding wet knickers in dd's washing. Have no issue with her wetting. We are aware that there is an issue. Have explained to her that I am annoyed that she has hidden it and she says it is because her mum yells at her. Knowing what kids are like dp has talked to his ex and turns out mum hasn't even realised she has gone back to wetting. I gave her some tena pads (the extra thin panty liner ones) and dp has spoken to his ex and told her we have done this as we didn't want dsd worrying because she does have quite pungent urine tbh.

I have been looking on the ERIC website for some info and advice and have seen the reminder watch but they are a pretty penny. Has anyone got any experience of them? Are they worth the money? Are there cheaper alternatives?

Tia

I bought my son a smart watch which cost less than £10. It has a feature that you can set to vibrate on the hour. Maybe you could use something like this as a reminder for your dsd?

I had thought of that but it would risk it going off during assembly etc. Was looking for one you could set specific times for like the ERIC one

Her issue especially at school is being distracted by playtime and forgetting to go. The teachers are good and know about her issues but she doesn't ask to go once back in class

I had problems at her age too

The advice I was given was basically to practice pelvic floor muscles, i.e. pee out to the count of five, hold for five and so on until finished, then push as hard as possible to make sure the last few drops come out.

My main trigger was laughter though, have you figured out her trigger yet? It might help to identify and avoid the root cause.

Quite pungent pee suggests she still isn't drinking enough. Is she?

No real advice, but reasurance. I was a wetter until I was at least 10. Small bladder, deep sleeper, not even night-lifts to the loo kept me dry. Then one day it stopped and I haven't wet the bed since.

I was embarrassed to the point of ashamed of it when I was young, looking back it feels like I spent my whole childhood trying to cover it up (wetting a z-bed on Brownie Pack Holiday was a new low).

Of course it's great that she's had medical review. But please do reassure DSD that sooner or later it'll stop, that there's nothing to be ashamed or afraid of and it'll stop sooner or later and she'll have a normal grown up life.

In that case could you try and find a watch that is intended for people who have to take medication at certain times? Not sure if they exist but might be worth having a look.

Itslikerain- she drinks plenty when she is with us but I can't vouch for when she is at her mum's. If the barely touched drinks bottle is anything to go by tonight I doubt she is drinking enough at school.

I do understand her reluctance to drink as it causes more accidents but I would rather her "learn" to control it by having them than dehydrate and end up with more problems!

Thinkpink we have tried hard to reassure her but as we are only allowed eow and one night a week when mum feels like honouring it it is hard to monitor. From what she has said (and I am aware it could be normal kid bs) her mum is not very sympathetic and gets quite cross about it which is where the hiding it stems from. I try not to be involved with their mum because she is vile. She treats me like an on call baby sitter when it suits and then tells the courts she has no idea who I am or if I am a threat to the kids so doesn't want them alone with me. Dp and I have been together for 4 years and right at the start I sat down with her to discuss things and me being around them, showed her my fully enhanced CRB checks etc so not sure why she thinks I am a threat!

Claire - that's the point of these ones on the Eric site but I am loathed to pay that sort of cash unless I know they are worth it!

You can set multiple reminders/ alarms on a smart watch (similar to how you do them on your phone)

We picked up a couple of snazzy apple watch rip-off ones online before Christmas, shipped from HK for around a tenner.

Ohh geez that's good to know I have seen some in that wish website but never know whether to trust them! Will look again at them. Thanks

Let me know how you get on! I've never bought anything from Wish was going to, but had a strop at their crappy ap, threw a hissy fit, and refused to buy what ever it was but we use Banggood, Gearbest etc loads!

DP bought quite a few because cheap tech can NEVER not be bought , DS has a rather snazzy one which was verging on ridiculously expensive at £12, including shipping

I asked if he (DP) still had any but he said we had distributed them all, or I would have posted one off to you.

Aww bless ya! I will have a look at the ones you have recommended.

A work colleague has used wish a few times and never had issues but I agree the app is awful.

I have bought stuff from Mama which is owned by wish and never had an issue.