AIBU to be relieved that another child hit my son back today :/?

[Tonis2297]

Okay I know I'm going to be completely blasted for this but DS is 3 1/2 he has suspected asd along with a few other problems MAJOR behaviour problems he is constantly lifting his hands to other children and his 9 month old sister we obviously do not hit him and always go on about kinds hands etc but he doesn't care he bit me last week and drew blood head butting me etc , today he through a toy at another child and the child retaliated by scratching DS face part of me feels guilty about this but the other parts glad that someone (his own age) has finally stood up to him as he really is a litlle bully I feel like such a shit parent

It is pretty rubbish I've just got to fight we've put a transfer in to a SEN unit they should hopefully have a place in August for him the HV is quite happily backing it she is awesome! Hopefully if the psychologist phones tomorrow ( waiting for a call back) things can speed up abit ! I will post on the SEN board thank you!

I'm astonished by the 88 3 year olds in a class concept! It must be a giant warehouse of kids. I think all children NT or SEN would struggle with this.

I don't have experience with SN but want to offer you it sounds exhausting and you are not a bad mum. I would see if another nursery with a normal class size is available ASAP while you await dx and specialist support

I'll hopefully no more as of next Wednesday after the big meeting hopefully and ds dad is showing (we're not together) and he is not a happy chappy about any of this either so at least there will be someone else Pushing for ds along with HV !

Agree that you need to post on SN Children. There is a lot of expertise to be had there, as well as support.

It is hard. But not as hard as it was for our mums, and our sibs.

www.autism.org.

Give the national autistic society a ring, they were so helpful to me. Lots of good advice on the website for parents & professionals.

No of course not and you're not a shit mum, don't think that. My friend is ASD and he admits that he got away with murder when he was little by blaming things on his autism and even in college he would use it as an excuse. You know your son best, if you think he is having you on and using it to run rings around you then he probably is. Kids are going to hit him back from time to time, it is unavoidable and tbh it is probably a good thing. If nothing else it may help him empathise with how they feel when hit. Try being firmer with him if you think it will work. If it doesn't, revert to whatever does. They don't exactly come with instructions and in the words of my late nan: "I haven't done it wrong. I've made a comprehensive study of all the ways that don't work."

This SEN team sound a right lot. Don't know their arse from their elbow.

I don't really have any advice for you, just support. And

Young children with asd are unlikely to connect their own hitting with other children hitting them.