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AIBU?

To feel so hurt by my friends behavior

28 replies

Kiddiewinks2008 · 02/05/2016 19:28

Actually my best friend of nearly 20 years. She was single a long time- like a decade- and during that time was pretty much part of our family- rang me all the time- talked about everything with me - we were like sisters.
Then a year ago she met someone- was really happy for her- and that was it, have barely seen or heard fron her since. I feel like I hardly know her now and I am so hurt by it. Its honestly like she has vanished from my life.
And I dont know what to do really- like I said, she was like my family and I feel totally dumped.
Aibu to feel hurt and what, if anything, should I do?
I have tried suggesting a girls day but she wont do anything without the new boyfriend- I just feel dumped. I have lots of other friends and a big social network but noone as close as she was.
Do I just move on and put effort into other friendships instead?

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hellsbellsmelons · 03/05/2016 11:47

I also think you should see her with her BF.
He's obviously a controlling asshole and she will need you and your friendship when the rose tinted glasses fall off her face.
Until then, just see her when you can.

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GinaBambino · 03/05/2016 11:57

I could have been your friend. My xh made it clear he was to go on all my nights out and as I thought he was so amazing, I let him. My friends gave up after a year, and yes I did go running to them and they were awesome! I think OP is asking for a bit of one on one time with her friend which is perfectly acceptable seeing how close they were. If it was a night out with loads of friends, I doubt she'd be bothered about the BF going. It's hard work being a gooseberry when your friend is 'loved up'
I'd reach out, suggest a shopping trip or spa day something exclusively female and see what happens. If see insists he comes I'd say you want to see her by herself, you miss her and could do with a bit of girly time. Still nothing, I'd back off completely and wait for the fall out.

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GinaBambino · 03/05/2016 11:58

*Sorry meant to say I went running back to them when I left 7 years later and they were awesome! It was like no time had passed.