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AIBU?

re Exh & birthday cake

50 replies

Blossom591 · 01/05/2016 11:34

Ds birthday today, arrangements made in advance,
I did a birthday party at home for 10 friends Saturday morning (bloody hard work on my own but all went well)
Ex collected him for sat afternoon.
This morning he comes over as arranged so he could see him on his actual birthday, all fine but ex just hanging round & then said when are we having the cake?
I've made a second cake to take down to my family this afternoon for tea but I didn't think to do another for him coming (that would be 3 I'm not Bloody Mary berry) but now he's being all passive aggressive moaning about how I've robbed him of a chance to sing happy birthday blah blah
I'm so sick of this shit, he's the same ex who slept in my bed if anyone remembers that
Should I just have made another sodding cake? Why can't he just enjoy the few hours with his son rather than pacing up & down & blaming me for stuff

OP posts:

Report

TheCrumpettyTree · 01/05/2016 13:28

No. Is he incapable of going to the shop and buying a cake? Thought not.

My reply would be 'well did you bring one?'

Blossom591 · 01/05/2016 19:46

Nothing like mumsnet to cheer me up thanks
He's got allergies so can't just pop to the shop for one (but some supermarkets do sell them) he would've had to have thought in advance though
Yeah, I'm not going to be made to feel bad about this one, when if ever does life go back to being drama free??

OP posts:

Blossom591 · 01/05/2016 19:50

But you know what you actually need to do is to stop having him in your house
Couldn't agree with you more & many problems would be solved (mainly desperately needing my own space but it's half his & I can't deny him access

OP posts:

starry0ne · 01/05/2016 19:56

Can he not sing Happy birthday without cake? My DS's class all managed to sing happy birthday to him on his birthday without so much as a crumb...

ConkerTriumphant · 01/05/2016 20:03

Oh I can top trump your cake story, no problem.

My ExH asked to visit to see DS in his birthday morning. I, thinking of DS, said yes.

The fucker came without a present and wanted to know what we'd bought our son!!!!

Blossom591 · 01/05/2016 20:17

that is outrageous

I'm not trying to trump you but exh bought ds a Top Gear magazine subscription he's 6

Call me cynical but I think it could be so he has reading material while he's round here with his feet up seeing the kids

OP posts:

starry0ne · 01/05/2016 21:05

Conker your post reminded me of my ex asking if I wanted him to sign birthday card for DS... I said no he could sign the card he bought.....I do have a fiend as well whose Ex put so much care and attention in picking a card picked one that said "god daughter "

fuzzywuzzy · 01/05/2016 21:07

Blossom could you cancel the subscription and get him a more child appropriate one if its all paid for?

fuzzywuzzy · 01/05/2016 21:08

Conked what did you say about the gift?

RandomMess · 01/05/2016 21:11

Tell him to jog on!!!

Any reason why you can't get an occupation order to keep him out?

DailyMailAreAFuckingJoke · 02/05/2016 08:44

I remember the bed thread. Lovey you really need to see a solicitor and see about getting an occupation order. He's moved out, so if he isn't living there any more he doesn't need access to the property - he can have his financial interest recorded (i.e. agreement that the house is sold by X time and his split of the proceeds is Y).

The sooner you can put this division in place, the better. He is like a tom cat marking his territory - I remember a thread by another MNer whose Ex used to invite himself in when collecting the kids and and crap in her loo. She ended up watching for his car and posting the kids straight out the door as soon as he pulled up.

ConkerTriumphant · 02/05/2016 10:28

Fuzzy I was extremely straight and polite, even though I wanted to both laugh in his face and punch him at the same time.

I think I said something like 'I have bought him xxxx. It's not from you. We no longer share finances so xxxx was bought out of my money, which is no longer a shared account. We divorced, remember?'

ConkerTriumphant · 02/05/2016 10:29

He called me a 'tight bitch'

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/05/2016 10:44

Good on you for standing your ground, Blossom, your ex could have MADE a cake for his son himself, knowing that he has allergies... after all YOU did, twice. He has absolutely no excuse. He could also have sung happy birthday with a candle in anything really, if he'd wanted to. Useless article.

===
FuckSanta, I reported your post because I want you and your pointless ilk banished to Pedants' Corner, never to be allowed to leave... your skin can crawl there to your heart's content.

Hissy · 02/05/2016 10:49

If that prick lives elsewhere he absolutely does not need to access your home.

You absolutely can stop him coming in. It's boundaries, and he's using the space to take the piss.

When he has access to his dc, he can make arrangements for things he wants to do with them outside of your home.

Hand dc over on the doorstep and close the door.

cardibach · 02/05/2016 11:29

Lying your post looks more like a personal attack to me than Fuck Santa 's.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/05/2016 11:32

Report it then cardibach but it's paraphrased from Santa's post. I'm fed up of the seemingly constant need that some posters have to correct other posters' grammar, spelling and punctuation on a thread.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 02/05/2016 11:34

I'm still relishing the idea of Bloody Mary Berry. She'd be a formidable foe with an axe, that's for sure!

Happy Birthday to your son, Blossom!

coffeeisnectar · 02/05/2016 11:35

Ah the stereotypical ex who thinks that just because you are no longer together doesn't mean that you can't still take responsibility for absolutely everything for him.

My ex was like this. I organised a party for my teen's birthday, all my family and our friends were coming. He INSISTED he be allowed to come. I said no. It was at our house, my family hate him (because you know, they don't think it's very nice that he thinks punching me in the face is normal behaviour) and he got really pissed off that he couldn't just waltz in and eat the food I'd spent hours making and try to make it all about him (as fucking usual).

Just get some boundaries in place. He no longer lives there and he doesn't have the right to have access to your home even if he has a financial interest. You have the right to privacy and the sooner you get that sorted the happier you will be.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/05/2016 12:54

Tell him to feck off, if he wanted to have a cake with his ds, she should have gone to the supermarket to buy one, or make it himself, silly twat.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/05/2016 12:56

I agree with coffee set boundaries, you are no longer together so should not be doing this. If he wants to have a party with ds, he should have organised one.

amarmai · 02/05/2016 14:03

so you are supposed to do the work, spend the money , make the arrangements etc for him to look and feel good? I can see why he is an ex. Why is he pacing for hours in your home?

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twirlypoo · 02/05/2016 14:42

Ooh do we have the same ex? I actually ended up buying 3 cakes though. Then I took great pleasure in asking him for half the cost of them all, plus the party in front of his mum so he couldn't say no

rumblingDMexploitingbstds · 02/05/2016 14:56

LOL

"Make a third cake? For you? You mean so you don't need to plan ahead, make one, buy one, sort yourself out, that sort of thing...... oooh it would be just like we were married! Except we're not."

RandomMess · 02/05/2016 15:48

twirlypoo - I love your style!!!!

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