AIBU to be cross at my husband?

[Crisscrosscranky]

It's our DD's birthday today- she's 9. We've had a great day playing with new toys etc ahead of her party tomorrow.

(Not-so)DH went to get his hair cut at lunchtime - he was out for about 45 mins. I was a bit miffed but DD didn't seem bothered so I let it go.

DD goes to bed around 8pm (even on her birthday- she hates a late night!!) and I was looking forward to snuggling up on the sofa with DH watching a film and generally feeling pretty proud of ourselves for raising such a brilliant DD (IMO!). He works away during the week so we don't get much time together and he's not always been home for her birthdays.

Anyway, cheeky beggar has gone to the pub with his mate! Hes not a regular pub frequenter- TBF to him he did ask of DD and I wanted to come- I politely explained little girls don't celebrate their birthdays in pubs...!). DD is soundo and not at all bothered; I'm quietly fuming...AIBU that he doesn't recognise that birthdays are family days?

Her birthday is about her, not you. She was not bothered and was in bed. YABU!

You need to unclench. You sound very controlling. She's having her party tomorrow. Presumably he will be in attendance? He shouldn't have to be forced into 'family time ' for the whole weekend.

I could understand you'd be annoyed if he sacked off a specially planned trip out but just sitting round the house doesn't trump a haircut except at Christmas!

YABU. 45 minutes is ok for a hair cut. But for the pub, did you tell him explicitly why you wanted him to be home with you? Looks like he didn't think much of it as DD was already asleep.

YABU. He spent most of the day with both of you. He also.invted you and DD to come with him to the pub. Children do like going to the pub for a lemonade with their parents

I mean for a treat.

I think YANBU. Basically he's just assumed you're staying in and decided he'd rather go out with other people than stay in with you. He's also done the classic thing of making an offer that he knows can't be accepted. In our house you would check the other person is ok with it before leaving them at home with the kids.

The birthday isn't really the issue here, more than he isn't there a lot and doesn't seem to make you a priority when he is. And as for 'he shouldn't have to be forced into family time' what about him wanting to spend some time with his wife if he's been away?

YANBU OP i would be upset by this. It's a family celebration. Considering he works away and was not with you both for the full day, why would he not want to chill out with you and watch a movie so you can both celebrate this day together and appreciate the efforts you have put in to this special day!

You wanted him home because you don't see him often? YANBU
You want to lay it on him to stay home because it's his DD's birthday? YABU

Also, does he get chance to have a haircut during the week? I don't because of work, so I don't see an issue with spending 45 minutes for a haircut.

Women like you make me quite happy being without one!

I'm just jealous that your child asks to go to bed at 8pm!