to think that women who are a size 6/8/10 are permanently on a diet?

[SabineUndine]

I don't mean diet as in counting every calorie, but diet as in they hardly eat any carbs and don't eat cakes, biscuits etc more than a couple of times a year? I am not a thin person (you guessed?) and I look at what my really slim female colleagues eat and it's salads with no carbs and just a tiny bit of protein, or soup or smoothies. Is that what it takes to be a thin person?

Excuse me IceBeing but when did I ever say my friends were 'starving' themselves?

Quite the opposite in fact.

It's not even about food that they argue/have endless discussions, it's about which kind of nice food they want to treat themselves to.

Now that's the sort of thing I wouldn't bat an eyelid at if we were going to a restaurant for the evening.

Not buying a couple of pairs of jeans and a cardigan at Primark.

IceBeing are you talking about "Thin Privilege"?

Also people inheriting money can be moral and redistribute the wealth - we can't exactly redistribute the thinness can we?

I have always been a size 6 at my smallest, a 10 at my biggest. I eat what I want. In all honesty, my diet is pretty terrible
Crisps are a staple of my diet. I eat pizza at least twice a week too. I can't remember the last time I ate a salad I eat crap, but I don't eat huge portions - I think that's why I'm not piling weight on.
I don't go to the gym or do any form of "proper" exercise anymore either.
I think I'm one of those people with a quick metabolism that will catch up on me in the future and I will start gaining weight as I get older if I don't change my ways

I have doctored your first post a bit OP, to show why it is annoying to slim people reading it...

To think that woman who are 16/18/20 are permanently eating loads?

I don't mean as in intentionally upping their calories, but eat loads as in they eat tons of carbs and eat cakes, biscuits a couple of times a day? I am not a fat person (you guessed?) and I look at what my really fat female colleagues eat: carbs, no salads, lots of protein protein, junk processed food, sweets and chocolate . Is that what it takes to be a fat person?

thecats but there IS something stopping people eating less. The fact that eating less leaves you feeling really hungry. Which isn't a nice sensation....or particularly easy to ignore.

If you can eat till you don't feel hungry and not gain weight then you are lucky. What causes others to gain weight is that when they eat till they don't feel hungry they DO gain weight.

The moving more aspect is irrelevant. If you do exercise you eat more to reach the same level of hunger. So doing more exercise makes no difference to the problem of having to stop eating when you still feel hungry.

Everyone is 'naturally' slim.

It's when people eat too much food and don't take enough exercise that they become unnaturally fat (obvious medical reasons excluded).

Although having said that, with 64% of UK adults being overweight/obese, it can be hard to remember.

And there we have it, the belief of a thin person that anyone who isn't thin takes no exercise and eats rubbish.

I walk - I have a pedometer and make sure I get at least 10,000 steps a day. I go to the gym regularly and in fact have been seeing a personal trainer for the last 6 months and despite doing fairly gruelling workouts 3 x per week I haven't seen any reduction on the scales or indeed much change in my overall stats apart from a bit of a reduction of visceral fat.

This is because exercise is fine for maintaining weight - so useful if you're already trim, but not a great way of losing it.

I admit my diet isn't perfect, but I have a good knowledge of nutrition and my being slightly overweight is caused by a) slightly too big portions b) enjoying the social aspect of eating out and probably doing it a bit too often and c) being perimenopausal.

It's very unfair to say that anyone overweight takes no exercise and is greedy (such a loaded word).

Ice I don't agree it is a privilege, as it is for the vast majority of the population, something which can be controlled.

However I do understand that it must be an unhappy way to live. Have you spoken with a nutritionist/personal trainer with regard to exercise and diet? I only ask because I know someone who has lost four stone in the last year through exercise and entirely changing their eating habits after spending some time with a personal trainer to get them started.

The lean in 15 90 day plan is also supposed to be good. I have the recipe book and they're actually nice, unlike in a lot of "diet" recipe books.

There are ways you can eat well and not be starving hungry.

I read a French expression once "paying attention" and I think that sums it up, you pay attention. So you have what you fancy, but you pay attention to the fact you are having it. A little bit of cake, one biscuit etc.
Icebucket, I do get the feeling weak and dizzy in town, but bananas actually work really well for that, I think it's the potassium. Greggs sausage rolls....they make me feel like I'm about to break out in a million zits, never mind the calories.

What I mean is people can forget that it is rude to give unwanted judgements about diet and body shape regardless of BMI.

I have never ever dieted in my life and have always been about a size 10, bmi 21, I eat pretty much what I want, my mum has never dieted and is a size 6-8. Its not genes or fast metabolism its portions, we both eat plenty of carbs, cake biscuits etc. But will have 2 biscuits for example or a couple of sweets. I like cake but my slices are small and often a bit shocked by how large some peoples slices are.
I have 2 housemates, one a size 6 and one an 18, the size 18 always goes on about how her and the size 6 eat the same but they don't. My size 6 friend has 70g pasta say with pesto/plain tomato sauce and one slice of garlic bread whilst the size 18 friend has about 250g of pasta with tomato and bacon sauce and cheese and a whole garlic bread. If you just say tomato pasta and garlic bread it sounds the same but they're actually eating completely different things. And completely different amounts. Plus the larger housemate is also having snacks. The size 6 housemate doesn't diet or think about what she eats but her portion sizes are much smaller.

I'm sorry but that's bollocks! You are not "born into" your metabolims, it's not some fixed number. It's in no way comparable to being born into wealth.

Half my family are very overweight. They blame genetics. They will drive such short distances that by the time you park up, the driving took longer than walking did!

The rest of us get shamed by them all the time, either accused of being "fanatical" about exercise ( if we go to the gym once or twice a week) or of being "funny about food" if we ever turn down anything!

Anyone. ANYONE would be overweigh if they made their life choices - it's not genetics or some pre-set disposition you have or don't have (excluding things like conditions that require steriods etc)

1000 sounds far too low even for a weight loss diet, no wonder you're hungry. Eat more fat and protein to keep you going between meals.

IceBeing it's just a matter of getting used to it. If I've been sick for a few days, I automatically can't eat as much, because I'm no longer used to it. Overweight people would eventually get used to eating less.

furiousa no - I am talking about 'fast metabolism' privilege....or 'inefficient gut bacteria' privilege or 'low ghrelin' privilege.

I am talking about sitting down for lunch with a friend when they can just eat and not worry about it, stop when they are full and not gain weight....while I have to scour the menu for something low calorie regardless of what I actually want to eat, then get to the end of the meal not only still feeling hungry but probably having already blown my calorie quota for the rest of the day into the bargain.

As I said upthread I'm size 8-10, BMI about 22.

This does seem to be my "natural" weight - as in, I don't have to think about it very much. I actually prefer the way I look 4 or 5 pounds lighter but that would take a much greater level of effort and self-denial than I can honestly be arsed with. So maybe that's the thing with the women OP mentions?

The other thing about the way I eat is I might have a weekend of relatively indulgent food or whatever but then I don't feel great so I naturally feel like eating lighter more vegetable based food for a few days. Maybe I have less tolerance of feeling a bit below par or it somehow affects me more than it might some people?

Sabine, I believe you didn't mean for the OP to sound as offensive as it does but I join in with those who think the premise in your first post was a massive generalisation.

I am a size 6, have a very small frame, and probably a little underweight according to those BMI calculators. I always have been. A lot of women (always women and always on the larger side) seem to feel that they have a right to be rude to me because I am thin. I sometimes get the feeling that they want me to have an eating disorder in order to justify their inability to have a healthy relationship with food and/or inability to go down to their preferred weight. I've had: "you must constantly be on diet", "stop starving yourself" "Feed the girl a burger" "I have seen more fat on a butchers pencil". I do roll my eyes at them but I can't say it bothers me as much these days. I think because I know the issue is their's. Their issues are not my problem.

Constant dieting disturbs me as much as gluttony. I get what IceBerg is saying (sort of); I do feel lucky/privileged - I have a healthy relationship with food. I enjoy food, but I don't obsess about it. It is also not my source of comfort as it is seems to be for some people. I don't really think about it except when meal planning, cooking or eating. I don't overeat. I eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full. I like fresh home cooked meals as opposed to junk food. I am always appropriately hungry before before a meal, but never ravenous. After a meal I am sated but never stuffed.

I exercise because I enjoy feeling fit and well. I like to spend a lot of time on my feet. I do have the luxury of time, so if I have to go somewhere I will walk. I love the outdoors in all weathers. Rain is glorious, the sun shining is always wonderful and snow is magical.

Icebeing if you chose what you felt like eating you might feel satisfied and then not be hungry after, just like your friend.

Hmm I think it's more self regulation. I eat pretty much what I want but if I have a bad week with junk, alcohol etc I'll tend to compensate and eat a bit better for a while afterwards just because it makes me feel rubbish. I also do a lot of exercise and think I'd naturally weigh about half a stone more than I currently do without that.

oops IceBeing

Thin privilege isnt a thing ice you cant say its privilege its just natural weight

Nope. An acquaintance of mine pre-pregnancy was naturally a size 6/8 and she lived a pretty unhealthy lifestyle, I think it's down to her height and stature. Even with her pregnancy, she's still quite tiny but obviously her lifestyle has changed!

Oh I agree you can change your stomach size etc. so that nice feeling of fullness can be lived without...but the growling hunger isn't going anywhere.

I've dieted previously for a period of 18 months, and I never stopped feeling hungry all the time. Once I got down to my target weight I tried to eat 'normally' for a while and just slammed back on the weight.

My brain fundamentally doesn't agree with my body about how many calories have been used. It is convinced I need to eat another mars bars worth per day in order to hit level. So I gain weight or I go hungry. There is no middle ground.

Not true here either. Am a size 10 and live off of pasta and chocolate!
Was a size 6/8 until I had children and never dieted.

I'm usually a size 8 (had a baby last week so still deflating) and love carbs, eat biscuits & cake, love ice cream, not so bothered about chocolate. Except for 3 months of pregnancy where I had GD I have never been on a diet but I'm quite good at portion size and only eating when hungry.
When I smoked at university I was a size 4 but I think I mainly existed on booze & fags so my diet was a bit shit.