to think that women who are a size 6/8/10 are permanently on a diet?

[SabineUndine]

I don't mean diet as in counting every calorie, but diet as in they hardly eat any carbs and don't eat cakes, biscuits etc more than a couple of times a year? I am not a thin person (you guessed?) and I look at what my really slim female colleagues eat and it's salads with no carbs and just a tiny bit of protein, or soup or smoothies. Is that what it takes to be a thin person?

amicisima i get what you are saying i just find it interesting that in discussions about weight even when talking hypothetically its always the female description used rather than the male one.

decaffcoffee has an interesting observation as to how people experience the sensation of hunger. I think this applies to other sensations too - such as the discomfort of exercise.

Some time ago, three new people joined a spin class I attend. They were all fat, one of them very fat. During the warm up phase, the very fat lady kept calling out to the instructor, asking how much longer it was going on, when could she stop. After a few minutes, she became quite distressed, and ultimately started to cry. She left the class, saying to her friends that she was in too much pain to continue, she was frightened.

Since then I have wondered whether some people are more tuned into their body's sensations than others. Perhaps perceiving as "pain", what others experience as discomfort, and in addition do not have coping mechanisms for these sensations.

amicisima

Thats interesting, thats what i need to do, i did read that you need to stick with diet/healthy eating for at least a year after goal to try and retrain your body

For what its worth i was downright skinny til i developed an underactive thyroid...stupid fucking thyroid

Do need to retrain my body though

Interesting you should mention that about exercise carabos.
I think it's like labour (normal uncomplicated labour). You can "enjoy" labour by training yourself to think of it as warmth not pain, and have positive associations with the contractions (bringing you closer to your baby) and all that, or you can get scared and panic and then it hurts more.
I think exercise is very similar, if you enjoy the sensation of "feeling the burn" because you have positive associations with exercise, you're not feeling pain the same way as someone who drags themselves there saying "I HATE THE GYM, I HATE THE GYM"

Interesting thought carabos.

I've always thought some people are very weak-minded, and give up at the first sign of struggle, whereas some will persevere when the going gets tough.

This applies in lots of things; degrees, jobs, diets, exercise, saving for a house etc.

But yes I have seen people say they are going to start running, go once, decide after 3 minutes that it "hurts" and that is the end of it. They have no comprehension that it hurts for everyone at first, but it hurts less the more you stick at it.

It's as if they expect to go from zero to a hundred easily without having to put in the hard work to get there.

carabos thats a really interesting thought. I have a very very low ability to endure pain...I feel all pain more than anyone else I know. I had a horrendous time giving birth because none of the epidural, spinal block or anything worked - and I find period pain, smear test pain, overwhelming.

I wonder if I also find low level hunger messages far more intrusive than normal humans as well? Maybe that is why I go from okay, to unable to concentrate hungry with relatively little in between?

I wonder if I can fix hunger issues with ibuprofen?

aye some people are more naturally tenacious than others...or have more 'willpower'. I don't know why people view willpower as a choice though? I mean everybody wants more will power....and a lack of will power isn't something you can obviously fix even if you acknowledge you lack it?

I, through nature and nurture, ended up with a decent sized IQ. I don't tend to assume people who struggle with calculus are somehow morally inferior to me. I, through nature and nurture, ended up with a deficit in the will power category...why should you think less of me because of it?

OldLaundBooth - Simply put,Brits eat more.

Eat more than who?

Obesity is a massive problem in many many countries now.

I think exercise is very similar, if you enjoy the sensation of "feeling the burn" because you have positive associations with exercise, you're not feeling pain the same way as someone who drags themselves there saying "I HATE THE GYM, I HATE THE GYM

I do think some people are far more sensitive to pain that others, of course, we are all different, I would also be the fatty crying out in a class to stop and having to take time out. However I know that its because I am not fit, and gradually after a few classes I will be hopping away with the best of them, loving the burn.

There are different burns. The burn when your muscles are working well and your pushing yourself and there is the burn when your muscles actually seize up and you cant physically go any further.

I also had a life long fear of CB but when it came to it, there was no where else to go or do, except get though it as best as possible and I can honestly say, when it started, I felt overwhelmingly calm, lots of deep breaths, massage oils and all the rest, pethadine and gas and air, and it was still horrific and awful. But I dint feel scared when I was in labour. I had a so called great first labour too, short and no intervention and no stitches.

"Someone who does that I suspect is also being vvveeerryyy careful with money"

No, if you're careful with money you don't get the Covent Garden soups, you make your own or get a cheap tinned one. I think they're made for two servings, but not three and watering it down does sound a bit extreme.

I can assure you you can get three bowls of soup out of a covent garden carton. Not three full to the lip of the bowl bowls, but three adequite portions.

I enjoy exercise, I have not exercising and miss it if I don't do as much of it as usual

I think if we understood better how people feel things - pain, hunger, emotions- we might be closer to helping people whose weight is a problem for them. I think there is evidence on this thread of complete incomprehension that for some / many of us, hunger isn't something we need to treat with food, isn't feared, doesn't make us miserable. Food isn't something that makes us feel happy, or physically better. We just don't relate to it like that and for people who do, that is impossible to understand.

I also think, like some posters above, that there's something around waiting - wait and see if the discomfort of exercise diminishes, wait and see how it feels afterward, wait until you are properly hungry before you eat. Don't fear.

"Re. treat i only eat cake on ppls birthdays and my own Works out as around 5 times a year."

It's somebody's birthday nearly ever day at my workplace and they all bring in cakes.

YABU I've always been slim and I'm always aghast when I look at diet supplements in magazines and ponder how the hell people can get by on eating such little amounts!

Okay.

From what I've gathered none of the slim people are eating :

Bowl full fat milk porridge and a Full English for breakfast.

Burger and chips for lunch, large coke

Latte and a brownie mid afternoon

Chicken tikka dupiaza, garlic naan, rice and and a portion of bhajis, washed down with three pints of Tiger.

If I could, that's what I'd eat. I don't. I want to be a 10, not an 18.

So slim folks simply eat less, and better.

Went to marks with a "petite" friend

She had a cappuccino, i had a skinny latte (100 calories)

The waitress brought over a bowl of porridge with fruit and a toasted t cake, she looked at me in a "which one is yours sort of way"

"NEITHER, THEY ARE BOTH THE 5 ft NOTHING, SIZE EIGHT PERSONS... I CAN'T EAT THAT OR I WOULD BE MORE THAN THE TWICE HER SIZE THAT I AM NOW"

i didnt really yell in real life

I wish i could bloody eat that old

I'm really trying to think 'eyes on my own plate' these days, what other people choose to eat, their body size, their health etc is no concern of mine, just as mine is no concern of theirs.

So much judgement and so many assumptions about what other people eat, or how they move their bodies, so much self-congratulation if we think we're getting it 'right' compared to the next person. We're conditioned to think like this and I do it as much as anyone, but I'm so bloody bored of it. Hurray for you if you've found what is enjoyable, satisfying and nourishing for you. We may all be 'naturally slim' as babies but we don't all grow up in perfect, 'natural' conditions and a healthy relationship with food doesn't come naturally to lots of people. And you only get there by focusing on your relationship with your body and what you eat, so what's the point in comparing with others or judging either them or yourself?

That is bs Oldlaundbooth. I am 5ft 9 and 60kg. I have eaten that diet you have described, minus the 3 Tigers regularly and I remain the same weight. Contrary to popular belief some of us struggle to put on and keep on the weight. It's not the done thing to admit but not everyone needs to diet. I haven't read the whole thread but at the beginning other posters admitted eating large portions yet remained thin. I guess it is down to genetics. All of my family are thin, that is just our body type. Yabu OP, the world is made up of many types of people so why should body shape be any different ?

Ice I don't consider it to be like IQ really. IQ is more like height, you can't really influence it at all.

Mental strength can be learned just like physical strength can be. You just need to persevere when it gets tough even though it's the last thing you want to do; knowing that it will become easier the more you make yourself do it.

It's a bit like the "buy it now on credit card" attitude, you don't need to have everything Right Now. Delayed gratification is part of being an adult and making sensible choices.

If you want another big chunk of cake, you can have it tomorrow for your lunch, rather than have a second slice as a mid-afternoon snack in-between lunch and dinner, the world won't end if you have to wait 20 more hours for it.

(I don't mean you as in you personally).

Like others, I don't feel I restrict my calorie intake. I do however eat significantly less than someone who is overweight. Much of this is down to luck - I was brought up with a fairly healthy attitude to food.

I do get incredibly hungry. I exercise outdoors a lot and hunger goes with that. But, that hunger is fairly easily sated.

Design junkie - so interesting, as for years I was convinced of exactly the same as you. I seem to always eat more than my friends when we go out and I deffo don't eat a saintly diet

So I always assumed I must have some mega metabolism that meant whatever I ate, I didn't seem to gain weight

Given I later discovered (when trying to put on weight) that I didn't eat as much as I thought I did, I wonder if perhaps even with regular pizza blow outs or scoffing daily chocolate bars, if OVERALL my calorie consumption was still fairly low. Ie even though I'd regularly eat a shit load in one sitting, and often have high calorie snacks, was this actually pretty unrepresentative of my overall diet

Not saying this is the case for you - more a general musing!

Gwen, Covent Garden soups are almost always on offer. Reduced to a pound or 24£3. So watering down and spreading over three days works out to be incredibly cheap. Utterly dire though

I think that the latest posts have really hit the nail on the head. The idea that people feel discomfort and hunger differently is interesting. I LOVE the feeling of pushing myself to the limit at the gym, makes me feel so powerful. I have a mantra that I will never stop, even if I slow right down, never stop.

I don't mind low level hunger either. Can't stand to be actually hungry and very very rarely am, but the feeling that my stomach is totally flat and that I will shortly tuck in to something tasty wholesome and feed my body, is a positive feeling rather than something that has me frantically reaching for the bourbons.

Really don't like the equating of food/weight issues with moral/mental qualities going on in this thread.

Being overweight is not a moral failing or a sign of mental weakness ffs. I've survived abuse and domestic violence as a child, lost both my natural and adoptive parents, been the sole carer for my mum through terminal cancer, overcome illness myself, achieved three degrees and a successful career, continue to study as well as work, volunteer, maintain a relationship and keep my house going etc etc etc. I am plenty mentally strong and I'm a bloody good person (most of the time), understand the concept of hard work and delayed gratification perfectly well, and sometimes I feel like eating the whole damn cake.

The sooner we realise that food has no inherent moral value, that what you eat doesn't make you better or worse than the next person, that it's possibly one of the least interesting or important thing about us, and that there's no 'good', 'bad', 'sinful', 'virtuous' 'naughty' or whatever else food, there's only food you enjoy and food you don't enjoy, food that supports your goals or not, food that fits your budget/time and resources or not, the 'healthier' we'll all be.