to think that women who are a size 6/8/10 are permanently on a diet?

[SabineUndine]

I don't mean diet as in counting every calorie, but diet as in they hardly eat any carbs and don't eat cakes, biscuits etc more than a couple of times a year? I am not a thin person (you guessed?) and I look at what my really slim female colleagues eat and it's salads with no carbs and just a tiny bit of protein, or soup or smoothies. Is that what it takes to be a thin person?

I'm 5ft 3 so not overly tall.

I'm about a size 6.

No not bulimic. I can't describe my problems really. Unless I'm actually hungry I don't eat. If I try to force myself to eat I'll be sick. And I hate being sick. This means I could probably go all day and only eat two packets of crisps.

I don't like trying new food. I panic slightly over it.

Whenever I do eat a meal, I rarely finish it. Not because I don't enjoy it but I know that if I stop when I do, a few moments later I will feel full.

There are so many factors at work, the calories in/calories out theory only holds true up to a point and even with that it's emerging to be very inexact because of what a pp also said, how our bodies deal with different types of calories is variable. Emotional eating aside, consider -

• an 8oz steak cooked rare will have less calories than same steak well done because our body has to do less work to break down the cooked steak - same as that same steak minced and cooked will have more calories than 'straight up'

Our bodies also need certain nutrients, good fat, protein, vitamins....whilst you can fill your body with hundreds or even thousands of empty calories and get enough energy to move, our body will still send hunger signals because it hasn't got the other things it needs. Appetite serves a function...

Rather than thinking purely in terms of calories think about what your body uses food for. Carbs aren't the devil but highly processed carbs main use is energy and most of us don't need so much of that. So of 500 calories of energy there may be 300 wasted and stored as fat. Of 500 calories of wholefood carbs, protein and good fat there's likely to be much less 'waste', it takes more energy to break the food down in the first place there will be fibre that passes through and helps our gut micro biome, and components are used to build and maintain muscle, to repair and regenerate cells, eyesight, brain function etc. A much bigger 'bang for your buck' calorie wise and you feel full longer as well as being healthier.

Added to which the effect sugar and highly processed food has on blood sugar/hunger signals.

Dieting and listening to a set of rules serves to disconnect us from what works for our own body and makes certain 'bad' foods seem highly desirable.

More often than not, as per certain pp's have said, people who easily maintain a healthy weight (which can also vary quite a lot from person to person and isn't necessarily what a bmi chart says), haven't dieted, they eat a high quality diet without demonising anything. They are satisfied by what they eat so in fact the crap rarely appeals and when it does that just have a little, the tendency to binge just isn't there.

Well said sleep.

I've also realised my 'binges' are not really binges as others might see. Eg 8 squares of dark chocolate will feel like a mammoth binge to me. I usually have one or two, a couple of times a day at most of at all. I savour it slowly! I think my overload radar is lower than some. But to me it's a lot.

I did once inhale a full pack of donuts. Growth spurt!

The thing is, it's easy to make small changes that can make a difference.

eg Ditching the lunchtime sarnie and having a salad instead- buy or take from home.
Having porridge for breakfast instead of 'empty' calorie, refined carbs like cornflakes.

Eating sweet potatoes instead of white spuds- so much higher in nutrients.

Not eating white pasta or white rice..again, just empty refined carbs.

There are so many better alternatives which long term can be better for health not just weight.

The one thing I have noticed is that if I am starving hungry I crave stuff like burgers, but if I am just slightly peckish, i'll be much more rational and eat something normal and healthy. The grazing works for me - eating nuts, grapes etc between meals and a decent healthy lentil based lunch and dinner work for me. If I just had 3 meals a day I would eat much more saturated fats.

I would like to reassure people who have different body shape to me that I don't judge you at all. Honestly. As my grandad used to say - you're a long time dead - so l concentrate on trying to lead a rewarding and happy life rather that caring about looking a certain way.

you're a long time dead - so l concentrate on trying to lead a rewarding and happy life rather that caring about looking a certain way.

Well, yes. But being able to lead a rewarding and happy life is not about 'caring about looking a certain way' per se, it's about being healthy and active in order to do things that are rewarding.

Life isn't really rewarding or happy if you have amputations from being diabetic, or disability from heart disease or cancer because you've spent your life being overweight. (And yes, unlucky slim people get ill too, I know.)

It's possible to lead a rewarding and happy life, and care about what your feed yourself and your family etc.

you're a long time dead - so l concentrate on trying to lead a rewarding and happy life rather that caring about looking a certain way.

Why assume that a size 10 eating a salad is just concerned with looks? I want a long & happy & healthy life. Food is fuel for that. Being healthy makes me happy and grateful. I want to give a good example to my kids so that they can be healthy and happy. Overeating & junkfood = excessive cakes and chips does not sound like a happy life for me or my kids

Yes.
I have to remind myself to eat veg. :)
It's probably not that far from limiting portions if you have a tendency to gain weight.
It's not a problem in my life except when planning meals.

Size 8 six footer here on 2500-3000 calories a day. I exercise every day though, I don't sit eating biscuits moaning about my squishy bits.

BTW I eat that amount because I exercise so much, if I didn't I would keel over. I exercise because I love it, and it keeps me strong and healthy.

What I meant by my post was, that diet and appearance is only a small part of what makes you you, and so many people slim, not slim get really stressed about it. I was just trying to say (obviously not very clearly) that it shouldn't rule your life and make you feel worthless.

I'm a size 10. Until I was about 40 I didn't put weight on at all. I could eat not only a chocolate eclair but finish the packet of 5 without even a hint of regret. I formal believe that this has not been a blessing. You're far more inclined to eat well if you're conscious of the side effects of weight gain. I now very much have to consider what I eat. And yes, you'd be right in my case to assume as you have. But up until 40, nope I didn't avoid eating anything.

It's fascinating to read so many people equating controlling what one eats with misery. Maybe the step change in attitude needs to be to recognise that for many many people, food is just fuel. I am one of them. I take on board messages about what is the right kind of fuel for my particular vehicle and what it needs to do, put that fuel in, and don't think too much more about it. Yes I like sweets, cake etc, but not enough to put my body out of balance. I have lots of interests in life, food isn't one of them and it certainly isn't something that makes me either miserable or happy. I have no emotional response to it.

That's like assuming all curvy women constantly overeat! Everyone is different, genetics pay a role in everyone's appearances. Why do you care? As long as you're happy with who you are! I am a size 16-18 and probably eat much more than I should (as soon as I diet I drop weight very quickly) so I know that I am not "meant" to be this size. I would just concentrate on yourself and stop worrying about what doesn't really concern you

falling
Funniest. I think your post is quite ignorant. People are naturally all different shapes and sizes and health, metabolism, genetics and lifestyle all play a part. Your "blame" attitude is unkind. Weight is not an exact science.

I don't think anything I said was ignorant. It really, really, really is an exact science and no one has anyone to blame but themselves for their bodyweight (ignoring the very few with real disabilities or genetic disorder s).

I agreed with a previous poster and quoted them. People come in all shapes and sizes but none of them "very overweight". Peoples' refusal to take responsibility or blame is a sad feature of modern Britain.

It's a shame people talk about misery of eating the wonderful gorgeous foods I eat every day! It's not misery at all. It takes about 3 weeks to change a habit. I don't feel miseable and deprived because I had prawns and mixed sea food stir fry for lunch. It was absolutely delicious. In fact if you eat well you tend to find empty calorie junk foods stop feeling like some wonderful treat actually and taste like the junk they are.

Also I have had my long marriage and children. I eat for health and strength. I do quite a bit of heavy lifting and garden work and I want to be able to keep up that strength for decades. It is true I don't feel I look as good if I get over 10 stone but I never sit here involved in some kind of massive deprivation. I love food.

Size 8 six footer here on 2500-3000 calories a day. I exercise every day though, I don't sit eating biscuits moaning about my squishy bits.

Well good for you squidgymidgy building right into that myth that overweight people don't exercise.

Like I said upthread I exercise quite a lot, am still a bit overweight. i wish I could say it was from lovely indulgences all the time, but I actually eat fairly healthily, so I believe it's by eating a little more -say a 100 calories per day -than I need. This equates to putting on a pound a month.

I've now decided to try to eat mindfully as I'm a bit embarassed/annoyed about having forked out huge amount of ££ to personal trainer and working out hard at the gym for several months without seeing much visible difference. Good news is I'll be able to carry all our holiday luggage singlehandedly though !

One of the reasons I decided to stop with the personal trainer is that he encouraged me to log what I ate on MFP so we could see areas for improvement. Great idea. Wanting some inspriation for healthy recipe ideas I went on his MFP only to discover that he fuels himself mostly on protein shakes and creme eggs. Super and just what I want to emulate . He just also happens to be 6ft + and do a lot of weights.

If you're taller and broadly built then of course you can eat more. If a 5ft person ate 2500-3000 calories per day, then regardless of what exercise they took, unless perhaps it was an ultra marathon, then they'd put on weight. Doesn't automatically make them greedy and lazy.

YABU as I think you knew anyway, that isn't what it takes to be thin.

At my height a size 10 is a healthy BMI but I have been told by people who want to lose weight either 'you eat like a bird' or 'it's not fair that you eat what you like and don't put on weight'. I sometimes eat salads, I sometimes eat chips but my weight has been constant all my adult life without ever being on a 'diet'.

I do think this is partly genetic (the feeling full gene?) but also that I don't think about what I'm eating in terms of weight loss/gain. I may be wrong, but I think that naturally slim people have this in common.

Overeating often has a psychological root so it is not as straightforward as saying eat less and move more. To go from being overweight to being a healthy weight takes changing the way you think about food.

It's fascinating to read so many people equating controlling what one eats with misery.

I find it a sad state of affairs that people working at maintaining a substantial healhy weight (size 10 is not tiny/skinny for most heights) are being talked about as if they're the abnormal ones.

And that it's miserable to not overeat, and not the other way around. I think it sounds much more miserable to rely on over-eating as a form of happiness

I once had an aerobics instructor who was really quite chubby, compared to most fitness instructors not huge or anything, but I think you'd describe her as plump or a bit podgy. She did class after class of high impact aerobics, day in, day out.. But she had the figure of someone you might assume was a bit lazy and ate too many biscuits while moaning about being a bit too fat. I used to look at her and think:

a) how in a fair world, does this work? Why is she not a beanpole? I am exhausted after one class, she'll do three or four or maybe even more in a day.

b) if this is her size/shape given the job she does then what's the point of me flogging my guts out three times a week?

Yes Yes MardleBum - it shows that whilst there is some connection between exercise and how you look, it's not as strong as everyone makes out. I know quite a few folk that take quite a lot of exercise ( myself included) but you'd never pick us out in a lineup of heallthy looking people.

I genuinely thought that by changing my exercise regime to include heavy lifting I'd blast the few extra pounds off in no time. That's not how it's turned out.

Exercise tones you up - I've got bigger due to my now bulging muscles but it doesn't thin you down. Not unless you're doing a lot of HIT, but you'd have to do a lot to make a difference.

I think where exercise works is that if you're at a healthy weight then a reasonable amount of exericse will help you stop putting weight on.

I enjoy exercising and it keeps me feeling good, but it is disheartening when people assume I don't take any. Or indeed that I don't know the nutritional difference between an ordinary and sweet potato, or that porridge is better than corn flakes for breakfast . I may be size 14 but I haven't got fat deposits around my brain.

I find it a sad state of affairs that people working at maintaining a substantial healhy weight (size 10 is not tiny/skinny for most heights) are being talked about as if they're the abnormal ones.

That's the thing though, isn't it?
'Working at maintaining a healthy weight'.

Why does maintaining a healthy weight need 'work'?

Most of the slim contributors to this thread have said they don't 'work' at it - they have a full switch, a healthy relationship around food and move a lot (not just exercise, but daily movement).

There are so many things at play - build, shape, genetics, diet, activity levels, environment, mental health, peer groups - it is impossible to have a one size fits all 'solution'.

The best everyone can do, regardless of size, is to eat well and move regularly.
A lot of the incidental exercise our ancestors used to do is missing from our lives now - washing clothes and cleaning used to expend massive amounts of energy, that and walking everywhere would have kept people trim & toned with no extra gym/exercise effort required, food was less in amount too.

Wow, this thread moves fast and contains an interesting and diverse mix of opinions. I'm 46, 5 foot 8 and 8 and a half stone (don't have scales but was weighed during a check up last week). I never eat three meals a day but I pick as and when I feel hungry. I control my intake in that I don't buy cake/biscuits as I don't really like them but know that if I had them and I was bored, I would eat them and then feel my blood sugar rising (this may be psychological).

Today's food:
About 8 cups of tea with almond milk.
One chocolate (given to me, not that I would limit myself to one if I had a box)
Two packets of Hula Hoop puffs
Tin of tuna, chopped lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise
Porridge with sugar (small bowl)
Chunk of cheese - maybe 50g-ish
Tonight I will have a Covent Garden pot of soup and toast plus probably pick at cereal and the ice cream tub
20 minute walk today but nothing else.

because it's the ones who work at it who are being criticised for leading miserable lives

yes there's people who don't need to do it consciously, but for the people who choose to be conscious and mindful so as to not tip over weight… why is that the abnormal reaction to not being able to do it without thinking.. Vs going with your cravings to "be happy"