to think that women who are a size 6/8/10 are permanently on a diet?

[SabineUndine]

I don't mean diet as in counting every calorie, but diet as in they hardly eat any carbs and don't eat cakes, biscuits etc more than a couple of times a year? I am not a thin person (you guessed?) and I look at what my really slim female colleagues eat and it's salads with no carbs and just a tiny bit of protein, or soup or smoothies. Is that what it takes to be a thin person?

Nautical I walk fast but mine is in a pram so I don't have to contend with a slow tot. I think how active your kids are plays into it. DS is livewire so even at home I'm always on the go.

Also I often skip meals just because I don't have time! I forget to eat

I get a bit cross with the "they're skinny so they must be starving themselves" view. It's genes & metabolism. I eat what I like and am described as 'petite', but then, so is my mum.

I've put on loads recently due to a combination of bad diet (which i have always had) and a medical condition. But before that I weighed 7.5 stone and ate literally everything I wanted. I really miss those days...

I'm the same as you Nautical, being a mum to a small child has made me fatter than ever. I'm sure when he's at school and activities it will be different as I'll be walking a lot with him to get to places, plus he's only two so can't ask to go places so I only go when I feel like it. Basically he's still on my schedule but in time I will follow his which will surely mean being more active. We spend a lot of time inside playing and reading etc but it doesn't expend much energy! I take him out a few times a week but I don't have the energy to do it daily.

It's a catch 22- I want to be more active but it's hard and more tiring when I'm big, but to get slim I need to be more active...

I think the impact of vanity sizing is overestimated - I'd have been an 8-10 in the 1980s and I'm a 6-8 now in UK sizes. The difference is probably one size on average. Maybe it depends on brand? As a small person, I buy a lot of continental (french/spanish) brands and I'm usually a European 36. It's true that I do avoid certain UK brands because their clothes never fit me.

I'm a size 10. I can eat a whole packet of biscuits a day. go through cake like there is no tomorrow. my diet is really bad.

Forgot to add... because I'm less active, I have more time to eat! This thread states the obvious but is really helpful.. need to stop being a lazy sod

This thread is depressing. I am hugely overweight, and get constant criticism and insult from society from every direction. The assumption is that I must be stuffing my gob with high calorie junk in all my waking hours. In fact I eat only whole, fresh, home-cooked foods, two meals a day, and just water or tea - no sugar, no fizzy drinks and haven't touched alcohol for 20+ years. If I go out for a meal I only ever have the main course and a calorie free drink, whilst my slim companion(s) invariably have two or three courses, side dishes and booze.

When I spend time in the close company of friends on holiday and see what they eat over a few days, they always eat about double what I eat - plus alcohol on top. My boyfriend, who takes zero exercise and drives everywhere, has a huge greasy fry up every morning, drinks half a bottle of wine with dinner every night, has two sugars in his ten cups of tea a day and eats loads of crisps and Hobnobs and still wears the same size jeans (30 waist) that he wore 40 years ago.

It seems unbearably unfair that fat people are held personally to blame, ridiculed and criticised and are assumed to habitually overeat, when it's clear that it's not a moral failing at all -- as is proved by the fact that most slim people don't even know the calorie content of anything and don't restrict themselves at all, eating according to appetite.

I haven't RTFT but I am a size 8. I fluctuate in weight by half a stone or so and could gain a lot if I changed my eating habits completely but generally stay around the eight and a half stone mark. I do try and diet to lose half a stone every now and again but usually just before a holiday. My typical day is definitely not like something from a diet book but I am generally active and exercise three times a week.

A typical day could be:

Breakfast: Two slices of brown toast with butter and peanut butter, tea
Lunch: A noodle and chicken salad or similar, fruit salad, chocolate bar
Snack: Popcorn or three biscuits
Dinner: Pan fried mini chicken fillets with sweet potato mash with cheese and stir fried vegetables.
Dessert: I usually have something sweet like a couple of chocolates or an ice cream afterwards.

I don't drink much alcohol but I go out for dinner about twice a week and have a curry or Chinese, not huge portions though.

Well, yes, Curviest, you are to 'blame' if you mean it's you and you only who is responsible for your weight and long term health. Who or what else can it be? The point is you are eating too much for the amount of energy you use. Your 2 meals a day could be huge. We don't know.

Some people have fast metabolisms and can eat more and don't put on weight as easily. Others have slower metabolisms and have to eat accordingly.

I'm amazed you think that your weight is something you cannot influence.

Not sure about that Misti. Maybe it is worse in the US as I wore a size 4 in the 80s - I think that was the smallest size then. Now, whilst still being able to wear that size 4 skirt, I am now a 000 in today's clothes. Baffling!

Yanbu.

Slim people eat less than overweight people.......hold the front page!

It is extremely unfair that some people can stay slim even when eating what is objectively not the healthiest diet (eg me: so far today I've had two cups of strong coffee and a chocolate biscuit), whereas others struggle hugely despite making enormous efforts to eat well.

I try not to judge. Food is a hugely complex issue for many women and those of us who have escaped food and weight issues should be aware that it's mainly the luck of the draw - your life experiences, your body type, your metabolism, how you experience the physical sensation of hunger (I don't really get "hungry").

I think the two things that are most important in determining long term weight control (assuming you eat a reasonably balanced diet) are never excessively restricting your food intake (which builds up a huge psychological pressure to eat) and making sure that you do some exercise that maintains and if possible increases your muscle mass.

It seems unbearably unfair that fat people are held personally to blame, ridiculed and criticised and are assumed to habitually overeat, when it's clear that it's not a moral failing at all -- as is proved by the fact that most slim people don't even know the calorie content of anything and don't restrict themselves at all, eating according to appetite

I genuinely know pretty much nothing about calories but am slim and always have been. I eat well but exercise a lot. If I see I'm gaining weight I do more and maybe eat more healthily for a week or so.

I'm not saying you should be ridiculed and criticised, but you do overeat and you are personally to blame. I can't understand that you think you aren't to blame. Who do you think is? If you want to weigh less then you eat less and / or exercise more. Whole (don't know what it means in this case), fresh and home-cooked food, when you eat too much of it, will mean you maintain a high weight or even increase if the calories are higher than you're burning. People have different body shapes but none are "hugely overweight".

What exercise do you do?

I think the point is that some people who are slim do make an effort to eat healthily rather than dieting. I try not to eat cakes and biscuits- never eat crisps or sweets- and snack on nuts. This is partly about weight- I'm very slim but do put on weight easily- but it's also about sugar. You can be slim but sugar still causes inflammation in the arteries and will cause plaque build up in time, regardless of your weight.

Yanbu.
Slim people eat less than overweight people

But the OP is unreasonable in thinking all are "on a diet" or depriving themselves and going around hungry.

Curviest - it does seem unfair doesn't it.

People who are "naturally" slim refusing to believe that yes whilst diet and exercise play a part, there is likely to be some predisposition towards a certain body type which influences the whole thing .

I guess the thing is that in modern society we strive to thinness as the ultimate ideal, as opposed to having a healthy, strong body. As some of the thin people have demonstrated their daily diet is a lot less nutritious than say mine, but as their overall calorie intake is lower and therefore they look slimmer, society will judge them as being somehow better than those of us who are bigger.

Also and particularly on mumsnet, or perhaps this is also the case in real life and no one wants to say it to me, people seem to think that it's better i.e. healthier to be at the low end of the BMI range rather than at the top of healthy, whereas in reality I believe there is no difference and in fact having a BMI of 25-26 is supposed to be somewhat better for you than being right at the bottom.

Interesting thread. There's been lots of talk of metabolism and fat people blaming a slow metabolism and vice versa. That's been extensively debunked? www.nhs.uk/Livewell/loseweight/Pages/how-can-I-speed-up-my-metabolism.aspx

There is other research which I can't find that shows slim people overestimate how much they actually eat (oh I eat loads) and fat people underestimate how much they eat (I eat hardly anything).

My DH is in the latter camp and seems to think alcohol doesn't have any calories, nor leftovers from kids plates, or anything eaten straight from the fridge. The food he eats off a plate is all he counts in his head. He needs to lose 2 stone.

I'm a size 12/10 but before marriage and kids was an 8/6. People were always saying to me how come I was so slim when I was eating a fried breakfast in the work restaurant. But I'd only have a fried breakfast on a Friday and then it'd be small, not everyday. I'd eat a proper hot lunch too. But I didn't then have another meal in the evening, perhaps a sandwich or toast. Plus I went to the gym at least 3 times a week.

I've gained weight because I eat too much. My portion sizes have increased since I've been making family meals and buying crisps, biscuits and snacks. And the peri menopausal years don't help.

From memory, you only need to add something like 2 digestive biscuits daily to your diet to gain half a stone in a year if you don't increase your energy levels.

My car was recently in the garage and in a 48 hour period I walked 11 miles which was a real eye opener.

I've begun cutting down on food and snacks as I hate this weight gain that's crept up.

I might eat junk but I do more exercise than other people, so I'm thin. There's nothing special about it.

I can understand how hard it must be to lose weight if you are obese. But what has worked for me is to give myself a 'tolerance' range of 5-6 pounds and if I go above that, then I cut back for 3-4 weeks to lose it. I'm the same weight now as in my 20s and yes, it does take effort. I just don't eat what I'd really crave, or large portions. It is constant will power. I don't feel deprived though because I can live very happily on healthy food, with very few carbs.

I was a petite 6/8 since a teenager until age 25 and could eat and drink as much as I wanted of anything. I was very lucky indeed. After having a child my body and metabolism has changed and even though I weigh the same (fluctuate between 8-8.6st at 5ft 1) I am now a size 10 as my body has stretched out, wider hips, stomach and thighs that would take a lot of effort to lose I think.
Now I do put weight on if I am not a bit sensible I don't eat how I used to now but I have never dieted.

BillBryson, that's the other thing - whilst I've been sitting with the Lego, I would have found it incredibly easy to eat slice after slice of toast, or a few biscuits...I am very much a boredom eater! And then, it's crap weather so I'm more likely to take them to the soft play than the park so even the limited exercise of pushing them in a swing or playing chase slow enough for the toddler to catch me will be replaced by sitting and watching them on the soft play equipment. Again, I'd find it really easy to have a cappuccino and slice of cake whilst doing that. I'm not doing so because I'm really paying attention to what I'm eating just now, but I find the early years with children much easier to gain weight than lose, so I'm always surprised by people saying the opposite which happens frequently. But this thread has amply demonstrated that people are different!

Curviest

Unfortunately, if you are already obese, then you don't need that much to maintain your weight.

You would have to eat a lot less than already thinner people to reduce your weight.

"As some of the thin people have demonstrated their daily diet is a lot less nutritious than say mine, but as their overall calorie intake is lower and therefore they look slimmer, society will judge them as being somehow better than those of us who are bigger."

But quantity IS part of it isn't it. If someone overeats, that's not healthy.

curviest have you seen a GP and had tests to eliminate a medical cause for your obesity?