is this unfair or am i being unfair

[ghostspirit]

i have not spoken to bf about this yet. just wanted to know what people think before i do.

not this weekend but next i will be 38 weeks pregnant. baby is likely to be early and a fast birth. bf daughter who is in mid 20s has said can i borrow dad on that weekend. as she needs to get a brides maids fitting. which is a 90 min drive away from me. if i do go into labour then its not very likely he will get back in time. he missed out on our last babys birth because we were not together. and i think he should make the effort to be here for me and the baby when hes being born. but on the other hand i don't want to be the reason hes might be torn between me and his daughter.

she does drive herself but there is an issue with her brakes but she does not have the money to sort them. i said i could lend her the money. she said she dont know how much as she needs to take the car to the garage. and also im thinking if she cant use car why cant she just get the train. but as i said im not sure if im being selfish or not.... what do you think? also i have not spoken to bf yet. so just wondering what people think for now.

Tbh it sounds like your issue is more than him not going somewhere with his daughter.

I also think you need to be a lot more organised about childcare and your partner being by your side since you are expecting to go from being pregnant to having your baby within 90 mins.

Whilst I think YANBU to want your partner by your side for birth, I do think YABU to effectively be saying he can't be more than a few minutes away from you for anywhere up to a month.

ghost is he still living separately to you? What happens if you go into labour in the middle of the night?

If I were you I'd have a plan B both for you and the DC incase he isn't there.

Seems I was very wrong. He mentioned it before I did. Said his daughter had asked. And he said he told his daughter he could not do it. It's to close to birth. And when I said she had spoken to me he said oh did she now.

I have childcare arranged best I can.

littlemiss yeah we still living apart although he's here quite a lot. As I said I want him here but I don't need him here. So if something happened that he does not make it. Then I will manage as before. There's not much he can do really. Just nice if he was there in general.

It might be a good idea if he started staying the night from now on

I have 13 months between my 2 and 3 year olds. The 2 year old was 6 days late and none of the HCPs seemed to think that there was a correlation between small age gaps and early deliveries. I do appreciate there might be specifyc reasons for you though but just wanted to reassure you

Sounds like it's sorted then ghost? Hope it all goes well for you.

If her car is funked, then perhaps lend her your DH's car for the day? Insurance wouldn't be much, sounds like you don't need it to get to hospital... winners all round, surely?

your boyfriend needs to sort himself out