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AIBU?

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Original poster

To just call a fanny a fanny?

498 replies

teafortoads · 29/04/2016 08:34

Apologies if this has been done before/to death but i am new to this Mumsnet Lark (posting not lurking, I have happily lurked for years). What on earth word do you give to your toddler to describe their girl parts? I have and always will, have a fanny, where as I am aware of friends who have foofs, fairies (could cause some confusion when you go to put the fairy on top of the Christmas tree) lady gardens vulvas and so on. I see no reason to pretty things up, and always arrive back at good old trusty fanny in the end having massively overthunk things. When DD2 is a little bit older I will furnish her with all the proper words, but are fanny and willie (not that she will encounter any of THOSE until she is at least 40 given that I am a single Mum and our house is happily a man free zone nowadays, and boyfriends will not be permitted until she is at least 40) acceptable? Is fanny a bit coarse?

OP posts:
KondosSecretJunkRoom · 29/04/2016 10:04

Fanny is fine where I live and equivalent to willy.

All these 'front bottoms' seem a bit odd to me - when your children talk about boobs do you call them 'front backs' ?

Buckinbronco · 29/04/2016 10:04

But Mat by that argument you may as well just call it a cunt. Words are not created equal

HoundoftheBaskervilles · 29/04/2016 10:04

Think I X-posted with about a billion people there...

WhatWouldFlopDo · 29/04/2016 10:04

I caught myself saying "no DD, don't put body cream on your .... Wilma" the other day. There isn't an equivalent to willy really.

ShowOfHands · 29/04/2016 10:05

Again...WHY do you think Fanny is rude, vulgar, crass etc? Why

Because people use it to be rude, vulgar and crass. You might not but other people do. It's like cock or dick or prick or pussy. It's used solely as an insult in many areas or as a crude sexual term.

Furiosa · 29/04/2016 10:06

MattDillion It's just a regional thing. If I heard an American saying it I'd think they were talking about their bum. Any one else probably their vulva. In Scotland it's an insult.

If you've heard it as an insult most or all your life it might not be the word you'd use to call your or you children genitals.

Although I'm sure some Scottish people use fanny as a nick name for the genitals.

djini · 29/04/2016 10:07

'Bits' sounds vague and like you've forgotten the word or you're too embarrassed to say.

'Front bottom' is confusing and sounds like some thing you should go on Embarrassing Bodies about.

'Fanny' sounds really 80s to me, like calling someone a Wally or a berk.

We fudged it a bit with "private parts" at first but DD4 now insists its a Fudgina (based on conversations about how the new baby was going to come out of mummy's tummy).

When I grew up it was just 'bottom' though I lived with a girl at uni who insisted that in her bit of Derbyshire your fanjo was known as your Pam, which is why you'll never find someone called Pam in N Derbyshire. For some reason that stuck and I still refer to mine as 'my pam' now or in polite company, Pamela

MattDillonsPants · 29/04/2016 10:07

Buck...no...I'm comparing Willy and Fanny because they're nicknames which were coined at the same time...in the same era. WHY then is Willy ok but Fanny not?

Show...I don't use it at all actually but it's not a regional thing. Northerners have posted differing opinions on here.

honeylulu · 29/04/2016 10:10

djini - I've heard it called Pam/Pamela as well and I'm originally from Kent.

Buckinbronco · 29/04/2016 10:11

But what many people are saying is that willy and Fanny are not equal or equivalent words

Lessstressedhemum · 29/04/2016 10:11

Aye, it's definitely a nickname for genitals, but I could count on my fingers the number of times I've heard it used like that. It's an insult or provocation to fight - " come on, you fanny! D'ye think ye''re hard?" kind of thing.

WhatWouldFlopDo · 29/04/2016 10:12

I see fanny as being the same 'rudeness level' as dick, its regional I suppose.

soap34 · 29/04/2016 10:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaucyJack · 29/04/2016 10:13

But I'd say that Dick was crasser than Minnie, so I can't really get on board with your theory MD'sP.

itsonlysubterfuge · 29/04/2016 10:13

It's vagina and penis for DD.

We were at the zoo the other day and we were on the boat ride and my DH said to DD "Keep your hands, arms, legs, feet, and tails in the boat at all times" and DD replied with "Dad! I don't have a tail. Humans only have bottoms. And I also have a vagina." The young couple sitting behind us tried to cover their snorts of laughter.

MIL was taking DD to the toilet and said "Let me wipe your vagina" and an older lady in the stall next to her muttered loudly "The things people teach their kids these days!"

I just think you should do what's comfortable for you and your family.

Also, I'm American and fanny has always meant bottom. I was really embarrassed when I asked FIL about his fanny pack and he said "My what?!" Blush

RufusTheReindeer · 29/04/2016 10:14

My mum always used anatomical terms and dd knows them

Years ago I watched a few minutes of a documentary that happened to feature a porn director saying that he searched for girls withe a nice "woo woo"

The whole situation made me giggle and since then its been a woo woo or woo in this house

Plus it does make me laugh when we go to a bar as the default cocktail in many is a woo woo

BeaArthursUnderpants · 29/04/2016 10:15

American here. Derek unfortunately we suffer with the same conundrum. "Fanny" is slang for your bottom or butt, not vagina, and it's also actually an old-fashioned woman's name. I have friends who use various euphemisms like privates or front bum, but we just use penis and vagina. I know vagina isn't really anatomically accurate to describe the visible parts that are likely to get itchy or injured on a little girl, but vulva didn't seem right either unless I was ready to get into detail about labia (majora and minora of course), perineum, clitoris, and so on. It's a cross-cultural dilemma.

ShowOfHands · 29/04/2016 10:16

I don't know how to explain it to you then. If you don't understand that some people wield words in a way that renders them perjorative, I don't know what to say.

Word usage evolves. My grandma uses gay all the time. She describes my DS as gay. She doesn't have the slightest notion that it means homosexual as its primary meaning now.

It's about usage. And while people are saying it is offensive to me, it is an insult, they're offering you a choice. You can believe them and choose not to give offence or you can insist that because it wasn't that way in 1950, you refuse to accept it now.

Fanny is an insult. It shouldn't be. Neither should cunt or twat. It's a bloody awful indictment of our society that the words we use to insult are terms for female genitals. But insult they do.

Buckinbronco · 29/04/2016 10:16

Wiping your vagina is a strange thing to say though.

hefzi · 29/04/2016 10:17

In several scandi languages, you can say "mouse" - imagine the confusion that could cause in this country Grin!

As a child, I didn't have a separate word: it all came under the general term "bottom" if I remember right - I don't think, though, I ever needed to refer specifically to my snatch/twat/fanny/fanjo/minge/pussy/box/mouse etc. I think, too, that "fanny" is relatively recent in terms of being widely understood as part of the female anatomy - last 30 years or so? I wouldn't much like to hear it come out of a child's mouth even so, in the same way, I'd be a little surprised to hear them talk about their snatch/twat/minge/cunt/pussy etc And I have also never heard a child talk about their vulva: but variations of vagina (fudge-ina, pagina, magina etc) seem quite common, alongside the various more cutesy names.

In all honesty, I'm not sure it matters though Grin

BikeRunSki · 29/04/2016 10:18

In our house boys have willies and girls have wilmas.

EatShitDerek · 29/04/2016 10:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peggyundercrackers · 29/04/2016 10:23

im in Scotland and don't think fanny is that bad - it can be a term used to insult someone(ye fanny what are ye doin), it can be used as a term of endearment(how you doing ye fanny?), it can be used to describe your genitals(ive got an itchy fanny) - it has lots of uses...

havalina1 · 29/04/2016 10:26

I cannot bear foof I think it's revolting and abounds like hoof.

We say front bum bum. Again not perfect but it'll do for now!

HoundoftheBaskervilles · 29/04/2016 10:26

Yeah, 'Wiping your vagina' is a very strange thing to say because it's using anatomically correct terms in an incorrect way, a kind of confused half-way house which just sounds clunky and wrong.

Why can't you just say, 'Let me give you a wipe'?