To ask DD's teacher why I am not invited on school trips.

[crankyblob]

I have 4 DC in same school. All DC are doing very well, never been called in to discuss behaviour. Very positive reports etc.

I am a SAHM and naturally DC ask if I would go on school trip. I always offer and in 10 years have never been asked to go along. It is always the same parents who end up going and then a few others.

So I am starting to think it is me. I think I am presentable. I don't think I smell :) yet they always ask who wants to go and then pick other people.

So it has happened again and I am thinking of approaching the teacher to ask why!

is this a bad move? It is really bugging me,

I always get asked, I have dbs checked by both schools and with 3 kids with sn they know I can 'handle' some of the more spirited children.. School policy is that you don't get your own children in your group though. It is usually only the parents who go in and read/ help in class that get an invite to the trips. ) the children are usually comfortable with the adult there with all day....I am usually referred to as x and y mum ;-)

I think you need to volunteer in the school to do reading and all the nit gritty stuff . If you have been a parent for 10 years at the school are all yours school age now ?

Are you one of those parents?

Teachers will know what I mean.

Is it a PTA thing?

Are you around at pick up. Maybe the teachers just talk to who they can see?

Mardlebum
You sound like one of those teachers with a meany comment like that

As a teacher I would always choose parents who I think have the skills to control a group of children, act appropriately in a crisis, speak appropriately to the children about the subject of the trip, be assertive, be discreet etc. It would more likely be a parent I had got to know well, so maybe one who had helped in school etc.

I wouldn't choose a parent who was too anxious, too shy, too lenient, too shouty, too gossipy, too PFB, too bossy, too pushy, etc.

Hmmm .. I don't think it's right for teachers to choose people who help in other ways. This seems to be a way of enabling those cliquey parents who think they are best friends with the teachers and head, and whose kids don't get pulled up for bullying because of it. (Bitter experience disclaimer)
Give all parents a chance to help out if they offer.

School trips are stressful for teachers, and having adults they know they can rely on is paramount to the children's safety. Trying to manage the playground politics is most likely the last thing on a teacher's mind when she is organising a school trip. It's not about turn taking, parents don't have a right to go on a school trip, it's about giving the children the best experience, not the parents.

Or maybe I should thank god I am not invited, it means I don't have one of those kids

I have one of those kids, with particular needs. If I don't go on the school trips my dc can't go either. However we try not to advertise to other nosy parents why that is, so you'd probably assume I'm being invited for some other reason.
I'd love to swap, but thats not how it works.

Is there any chance that your DC would struggle with your being along? I am also presentable and don't smell but have never been on a trip with my eldest child because he has SN and can't cope with having me along - he gets confused about whether its me or the teachers who's in charge.

If not that, perhaps mention to the teacher that your DC has asked whether you can come along, and see what she says.

They never ask me to come but then it is because I am a teacher!!!!

I always get asked, and I think it is a combination of the fact I am DBS checked, used to work at the school for a while, (so I know all the children's names)don't work at all now and always do collection and drop off so I am "easy" to ask. That coupled with the fact that since doing the first school trip they know I'll turn up on time, do the job properly (i.e not teach the children swear words on the coach, not steal their lunch or sneak off for a gin and tonic at lunchtime) and they just think of me because I did it before. Cant' think of any other reason why the might always ask me.

I could do without it really. Last time someone sent their child in with a plastic lunchbox, and I felt sorry for her having to carry it around all afternoon so I put it in my handbag and now my handbag STILL stinks of fridgey lunchboxy smell which I hate. Grrr.

If you have 4 DC, maybe they are worried you will pull out at short notice due to one being ill?

Also, going on a trip isn't a 'jolly' for the parents, it is to help with children's safety and to help them get the most from the trips.

I go on quite a few trips for my DD's class and others. I suspect I am considered a safe pair of hands as I know how they organise themselves, know how they do road crossings, understand the child protection arrangements etc. I also never have my DD in my group at my request. Some trips are enjoyable, others are more stressful. But I focus on the job in hand, not chatting to my child or other parent-helpers.

I never volunteered at my ds's old primary school, but I did get asked regularly. I would often say no and when asked if I had something on I would just say that I didn't want to do it.

I still used to get asked and did one or two classes, sewing etc. I am quite a no-nonsense character so it came as no surprise when I was asked to work with a child who was a little challenging to be polite. I actually really enjoyed this and surprised myself. I didn't mind them re-arranging my face and hair (gently) but drew the line at TMI about what daddy did last night! I even got a lovely thank you letter from the child.

The hardest thing for me was not openly laughing at the teacher who went from 0-10 in seconds and had a strange, high pitched screamy voice which made my shoulders shake with laughter. The same scream that I told my kids surely could not be happening!

It does seem unusual not to be asked and perhaps you could have a quiet word with the teacher. Beware though, perhaps it is a lucky escape.

Schools don't have to pay for DBS checks for parents - you don't pay for volunteers.