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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To demand people keep their dogs away from me on the seafront

999 replies

TigerPath · 29/04/2016 07:16

I'm sick of random dogs coming up to sniff me and DS or getting under my feet. All dogs make me nervous even small ones. And I hate it when they cock their leg on my pram wheels Angry

So now when a dog comes up to me or just before it reaches me I shout to the owner (politely but firmly) 'please keep your dog away from me/my pram'
Most oblige but a number are rude! Yesterday a woman retorted crossly 'but it's the sea-front'. I replied 'they should be on leads' and got a mouthful of abuse. There is a bloody great sign saying 'dogs should be on leads on the promenade'!! I wouldn't care if people kept them to heel but I don't want them touching me, my pram or tripping me up Angry

AIBU??

OP posts:
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12
IrianofWay · 04/05/2016 14:18

Yes I do. Under almost all circumstances he would simply walk past a stranger without giving them a second glance.

The problem is when you say things like "... I don't tolerate them causing a nuisance, upsetting people.... ' I am not sure what you mean. It's vague. For me a dog is rarely a nuisance or upsetting because I like them and am not afraid. A dog could jump up at me and I usually wouldn't be bothered. I suspect you would be - and I also suspect that if he got too close to you you would be distressed. I would draw the line at being growled at, chased or bitten - that is what would constitute upset or nuisance for me. You would probably draw the line a lot sooner.

Where would the average population draw the line? I guess I am suggesting that it would be hard to define dog-related 'nuisance' or 'upset' across the board. Hence owners get accused of being careless and irresponsible because they don't realise that a proportion of the population find the mere presence of their dogs upsetting.

IrianofWay · 04/05/2016 14:24

I agree farrow. My experiences are largely like that. The only dog-related drama was when I was roundly abused for running along a quiet track with my dog off-lead but next to me and a man cycled past with his dog on a lead. He was angry because my dog kept looking at his dog _ I kid you not. His dog was dog-aggressive and he was afraid my dog would prompt his to attack and haul him off his bike. He screamed and swore at me and then kept stopping to stare back and see if I was still on the track behind him. His dog was perfectly calm and my dog wasn't interested.

AppleSetsSail · 04/05/2016 14:37

I suspect the problems tend to be concentrated in urban park areas rather than running/cycling paths. The former attracts a less savoury crowd than the latter - you very rarely see joggers with problematic dogs.

IrianofWay · 04/05/2016 14:52

I must admit I assumed most problems are in busier areas. I live on the edge of a town - but have easy access to canal and field paths.

bigbuttons · 04/05/2016 14:53

farrow glad you had 2 great walks, but your experiences do not prove the idea that people aren't frequently hassled by dogs.
Whenever I am hassled ( remember I live in shitsville ) I take great pleasure in completely ignoring the dogs who run up to me. It confuses their owners no end; they find it hard to believe that their dogs aren't the centre of everyone's universe, again probably why there is so much dogshit around here.

merrymouse · 04/05/2016 14:57

I don't generally encounter nuisance dogs either. However I do sometimes encounter nuisance dog owners and a glance at the doghouse board shows that I'm not alone. People aren't complaining about well behaved dogs, they are complaining about irresponsible owners.

It is irrelevant and just plain wrong to suggest that there are no irresponsible dog owners. These

AppleSetsSail · 04/05/2016 14:58

Adult dogs, in my experience, do pretty much ignore humans. Are you talking about puppies, bigbuttons?

merrymouse · 04/05/2016 14:59

Oops... these owners aren't just lazy and bad, they are owners who can't seem to get it through their heads that it is their responsibility to control their dog.

FarrowandBallAche · 04/05/2016 15:15

Bigbuttons I prefer it that people don't fuss the dogs if I'm honest. In reality we get stopped on most walks by people asking about them. Wanting to stroke them etc which is fine as they are placid and don't mind it and I must point out that most of the people that fuss them aren't dog owners.

A million miles away from what's being portrayed in this thread.

VictoriaRoses · 04/05/2016 15:17

I remember walking home from secondary school on my own and a Dulux dog came bounding up to me out of nowhere and jumped up at me. I froze and the owner said 'he's just playing' I don't care if he is trying to play, he really scared meSad
My ILs have a staffy and a jack Russell/staffy, both very well trained, terribly soft and have never jumped up at me.

bigbuttons · 04/05/2016 15:48

farrow it is most likely that they older puppies/ younger dogs, yes

bigbuttons · 04/05/2016 15:49

Sorry, that reply should have been for apple

Lemonade1 · 04/05/2016 15:50

It doesn't matter how much the dog owners protest, the same infuriating attitudes still prevail.

The people who are fearful of dogs or who simply don't like dogs are sneered at and looked down on.

As a PP said, it is not a moral failing not to like dogs.

I am absolutely aghast and furious at the poster who was actually angry - angry - with the toddler screaming at their dog and the accompanying parent looking stricken with arms outstretched. Said parent didn't even actually say or do anything to the dog owner!

How bloody obtuse, how insensitive, how cruel do you have to be to not realise a deep seated terror or phobia when you see one??

I am also aghast (though seen it said on all dog threads) that dog owners actually think that dog dislikers should have therapy to get over their fears. No just keep your dogs on leads and far away from me.

And yes go ahead with your hilarious pictures and jokes about your 'toddler killer dogs/beast of a dog'. To me and many others your dogs are horrible and potentially dangerous, no matter how adorable you think they are.

glassgarden · 04/05/2016 15:58

is this the longest running dog thread?

FarrowandBallAche · 04/05/2016 16:07

There is a difference between a true dog phobia and just not tolerating the air they breathe.

Huge difference.

There have been posters on this thread who have a genuine fear for numerous reasons but the majority ( as in the case of most dog threads ) don't want them walking near them, they are outraged if a dog comes over for a sniff or God forbid a pat on the head.

People need to lighten up. We all have to put up with things in life that we aren't keen on.

NeedACleverNN · 04/05/2016 16:25

I am absolutely aghast and furious at the poster who was actually angry - angry - with the toddler screaming at their dog and the accompanying parent looking stricken with arms outstretched. Said parent didn't even actually say or do anything to the dog owner!

This was me actually.

I didn't say I was angry, I said I was annoyed. Big difference. I was annoyed because it was a complete over reaction since we were at the other end of a field!! Which would have taken even my dogs a good 40 seconds to run over there at high speed. I also never said it was a toddler either. If you must know it was a child around 10.

Lemonade1 · 04/05/2016 16:29

It's not a bloody overreaction when you are dog phobic, terrified of dogs or been attacked before by a dog - and yes despite the scoffing and rolled eyes it does happen!

Sorry if I got the facts wrong though, I didn't go back to look at your post.

NeedACleverNN · 04/05/2016 16:32

I would agree it wasn't an over reaction if we were near someone who was frightened. Or if my dogs were close by them.

But we was no where near. And my dogs paid no attention to them until he began to scream.

They then turned round and took about 5 steps in their direction. This is when the mother then stood in front of the child with her arms out stretched. Not exasperated but with an expression of fury.

I called my dogs who immediately came away.

Lemonade1 · 04/05/2016 16:33

Yes I do 'lighten up' as in I don't scream and shout if I see a dog. Or swear at the owner or even talk to the owner!

But if your dog is running towards me or just not on a lead, I start shaking, heart pounding, sweating and dog owners telling me to get a grip or that it's an overreaction... it just reinforces what my experience tells me. You simply can't see past your own devotion to dogs, you just can't see it for what it is. So please just keep your dogs near you at all times and don't let them run towards or jump up at people.

Again, as many have said, if I had a pound for every dog owner that said 'don't worry he's friendly/won't hurt' when it's licked me or jumped up then (considering I'm an old fart of 52) I'd be sunning myself in Barbados right now.

FarrowandBallAche · 04/05/2016 16:35

But the dogs off lead walking past are ok yes?

WaitrosePigeon · 04/05/2016 16:36

Look how horrible he is! Disabled gob and all Grin

To demand people keep their dogs away from me on the seafront
NeedACleverNN · 04/05/2016 16:37

So you would go to a field where dogs are commonly walked, enter it by an entrance at the other end, see someone approaching the exit with two dogs who was walking just ahead and then scream irrationally thus causing the dogs to suddenly turn round and attempt to find out what the noise is?

Somehow I don't think so.

Original poster
TigerPath · 04/05/2016 16:43

Irian, it's hard to say where I draw the line because it varies according to situation and the type/size of dog. If I have DS in the pram or baby-carrier, I don't want any dogs coming up to us, it is a nuisance, I am on edge in case they start jumping up.
Eg Recently an old, calm basset hound wandered up to me outside a cafe. It sat and watched me drink my coffee. Didn't bother me, as its size and demeanour wasn't at all threatening.
A Rottweiler/Doberman/other big powerful dog running around the park makes me very nervous, particularly if the park is quiet. If they approach me I feel sick with fear. I take a different route through the park to try and avoid them but they often chase each on and off the paths so end up bounding towards me, sometimes stopping to sniff me. I freeze until they go away and shout to the owner to control them if owner is near.

Last week someone was trying to tie a huge mastiff/husky cross up outside Tesco. It was barking, growling and pulling back (presumably didn't want to be tied up). Nobody wanted to pass it to get into the shop! They were all waiting nervously outside for the owner to finish tying it up. Completely selfish and inappropriate to bring a dog of that size and temperament into a public place.

I don't think it is EVER appropriate for big muscular dogs to be off the lead in public. If you want to own that type of dog, exercise it on your own private land. If you don't have your own land, get a different type of dog that you have the resources to cater for. Don't inflict it on everyone else trying to enjoy the park/beach/promenade.

OP posts:
FarrowandBallAche · 04/05/2016 16:44

I would have been annoyed at someone shouting at my dogs in those circs too!!

Lemonade1 · 04/05/2016 16:44

And here we go again Waitrose with the hilarious 'look at my killer dog'...

NN - I have literally done that. BUT big fat BUT...it was a big rottweiler-y dog, one of those big muscly dogs (no I don't know exactly what it was, yes I am totally prejudiced about certain breeds - mainly because of the owners round my way).

The owners had it off a lead and it was way across the field. I didn't scream or shout until it started running towards me. Then I just kind of whimpered and half ran (I do have to admit here I must have looked quite funny). The owners clearly had little control as they did not sound calm as they shouted for it to come back more and more frantically and loudly. The dog, thank fuck, got distracted by another dog, and I ran into the woods to the side..

So no I don't go to those fields anymore even though one of my daughters plays her sport there. I don't fucking trust some dogs and some dog owners. So I avoid. I also avoid certain roads and areas where I live (London) as I know there are dogs off leads.