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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To demand people keep their dogs away from me on the seafront

999 replies

TigerPath · 29/04/2016 07:16

I'm sick of random dogs coming up to sniff me and DS or getting under my feet. All dogs make me nervous even small ones. And I hate it when they cock their leg on my pram wheels Angry

So now when a dog comes up to me or just before it reaches me I shout to the owner (politely but firmly) 'please keep your dog away from me/my pram'
Most oblige but a number are rude! Yesterday a woman retorted crossly 'but it's the sea-front'. I replied 'they should be on leads' and got a mouthful of abuse. There is a bloody great sign saying 'dogs should be on leads on the promenade'!! I wouldn't care if people kept them to heel but I don't want them touching me, my pram or tripping me up Angry

AIBU??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
JeanGenie23 · 02/05/2016 09:37

shining I run alone, in parks, along the canal, across the marshes and along roads. I do tend to run after 6pm but I have never ever been approached. Hence my comment that I think some posts have been exaggerated. However I have also since posted that I wonder if people are exaggerating out of fear and misinterpretating as opposed to being goady.

I don't know but my experience is at total odds with what I have read in these 23 pages, and I find it hard to believe that my experience is the unusual one.

merrymouse · 02/05/2016 09:38

What is wrong with the world that people would be up in arms and so out out by a dog sniffing them?

It's a world where polite and responsible dog owners make it possible for dogs to be off lead because they don't allow their dogs to go where they aren't welcome, whether that's approaching another dog, running up to a small child or just approaching somebody who doesn't like dogs.

Why is that a problem? Dogs with the necessary level of recall to enable them to be off lead won't approach other people. Why would you want your dog to go where it wasn't wanted?

Often the people who are going to be most annoyed by a badly controlled dog are other dog walkers, not 'dog haters'.

dudsville · 02/05/2016 09:39

I've just perused this thread for the first time.

We live in the world with others. It is not of my making and I do not control it. We all need to afford the other a little space to do their thing, whether we dislike it or disapprove of it, and where traumatic past experiences are triggered by factors beyond your control they cannot be kept in check by eliminating triggers, that reinforces the problem. Triggers will always be beyond your control, they are managed through working on your response to the trigger and the initial trauma, not through controlling the external environment.

merrymouse · 02/05/2016 09:42

Shining is right though. A nice friendly comment should be the reason that you allow your dog to approach somebody, not the reason you call them away. The default should be that your dog doesn't approach.

If that isn't what you meant, it would make more sense just to say that.

wibblewobble8 · 02/05/2016 09:43

This thread is fucking funny. Do many entitled people. And I'm not just talking about dog owners. If the sign says dogs on lead then dogs should be on a lead. But dogs are entitled to have some free roaming time. No wonder there is animal abuse when so many people has such low opinions of animals. Maybe there needs to be a fairer distribution of animal free places and places where pet owners can go unhindered by those who don't want to be around them.

Kidsrulethishouse · 02/05/2016 09:44

There's a lady that lives on the road my daughters school is on that always has her Labrador out off a lead just sitting on the pavement unattended when we are going to and from school. It drives me crazy! She says he is friendly but I've seen him snap at children before, my daughters friend reached out to stroke him the other day when she was behind him and he snapped at her. (Of course she shouldn't have but she's 3 and obviously doesn't know better!)You can't be certain that he won't hurt anyone and you can't be certain that no one is going to hurt/annoy him! Plus it's a busy road.

WolfAlice · 02/05/2016 09:47

Wibble - well said. Although I do think for some people the animals themselves are fairly innocuous. It's owners who think their pet is some kind of spiritual beast of wonder and everyone should be clambering to crawl up its arse that irritate

Shining12 · 02/05/2016 09:48

I think some dog owners are in love with their pets in a way that is more intense than the love they feel for partners and children and this stops them thinking rationally about the animal.
They cant imagine that to other people it is nothing more than an annoyance

FarrowandBallAche · 02/05/2016 09:48

Did you tell that lab owner Kids what you saw?

Shining12 · 02/05/2016 09:50

animal free places I don't think there are any?

tilder · 02/05/2016 09:51

I agree farrow. The labs owner needs to know. A child being bitten is horrible for the child. Can be terminal for the dog. The parent and dog owner need to be better aware.

FarrowandBallAche · 02/05/2016 09:51

I do love my dogs that is true but nothing in comparison to my husband and children. Absurd comment.

tilder · 02/05/2016 09:58

shining most children's play parks and many beaches during the bathing season are designated dog free.

merrymouse · 02/05/2016 09:58

Merry this thread moved on since the OP when dog owners were agreeing with her.

I have read all the OP's posts and her argument hasn't really changed - don't let your dog approach somebody without clear permission. There are also threads and threads on the doghouse board where people complain about dogs and children approaching their dogs.

It really is pretty clear - don't assume that your dog is welcome to approach others, and don't assume that a dog is happy to be approached. You always need to have the eye contact/exchange of body language/conversation with the owner first.

There is no need to have any disagreement with anybody about your dog if you just keep it under your clear control at all times. If you can't control a dog off lead, keep it on lead. If neither is acceptable to you, get a goldfish.

MammaBean1988 · 02/05/2016 10:00

I love dogs and you ANBU, all pets are their owners' responsibility and i would be so ashamed and embarrassed if a dog in my care was bothering any member of the public, doubly so if there's a baby/child/pram involved.

Some people are just a**eholes though, regardless of their dogs, cats, children, or cars.

Slowlygettingthehangofthings · 02/05/2016 10:00

Shining unfortunately where I live more and more places are banning dogs ( although you still get the odd entitled owner who barges in ignoring the signs and gets upset when wardens ask them to leave ). For me it is great as I don't have to worry about the buggy wheels going through poop but for responsible dog owners it is a real shame. However, as posters such as farrow, kali and waitrose have so nicely demonstrated, some dog owners are incapable of any sort of consideration for fellow users of these spaces and so blanket bans have become necessary. A real shame.

wibblewobble8 · 02/05/2016 10:00

I suppose i meant dog free. And these do exist, because ive seen no dogs allowed signs (usually in parks) and i live the back end of nowhere in Scotland so assume that the bigger cities must have some too. But more of both would maybe keep everyone happy.

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 02/05/2016 10:02

The maths of this thread is baffling me. We see more dogs than we have ever seen out and about with families and children, so I guess more people own and like dogs. Reading this thread (certainly the early part of it) it seems the majority of people categorically do not like and even hate dogs. And animals in general really. (as an aside it makes me :o at the number of MNers who seem to think that humans should be the only creature with any rights at all)

So do I conclude that the proportion of dog haters in the MN demographic is much greater than in RL?

Just musing....

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 02/05/2016 10:03

That should have been a shocked face rather than a grin. I don't find it funny at all.

Rosebud05 · 02/05/2016 10:05

I absolutely agree merrymouse.

I also find the 'it's you that has the problem if you don't like my dog sniffing you' attitude difficult to understand.

I have no problem at all with spiders, insects, birds, snakes, rodents and lots of other things that many people are scared of.

I wouldn't dream of wafting one of these beasts close to them and telling them that they have a problem that needs addressing. Nor would I disbelieve their experiences with these animals. Nor would I mock their fear or distaste.

MrsBee23 · 02/05/2016 10:07

People with prams are the entitled folk. And I say that as one of them. Also a dog owner. Although unsurprisingly I have far less sense of entitlement when I'm walking a dog and carrying around a bag of his steaming shit, than I do when I have a pram in front of me.

NeedACleverNN · 02/05/2016 10:17

I worked in a rescue centre for a year and some dogs came in very traumatised.
Can you guess how many times I've been bitten whilst working there?

Once. Just once. And it was a little snappy thing

honkinghaddock · 02/05/2016 10:19

Some people (children and adults) can behave unpredictably or not understand how to behave around dogs. Dog owners should bear that in mind when they allow their dog to sniff people or go out of sight when they are off lead.

FarrowandBallAche · 02/05/2016 10:26

Your conclusion is right Sukey.

magratvonlipwig · 02/05/2016 10:28

YANBU
Signs or not, all owners should be able to bring their dogs to heel. And dogs which are not trained or cant behave in public spaces or crowds should stay on a lead.

I too get very nervy round dogs. I hate it when im waliking on the common and a friendly dog rushes up to me. I hate it even more when owner of said dog shouts "its ok, hes just being friendly" as i clearly back off and tuck my hands up to my chest so the dog cant lick me, its obvious i dont like it, and the owner smiles indulgently as the mutt puts its paws on my legs and tries to snuffle my crotch.

It so bloody isnt ok!

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