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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To demand people keep their dogs away from me on the seafront

999 replies

TigerPath · 29/04/2016 07:16

I'm sick of random dogs coming up to sniff me and DS or getting under my feet. All dogs make me nervous even small ones. And I hate it when they cock their leg on my pram wheels

So now when a dog comes up to me or just before it reaches me I shout to the owner (politely but firmly) 'please keep your dog away from me/my pram'
Most oblige but a number are rude! Yesterday a woman retorted crossly 'but it's the sea-front'. I replied 'they should be on leads' and got a mouthful of abuse. There is a bloody great sign saying 'dogs should be on leads on the promenade'!! I wouldn't care if people kept them to heel but I don't want them touching me, my pram or tripping me up

AIBU??

OP posts:

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Rosebud05 · 02/05/2016 08:26

Me too Misti. I turn back or change my route when I see an off lead dog and can't see the owner to reduce the risk of incident.

It's the reason that I avoid woodland trails and other areas that are popular with dog walkers.

merrymouse · 02/05/2016 08:26

I have a dog and I have certainly been approached by annoying dogs who clearly aren't under the control of their owner.

I'm not talking about dangerous dogs, just dogs that are a bit 'Fenton' and don't have good enough recall to be off lead in the circumstances.

Sometimes they are a bit growly (terriers doing their terrier thing), and sometimes they just want to walk with my dog and ignore their owner, which means I have to backtrack and return them. None of this is life threatening, just plain rude because the dog owner has made their dog my responsibility.

People's reactions to dogs really shouldn't be a problem for dog owners. An off lead dog should have been called to heel before it starts annoying people.

Lighteningirll · 02/05/2016 08:28

I run, I've had dogs join me for brief patches but I've never in twenty years had one run at me, or be aggressive so I think it's perspective. If you are nervous or frightened then a happy, normal, exuberant friendly dog is seen as running at you. I've walked miles with prams and buggies in very doggy areas and never had on wee on the buggy or pram, again it's perspective. My latest ddog is a very small crossbreed who adores children and spends most of his life being picked up by random children whose parents occasionally ask if it's ok. I am really happy that the world me and ddog live in is totally unlike the one on this thread.

FarrowandBallAche · 02/05/2016 08:29

Rose I'm actually saddened by the fact you don't walk in woodland trails because you might meet a dog off lead. You need to tackle this fear because it is out of control.

When I'm walking in remote areas I'm more worried about some weirdo attacking not a dog, that wouldn't enter my head.

Rosebud05 · 02/05/2016 08:34

I don't run in woodland trails *farrow". I walk in them regularly.

What do you mean by 'some weirdo'?

WolfAlice · 02/05/2016 08:34

The sad fact a dog in their life might make them less uptight and rigid in their thoughts

See, this is the kind of stuff I struggle to understand. And I'm not trying to be goady, I mean I genuinely don't get it.

Dogs aren't some higher deity. A dog isn't going to magically enrich my life because I don't find them appealing or endearing at all and have no desire to own one. I don't hate dogs as I don't hate any animal. I just don't wish to own one and never will. If I wanted something drooly that can't do anything without waiting for my say so I have a one year old for that (DH)

Dogs are like children. Nobody is ever as interested in yours as you think they are. I keep my children under control because I don't expect people to enjoy their many interesting qualities the way I do. Animal owners should do the same. It's just respect for those around you.

merrymouse · 02/05/2016 08:36

It doesn't have to be fear though - sometimes out of control dogs are just really, really annoying.

A dog shouldn't be off lead unless it is under control. A dog that can't be prevented from approaching people or animals is not under control.

tilder · 02/05/2016 08:38

Blimey. This thread has really moved on, hasn't it? The levels of intolerance being shown are quite staggering.

Next time I walk my friends dog, I will be aware of the level of antagonism that may face us.

Next time I walk with my children, I will bear in mind the fear that dogs bring (caused by separate incidents 2 years ago and which we are still working on) is all my fault and my child's fault and dog owners do not need to be aware of that fear or react differently.

Ffs. If we are all this intolerant of each other, maybe none of us should be walking around.

FarrowandBallAche · 02/05/2016 08:38

You said you avoid woodland trails.

' Some weirdo ' as in being attacked by someone. As let's face you've more chance of that out in some remote area alone than being attacked by some strange dog.

FarrowandBallAche · 02/05/2016 08:40

Wolf with respect you cannot know what it's like to have a dog if you don't.

totalrecall1 · 02/05/2016 08:41

I do get what they are trying to say Wolf. A fear of dogs to the degree some people are displaying here is an actual phobia. Its like saying you won't get on a plane in case it crashes, sometimes doing a flying course will cure this. The likelihood of being bitten by a random dog is minimal. I was exactly like this, then I got a dog. Now I am still wary, but I no longer have a real phobia. I have respect for people who don''t like or don't want a dog, and I would keep my dog away from walkers, bikers etc and call him to heel, ,not because he will jump but incase they are concerned (they have no reason to be but I understand some people are nervous). , but having restrict dogs with muzzles, and wearing leads in fields etc due to peoples unfounded phobia is wrong. And that is their problem not mine or my dogs.

merrymouse · 02/05/2016 08:42

farrow, some people just find dogs a bit irritating and would rather not be near them. This shouldn't be a problem for any responsible dog owner because their dogs won't be approaching random strangers.

JeanGenie23 · 02/05/2016 08:44

tilder thankfully no one is as rude in RL as they are on mn.

WolfAlice · 02/05/2016 08:46

But that's exactly what I mean. What makes you think if I owned a dog that I would be instantly converted? Nobody does this with other animals, just dogs. That's the part I don't understand.

It's very fashionable these days to proclaim how much you hate small children. I don't take it as a personal affront to my child. I worship the ground my daughter walks on but toddlers can be arseholes. I can COMPLETELY see why someone would never want one. Why can't dog owners do the same.

By that argument anyone who doesn't want children can't possibly know that because they have never had one. And we all know the reaction that would get

Mistigri · 02/05/2016 08:46

' Some weirdo ' as in being attacked by someone. As let's face you've more chance of that out in some remote area alone than being attacked by some strange dog.

Huh? I ride every week on a long-distance cycle path that is also popular, in parts, with walkers and their dogs. The chances of me being attacked by a random weirdo are close to zero. The chances of me having a dog under my bike wheels or snapping at my ankles are rather higher than that. Most owners, thankfully, are considerate and hold their dogs at heel if they are likely to get inexplicably excited by passing middle-aged cyclists .

FarrowandBallAche · 02/05/2016 08:47

It is about respect Wolf you're right.
I am thoughtful when out walking with my dogs and I wouldn't put them above others in certain situations ie approaching young children ( I put them back on the lead ) or when I see a jogger or a cyclist ( I call them to heel ) or if we see a tiny puppy ( I call them back until I know if the owner wants us to approach ) they are always on a lead in built up areas such as a park full of people, the beach, walking though a town or village.

BUT they have the right to enjoy their life and that means running off lead when it's safe to do so.

FarrowandBallAche · 02/05/2016 08:48

Mistigri im talking about walking alone in remote secluded areas.

Rosebud05 · 02/05/2016 08:48

Indeed Jean. I can't remember hearing someone using the term 'weirdo' in RL, but it seems perfectly acceptable on this thread.

FarrowandBallAche · 02/05/2016 08:49

Doesn't it just.

JeanGenie23 · 02/05/2016 08:50

I have previously said that posters have exaggerated Their experience to be goady, but perhaps they have just misinterpretated it because of their fear...

I am a park runner I have never been approached.
I am also out everyday with my DD and we have never been run at, even yesterday whilst we had our picnic, dogs were around but didn't come towards us. Perhaps if I was scared I would have seen it happen differently...

Either way in RL I hope people can assess what's a real danger and not, much more than they seem to be able to on mn

WolfAlice · 02/05/2016 08:51

Total - I agree. I have no issue with people having dogs off leash of those dogs are controlled appropriately. It's not even the dogs fault poor sods, I'm not a dog lover in particular but in general they are fairly harmless in my experience.

Unfortunately it's some dog owners who think their dog is so precious they don't have to respect anyone else around them. This tars people like you with the same brush and it's unfair. And that's all it comes down to - respect.

FarrowandBallAche · 02/05/2016 08:53

Merry it depends what you mean by irritating? I think by some of the comments on this thread ' irritating ' might mean a dog walks too close or God forbid sniffs you. If that is actually irritates someone I'd say they have far bigger problems in their life than said dog walking too close.

Mistigri · 02/05/2016 08:53

im talking about walking alone in remote secluded areas.

But why are you talking about this? It seems to be in response to Rose, who referred to "woodland trails" popular with dog walkers, not to secluded areas. Ypu suggested she was more at risk from "weirdos" than from dogs, which is a weird thing to say as well as plainly untrue.

Original poster

TigerPath · 02/05/2016 08:57

You need to tackle this fear because it is out of control

What an arrogant response. Blaming other people for being frightened of your off-lead dogs, who you say upthread are 'a large intimidating breed'!
YOU know they are well-trained and won't attack, the person encountering them doesn't. You feel 'saddened' that people are afraid to enjoy the countryside yet you are one of the people spoiling it for others!
Phobias aside, most people would feel anxious when a strange Rottweiler/Doberman/Mastiff is racing towards them across a field. What if someone started running and screaming, would your dogs give chase? Are you 100% sure you can recall them? If you choose to own big powerful breeds you have a responsibility to keep them under control at all times and a safe distance from people. Clearly you have no consideration for others' feelings if you let them off in parks and on public footpaths. Much easier to blame people for being afraid isn't it?

What if your dog was suddenly scared, hurt, felt threatened or had a partial seizure that affected it's brain. You can never be 100% sure they won't hurt someone. They are still animals, with a strong instinct to chase and hunt down prey. Training doesn't wipe out instinct or make any dog completely trustworthy.

OP posts:

PovertyPain · 02/05/2016 08:57

Farrow It looks like you'd be better saying nothing, as you're getting jumped on for every comment you make. I think if you said it was going to rain, you'd get accused of saying it was snowing.

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