Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to complain about daughters teacher

62 replies

user5512343212 · 28/04/2016 17:38

My daughter suffers from some serious medical conditions meaning she can be sick up to 20x a day. Her pervious teacher was very good allowing her to get up and leave the classrooms as and when she needed. She also used to take mints in as she had a few comments from other children about smelly breath.
When she moved year group in September I spoke to the teacher hoping the same care would continue. He straight away refused her to take mints in saying it would upset other children and wasn't promoting healthy eating. I brushed it under the carpet and didn't want to cause a fuss and thought I would raise the situation again if needed. I hoped she would still leave the classroom when she needed as this is what he agreed.
I have recently found out that he isn't letting my daughter leave the classroom as and when she needs saying it is to disruptive and as other children thought it was unfair. Meaning she is swallowing her sick.
Aibu in thinking this is special circumstances and he is being very unfair and unkind.
My daughter has also commented on how she thinks her teacher doesn't like her.

OP posts:
Witchend · 28/04/2016 17:59

Genuine question though. How can you swallow sick? I mean when I've been sick I couldn't, my body just wants to get it out. I had times when vomiting in pregnancy that I really didn't want to be suck there and clamped my mouth shut and it would just spray out (sorry) It made it worse not better.
And I'd have thought the retching noise was risking it setting other children off too. (( thinking of a rather revolting school trip I once did)

Pilgit · 28/04/2016 18:00

What a dick! YANBU! I would speak to the head and follow up with an email after. If you get no joy go to the chair of governors. In the meantime send her in with a supply of sick bags.

I bet her classmates know all about it and don't give a monkeys. Poor little thing.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/04/2016 18:01

I would ask him if he'd prefer you to send her in with a handful of nappy sacks to use as sick bags, that she would have to pass them to him once she'd used them!

Original poster
user5512343212 · 28/04/2016 18:02

When she moved to his class in September we spoke about her health care needs and he seemed well informed from previous teacher.
The reason the other teacher agreed that she could just leave the classroom without asking is that it was more disruptive her trying to ask each time with a mouthful of sick.
I am going to make an appointment tomorrow with the ht and just raise my concerns. I do not find her teacher that approachable so don't want it to get brushed under the carpet.

OP posts:
Original poster
user5512343212 · 28/04/2016 18:06

Witchend

It only ever a mouthful of sick, well most of the time. It's something she has been dealing with for over three years. She is able to manage it very well.
I have witnessed her swallowing her own sick (when she is being to lazy to go to the bathroom at home) I have spoken to her about this and explained it could do more damage. I think this is why it has taken her so long to tell me what is going on as she is not particularly bothered that she has to swallow it.

OP posts:
Kariana · 28/04/2016 18:08

I'm glad you're speaking to the Head, this is completely ridiculous on the teacher's part. My only worry is that your dd will now never feel comfortable leaving the classroom even if given permission. You need to make it clear to the Head that you expect him/her to personally sit down with your dd and the teacher and tell her it's okay to leave the room. It may sound extreme but any other way and you risk her not changing her behaviour as she will continue to worry.

It's completely horrible her teacher has put her in this position and I hope you get it resolved.

HeffalumpHistory · 29/04/2016 19:59

Hope you managed to make an appointment & the ht will see you asap. Your poor dd!

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 29/04/2016 20:06

My dd pukes numerous times a day, small amounts, and is good at swallowing it.

But no way should a teacher be stopping her leaving if she needs to leave. Go to the head.

StepintotheLightleave · 29/04/2016 20:26

how bizzare, she has a medical condition backed up with letters from medical proffs, i mean whats NOT to complain about?

The first time my DD mentioned something like this I would be straight in now.

SquinkiesRule · 29/04/2016 21:15

Ds used to vomit frequently when he was younger, he'd get up and run for the toilet or bin. (teachers always had bin liners in and knew he'd do it on their feet if he had no where to go. He even ran for the big food bin in the dining room a few times, no one took notice kids went on as usual and the teachers supported him.
Please complain, her being worried about it makes the vomiting worse, and swallowing it can damage her esophagus The gastrologist told him to just let it go. Not sure what you Dd has, but Ds grew out of it eventually. Had resurgence of it at 13 after getting a stomach bug and it settled and hasn't come back since.

nonicknameseemsavailable · 29/04/2016 22:56

that is shocking treatment - DD1 had reflux until the age of 7 but luckily tended to only suffer after hot food which meant it wasn't a problem at school if she had packed lunches.

Sounds like either the teacher hasn't been told exactly the situation/hasn't LISTENED to the situation. I would just tell her to be sick on him personally.

Original poster
user5512343212 · 01/05/2016 07:29

I have an appointment booked next Friday to see the headteacher. I have also made it clear to my daughter that I expect her to get up and go to the bathroom as and when needed and that she won't get into trouble from me and I will explain it to her teacher again if he has s problem.

OP posts:
imip · 01/05/2016 07:36

Op, use the words 'reasonable adjustment'. This sounds like a reasonable adjustment, a school is legally obliged to make reasonable adjustments for students in such circumstances. Have a bit if a google and familiarise yourself with the terminology/context. I wish I'd know about this when school refused my dd a lift pass and made her climb 3 flights of stairs numerous times a day after being diagnosed with arthritis.

redexpat · 01/05/2016 07:40

Tell DD to vomit on her teacher/on their desk.

AlwaysDancing1234 · 01/05/2016 07:42

That's disgraceful. Before you see the head maybe mention to the teacher you need a word. "I will speak to head about this but just wanted to check a few things with you...." and make it absolutely clear (again) about what he should be doing and where he's failing.

MidniteScribbler · 01/05/2016 09:46

Good grief, aside from anything else, why on earth would a teacher ever want to risk a child throwing up in their classroom? All my students know that in a vomiting situation to run out, or at least to the bin. I'm a sympathetic chucker, so anyone throwing up (or having to clean it up) would make me retch as well.

FluffyBunny1234 · 01/05/2016 09:51

witchend
Ds has a similar condition, it's not like violent vomiting & when you're very used to it happening multiple times a day it becomes easier to control & swallow. He holds it & runs to the bog eurrrrgh
The stomach acid will damage her throat & teeth eventually

FluffyBunny1234 · 01/05/2016 09:53

Ps he takes peppersmith mints to school

ollieplimsoles · 01/05/2016 09:55

Apart from everything else..

'does not promote healthy eating'
Ffs when will the schools STOP with this nanny bullshit?!

cece · 01/05/2016 09:55

Has she got written care plan in school? If not then speak to the SENCO about getting one written,

Zippidydoodah · 01/05/2016 09:56

God, that's disgusting. Poor girl. If I were you I'd pop in and tell the teacher that you have an appointment with the head so that teacher can Buck up his ideas and be prepared.

Surely it's not that disruptive if the other children are used to her just leaving the room? Far more disruptive for her to have to ask repeatedly, and disruptive to her own education to have to swallow it. I used to have a child with bladder issues who had a hand signal which to me communicated that she needed the loo, and all u had to do was give her a nod. She had full permission to go as and when she needed, as should your daughter.

lamusic · 01/05/2016 09:57

She's not really going to get into major trouble
The head (I hope!) is not going to discipline her for that!

Penfold007 · 01/05/2016 10:01

Before the meeting with the HT contact your local authority and request a EHC (education and health care plan). Then all parties concerned can come up with a formal plan to best support your DD.

RunswickBay · 01/05/2016 10:02

If one teacher has made it work then surely they all can. I'd go straight to the Head.

What a nasty teacher. Your poor poor dd

trinity0097 · 01/05/2016 10:07

The moment a child says they they are feeling sick or are about to vomit they are out of my classroom faster than Usain Bolt!

I would def speak first to the teacher, and then if nothing improves then to the head.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread