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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re 'treat' from DP's relatives

59 replies

Sausalito · 28/04/2016 14:07

DP's auntie and uncle who live abroad, are coming to London next week. They want to treat us as well as see us for a few hours and have asked us to book a Sundowner Cruise on the Thames (they want us to Book for tickets and they will send us the money ). It costs £29 per person and is basically a two hour cruise from 18.30 on the Thames with a glass of sparkling wine and some canapés. It's not a fancy boat just one of the regular ones they use for tourist Thames trips.

There aren't many reviews online of this cruise but those that I have found are pretty mediocre. It appears you get about three canapés for your money, there is music on board which some reviews have complained about and overall it doesn't seem worth the money. I'm a bit worried about the lack of food provided as I need to eat fairly regularly and this would right around dinnertime. It's just not something that DP and I would ever pay this kind of money for. I'm also not keen on those evening time boat trips - difficult to explain why but the thought of the trip makes me a bit anxious and it's just not my kind of thing.

I probably sound very ungrateful but we would be happy to just meeting for a coffee, meal or drink somewhere nice. The ball is in our court really as they have asked us to sort out the tickets . I feel like the right thing to do is to just go ahead and book as that's what they want, but I really don't want to go on this trip it sounds awful!

Genuinely asking if I'm being unreasonable. I think part of it is that I hate feeling like I'm being made to do something that I don't want to do. I feel the only way out would be to find something really nice to do in central London early evening time for the same price or cheaper ( as they are insisting that they will give us the money) and suggest that instead. But I can't think of anything! Any ideas? Heights are out, so no London Eye.

Or AIBU, should I just go along with their plans? They are lovely BTW.

OP posts:
CurlyBlueberry · 28/04/2016 14:30

I am sure that last time I looked there were loads of companies offering similar cruises. Could you choose one that is a more convenient time for you/better reviews etc (like maybe an afternoon tea cruise) and then email the relatives and say "oh my colleague went on this and really highly recommended, shall we do this one instead"?

Original poster
Sausalito · 28/04/2016 14:38

Yousay. That is total rubbish. I love these people, they are my favourite in laws! Just because neither of us can just leave work in the middle of the day, doesn't mean that we don't like them! DP called them up about the and they had a good laugh about it, it seems they forgot that we would be working, just got carried away with their plans!

The not liking feeling forced to do something I don't want to do is just part of my anxiety. It's more of f a fear feeling I get, rather than getting cross and sulking type thing. I know I'm not explaining that v well, sorry.

Glad to hear someone has been on that cruise and enjoyed it, that makes me feel much happier. I always assume that prople are more likely to post bad reviews than good, IYSWIM, so that may explain it.

OP posts:
Janecc · 28/04/2016 14:42

I think part of it is that I hate feeling like I'm being made to do something that I don't want to do. So you don't have children. Grin

Original poster
Sausalito · 28/04/2016 14:48

Thanks everyone. I think I'll talk to DP about it some more, I've already told him that I got anxious at the idea of it as I'm not a big Thames boat fan, but will tell him most of the reviews aren't great (but thanks to the person on here who said it was great) and we will need to eat beforehand (he thought they provided dinner-like amounts of canapés), and talk about it. I'll ask him what he thinks and if he thinks they seemed particularly keen on this trip or if he thinks they would be OK with a nice restaurant instead. If, as I think, they are especially keen on a this trip, then will go ahead and book it.

And no, I won't be sulking, I am v happy to meet these very nice people, and I will make the best of it.

OP posts:
Lottapianos · 28/04/2016 14:48

What is it with the smug 'oh I can so tell you don't have children!' comments on here this week? Hmm

OP, it doesn't sound like something I would get excited about either, but it's what they fancy and it's only a couple of hours. I would go along and enjoy catching up with them

Original poster
Sausalito · 28/04/2016 14:51

LOL Jane yes you're right, I don't!

As I said, it's an anxiety thing. Don't want to go on about it here too much, but it's not a 'childish' stamp my feelings, want things my own way kind of thing, just how my anxiety comes out.

Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sausalito · 28/04/2016 14:53

Thanks Lotta.

Yes, see my later post. I'm going to talk it over with DP, but 99% likely we will go along with what they want.

OP posts:
SpoonfulOfJam · 28/04/2016 15:01

I think it sounds lovely. I'd love that sort of thing.

Have a sandwich before you meet up and book a table for when it's done.

Original poster
Sausalito · 28/04/2016 15:08

Last post, spoken to DP. He isn't keen on it either, but he says that auntie sounded like she had set her heart on it, and so we will go with what they want. He has to email them anyway so will mention to them that they should eat beforehand so they don't turn up too hungry for canapés!

There is live music on board. One reviewer liked it, another said it was awful and too loud to talk over, LOL. let's hope we get the one from the first review!

Will also look for coupons online before booking, thanks for the tip.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 28/04/2016 15:09

And wrap up warm Smile

Original poster
Sausalito · 28/04/2016 15:26

Thanks AF, will do!

Just looking for vouchers, didn't find any so far but found some reviews (which didn't come up in my google searches) that really liked the cruise and more or less contradicted every single point made in the reviews I read before!

OP posts:
BoogieTime · 28/04/2016 15:28

The music we had was a saxophonist. It wasn't overbearing at all, and he didn't play for the whole two hours. I think if your aunt really wants to do it then I'd just go along with it. Yes have some tea beforehand (or stroll up to a restaurant afterwards!). Funnily enough I told the crew I would be leaving a 5 star review but never got round to it. I think it's true that people are more keen to post bad reviews. Have fun! Wine

BoogieTime · 28/04/2016 15:29

Ah cross post! Sorted then! Grin

derxa · 28/04/2016 15:31

Go and make the best of it. How bad could it be?

A11TheSmallTh1ngs · 28/04/2016 15:34

It's TWO HOURS. Maybe I'm missing something but it seems like you're spending much more than 2 hours worrying about it, researching alternatives, trying to persuade your DH and relatives to do something else.

It's basically the length of a movie. Have you never seen a film you weren't that keen on because someone else wanted to see it?

I just find it really difficult to believe that an adult is this emotionally rigid.

A11TheSmallTh1ngs · 28/04/2016 15:34

You're not even paying.

Original poster
Sausalito · 28/04/2016 15:35

Thanks Boogie. That sounds nice. Mind you we probably won't even notice the music, they are such a funny, chatty couple we always have such a good time with them.

Ideally we would've loved to have them here for dinner, show them our place etc but they cant come because of our cats (allergies).

OP posts:
gabsdot · 28/04/2016 15:38

Why not bring some nice food with you and have a bit of a picnic.
I've been on one of these Thames cruises but it was out of town a bit I think it started out in Windsor. It was lovely.

Falling270 · 28/04/2016 15:40

It's not a waste of their money it's a popular tourist attraction they want to do and it's not that expensive anyway compared to most tourist attractions so don't approach this from a "I'm just worried about your money you're pensioners" as I'm sure they're fine managing their money.

The food thing is also an imagined problem. It's two hours so if you can't go that long have a meal before you go and take snacks for yourself. Easy.

The real issue is - you don't want to go, you haven't chosen the activity and therefore you're uncomfortable. The reasonable thing to do would be to book it and go along with their kind plans. Don't start interfering and suggesting other things. If you can't face it decline the offer but IMO that would be rude.

Original poster
Sausalito · 28/04/2016 15:42

A11 have you bothered to read the bloody thread?

Not sure why I'm bothering to answer you, but if you read all the posts you will see that's not the case at all. I've not researched a single alternative, I've not tried to persuade anyone, DP or the relatives to do something else. With regard to not paying, that's one of the reasons why I was worried about it, that they are paying and I'm worried that it will be rubbish a I'll be mortified if they felt they'd been ripped off by a rubbish tourist thing.

And, finally, I have already said that we are going to do it, with a smile Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Sausalito · 28/04/2016 15:43

Falling RTFT

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Falling270 · 28/04/2016 15:46

I did you just sound really precious and high maintenance.

cosmicglittergirl · 28/04/2016 15:46

I'd just say no thanks, boats make me queasy (true) and I d suggest something else. A drink by the river maybe. I have been on one of these boats and I really didn't enjoy it.

Original poster
Sausalito · 28/04/2016 15:48

Gabsdot the picnic thing sounds great, if only the weather wasn't so rubbish at the moment! We will simply tell them, as we think they might believe they're going to get a meal's worth of food on board, that they should probably eat beforehand. If they then want to eat with us before or after (don't know what the rest if their plans are for the day) then we will try our hardest to insist that they allow us to treat them!

OP posts:
Original poster
Sausalito · 28/04/2016 15:54

Fallen well you seem to have missed the several posts where I have said tha I've thought about it, heard a decent review of the trip from a MNer and decided that we will go, and be happy about it. You just sound judgemental and hard of comprehension.

Cosmic, I'm not keen on boats either, but I'd feel rude saying no thanks to them. I've talked about it with DP, and read the posts on here, and my anxiety has more or less gone and I'm sure we will have fun even if it's not what I would've chosen to do if I was choosing.

OP posts: