To wonder how the hell people have spotless houses with a newborn?

[sepa]

I'm lucky if our morning routine takes less than 2hrs in between crying, feeding, showering with more crying
9:40 and about to start my breakfast

Oh God, I know. Ours is still prone to major mess and dd is 5. The problem in ours - messy husband and my on/off commitment to tidying.

My DD sleeps really well at night so I'm lucky I'm not exhausted all day. However she is not put down able unless we are out in her pram

I have a 17 month old. Sje was easiest newborn going... Then crawling hit and my house has never been the same since.

My bedroom is the worst by far, whoops

BrexitentialCrisis - when my DS was a toddler he was like a heat seeking missile for these cupboards - he was forever sidling over to under-stair cupboards and, you're right, there was generally a look of horror on the homeowners face as his hand went to turn the handle!

My house wasn't spotless when DS was a newborn - he may have slept a bit but only if I was outside pushing him in a pram or driving in a car. But, to be honest, at that particular point in his life I considered it a victory if we got through the day without one of us ending up in a helpless sobbing heap; in which case dust became a bit of a side issue.

It's also down to what you are comfortable living with.

Some find it really stressful living in mess so they do whatever they can (to the point of exhaustion) to keep it clean and tidy.

Your living space, your priorities. Doesn't matter what anyone else does.

I'm caught in a rock and a hard place. Living in a mess winds me up but so does cleaning!

Bugger the housework. Read a book instead.

My newborns slept all the time. I was so bored that not only was the house sparkling, I even sorted out all cupboards and wardrobes. Just luck.

I agree it depends on the person honestly I can live with mess, the other day I spent 2.5 hours cutting lawn as grass looked long and I couldn't live it, it took my so long because I'm pregnant with SPD and my 19 month old kept trying to run off down the street, I was shattered by evening but could go to bed happy. Had I not done it , it would of grated on me all night long.

No way could I sit and read a book or watch tvif there was something lying on floor or a dish at sink etc. I was a walking zombie In newborn stage as alone a lot with husband away and a baby who screamed day and night with colic, but I still spent a hour or so a day cleaning my house, somehow juggling holding or feeding baby and hoovering etc.

If a clean house is your thing, you find a way to do it, even with match stick holding your eye lids open 🙈

I cant* live
That should of said

We were also selling house. It wasn't spotless but it was clean. It was easier as my baby was my second and I had to get up to my older dc to school. I'd learnt the first time round that a crying baby is fine for 5 minutes as long as they're safe. My dh helped out when he could and there was many occasions were washing baskets and cars were filled with crap for house viewings.

Drop your standards op there is s difference between a clean house and a tidy house. I also looked dragged up most days!

My house was clean, though not spotless (it's never been that, lol) when I had newborns. How?
Firstly I usually did the nesting/housework thing a few days before they were born.
Secondly, I wasn't one for sitting about after I had a baby. I had lots of energy and kept on top of my routine so it never really got dirty or untidy.
I didn't really breastfeed though, other than 3 weeks with my first, and purely in my personal experience, it's much quicker and easier to FF than breastfeed.
Thirdly, all of my babies slept quite well, both day and night, so I had plenty of time. I never did the sling thing, and have never met anyone who did it in real life. They were put down to nap.

Gnomes.

They don't just do gardens, you know. In this recessive climate, they've expanded operations into the household sphere.

As far as I know, you just leave a saucer of milk and some biscuits by the hearth overnight, make sure the cat flap is open and, by the morning, things should be looking a bit neater.

Apparently, they'll do a deep clean for a bag of turnips and some really good butter.