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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I am surrounded by twats

115 replies

TrixieBlue2016 · 27/04/2016 17:22

This aibu is based on multiple conversations I have had in the last week with friends and colleagues.

So male colleague had a minor cat accident thankfully no one was injured. His car is a 16 plate. The car who he was in accident with was a 03 plate. This is relevant.

So he blamed the other driver (I'm not sure who was at fault) and said the driver was 'at it' as he drove a old car. All drivers of cars that age don't care about their cars so was glad to be getting a new one.

I disagreed with him. Just because it is an older car doesn't mean they are looking to cause accidents for the insurance. This was before a meeting started so there was about a dozen people in the room. All but one other agreed with my colleague. Comments made included, having an old car is a sign they don't have self respect Shock, mental illness Angry, laziness and the driver criminal and is likely is on benefits, has a 'council' lifestyle (drink/drugs). I made a point of disagreeing with them.

I went home and mentioned it to DH. He agreed with me. DH mentioned it to his friends when we were out at the weekend, they disagree with me and made similar comments. Apparently most people think this, the police do, insurance companies do. DH mentioned it to his colleagues, same result.

So the majority of people DH an I have casually mentioned it to agreed with my colleagues. Hmm so aibu to think the people in my life are twatsGrin. Or am I wrong?

OP posts:
livvylongpants · 28/04/2016 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScrambledSmegs · 28/04/2016 09:33

YANBU. DH and I don't give a crap about flash new cars. As long as they're safe, well-maintained and fulfil our lifestyle requirements then we're happy.

I think it's partly due to knowing how fast the value of a new car depreciates (thanks accountancy training). I'd never buy a new one now.

splendide · 28/04/2016 09:35

I drive an old car (2002). I just don't care about cars at all. Just not interested and can't be bothered to replace it.

I think my fountain pen is worth more than my car :)

carabos · 28/04/2016 09:37

I have come across this attitude. It stinks. Quite a few in my crowd drive ratty old cars, mainly because we own horses and if you're on normal salaries you can't keep horses and drive new cars Grin. DH and I tend to buy new or near new, then drive them until they die in a ditch with 150 000 miles on the clock. When I got my latest car about three months ago - three years old with fewer than 10 000 miles on the clock - more than one person told me to get a private plate so people wouldn't know it's not new Hmm.

AppleSetsSail · 28/04/2016 09:37

Your co-worker is first and foremostly a twat.

Secondly, he is wrong.

Thirdly, he is shockingly tone-deaf about what might constitute suitable workplace banter.

Fourthly, he'll never gain entry to the class he considers himself to be, whatever that is.

BoomBoomsCousin · 28/04/2016 09:57

YANBU, also, as exexpat said, they are idiots. Twatish idiots.

Were they mainly men? Because I'm thinking next time perhaps say "Maybe owner of older car's penis is already big enough?" Because it sounds like a lot of puffed up chest beating from people who feel inadequate.

Rebecca2014 · 28/04/2016 09:57

I never knew I was being sterotyped for driving an old car (2004) I see lots of people driving 10+ year old cars.

MyLocal · 28/04/2016 09:57

OP YANBU, this is ridiculous. People that drive older cars that have accidents don't get a brand new one in replacement. They will unlikely even get the value of the car back if it is written off, not only that they may also recently have had considerable expense getting it through it's MOT and having it serviced, replacing tyres etc. Then they have to declare an accident for the next 5 years so have penalties on their insurance irrespective of whose fault it was.

Your colleagues are arses, not only that the colleague who had the accident is clearly at fault, knows he is and is trying to justify it Wink

MyLocal · 28/04/2016 10:01

majorcrowdpleaser
You are not wrong, I found the same experience when I bought my almost new car, first car I had ever paid cash for due to a windfall, previous decades of cars have been bought on bank loans, but paid fro in full eventually none the less.

All DS's friends drive cars like mine on half the income, they all lease them. People think I lease mine....

wasonthelist · 28/04/2016 10:02

Btw another reason I have a 16 year old car is that I don't worry so much about all the dents and scratches left in it by others when it's parked.

LittleLionMansMummy · 28/04/2016 10:04

Just to clarify too, the police don't think this at all. They're only bothered about untaxed and uninsured cars and many of those are actually brand new 'prestige' models that have been used in drug dealing or robberies. Having worked in policing for 13 years I can tell you that most police officers and support workers cannot afford brand new cars either, so to suggest that they have this attitude is truly laughable.

HazelBite · 28/04/2016 11:09

If you have beautiful new flash cars parked on your driveway, your house is more likely to be burgled....fact.....

NoBetterName · 28/04/2016 11:21

We own one modern and two classic cars. I won't name the type of classic cars because it will "out" me massively. We both hold down good, full time, professional jobs.

A couple of our neighbours (one of whom seems to be unemployed again almost every month) only have brand new cars and put private plates on them the minute the registration is updated e.g. if bought in March, the private reg plate goes on in September. These same neighbours scowl and tut at our two classic cars (which we own outright) and seem to think it is preferable to have brand new cars on finance instead. I suspect we lower the tone Grin.

I can't be bothered with people who are only interested in having "stuff". We have the things we do because we enjoy them, not to impress (or otherwise) the neighbours.

SquirrelledAway · 28/04/2016 11:30

There was something going about Facebook a while ago, about how to find a new home. I remember one of the tips was to look at the car regs, the new the reg the better the area

Round here, the bigger the house / the fancier the car = the more crippling the mortgage payments / the more massive the car lease. It's a house of cards about to come tumbling down.

DH drives a twenty year old car, the excess on the insurance means that it's definitely not worth pranging.

Incidentally, the wealthiest people I know (both retired in their early 40s) buy old bangers from the auctions and run them until they die.

Birdsgottafly · 28/04/2016 11:32

Here, in Liverpool, most people know someone that work in Jag, or somewhere similar, who can get ago is monthly deal, for a new car, every 1-2 years.

It's more difficult for people, on benefits, addiction issues (all mentioned in the OP) etc to get a lump sum together to buy a car, rather than get a monthly deal. They're available for people of any income.

My mate has a 03 Estate, he'd be gutted if he had to replace it, it runs without issue. We all went camping recently and our other mate's (who takes the piss out of the 03 plate) new VW had a automatic hand break fault, to the cost of £300 and a wasted day.

When you get older, you realise all the time and money you've spent, just to not have people think a certain way of you. It's important not to allow others to dictate your behaviour and to spend your money (and time) on what suits you.

Ripeberry · 28/04/2016 11:48

My car is a 55 plate. It's a Vauxahall Zafira 'B' so at the moment it's the most hated car on the road as per the OP's work colleague. I drive an old banger and at any moment it could go BANG! When parked up .
Lol! I feel dangerous!

Ripeberry · 28/04/2016 11:53

But I won't get rid of it until it becomes too expensive to repair. I own it outright, have had it for over 3 years. I've never had car on finance in my life and have been driving for 30 years. A car is for getting around, not showing off!

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 28/04/2016 12:01

This is one reason why I'm glad I live in the arse end of nowhere. Very few people here care about such things. When I drive over the Tamar and finally get on the motorway, I can feel the attitude start to hot up as you get further east. The cars are newer and they're driven faster. Makes me nervous.

SecretWitch · 28/04/2016 12:10

My dh has a 2001 Jeep Wrangler. He adores his ride. We have people knock on our door and leave notes on the Jeep offering to buy it. My dh is a copper, so I promise you there are no drugs or indigency.. The mental health comment is just fucking nasty.

Germgirl · 28/04/2016 12:23

The only people I know who have new cars, have a huge heap of car related debt. How stupids that?!

^this. I recently got rid of my 15 plate car, I now have an 06 plate (which I bought 2 weeks ago, have driven twice and some twat has driven in to, causing lots of damage), so have I suddenly acquired mental illness, a feckless attitude, a 'council' attitude and a drug habit? No, all I've done is save myself £250 a month.

AnythingGoesWithMe · 28/04/2016 14:41

I have a brand new car. It's a company car though so I couldn't care less what happens to it. It's part of the company image though so it gets replaced frequently and is never less than 2 years old.

wasonthelist · 28/04/2016 15:18

Just to clarify too, the police don't think this at all. They're only bothered about untaxed and uninsured cars and many of those are actually brand new 'prestige' models that have been used in drug dealing or robberies. Having worked in policing for 13 years I can tell you that most police officers and support workers cannot afford brand new cars either, so to suggest that they have this attitude is truly laughable

I'm pleased this has changed. When I was younger and drove manky old cars I got stopped every 10 minutes by Police 90% of whom had a shocking attitude problem especially as my cars were old but legal and I had done nothing wrong. Pleased we live in more enlightened times.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 28/04/2016 15:27

Would love to know where you work OP. Downing Street perhaps?

sparechange · 28/04/2016 15:28

This is hilarious

Tell your twatfriends to have a look on Google Streetview at Kensington and Notting Hill in London
Houses are worth £10m each, but I bet more than half the cars parked outside them will be 10 years old

TattyCat · 28/04/2016 15:42

It's those with no money who need to 'evidence' that they are successful, and so get themselves into debt in order to have a new car on the drive. Generally.

Never judge a book by its cover.

We have 2 Mercedes on the drive - they are 20+ years old and are practically bomb proof. I had an old 'C' reg Merc - I lent it to someone and he wrote it off within a week. Gutted - it was a fantastic car in great condition. Oh, and our joint income is in excess of 180k and we live in a very small, very cheap house.