To really dislike one of my DD's friends....

[Devonbee]

I'm struggling with her.

My dd and her friend are 6 years old. DDs friend is very very quiet and I used to think it was shyness, but now I think she is sullen and just blooming rude.

For instance.... I brought her home for tea and was getting out of the car, which was full of bags and general kids stuff plus my stuff. I said "OK guys, you will have to carry your own bits up as I don't have enough hands". I held out her bag and said, "here you go". She just stared at me, and crossed her arms. I ended up hooking the bag over her head.

This is just one example. No please's or thank you's despite me explaining that "in our house" we say please and thank you. And the usual prompt "What do you say" etc.

How do I deal with this child? Or is it just me and I should ignore it.

*Her

Well yes - of course. Both.
But her Dad is pretty 'mute' too. Her Mum seemed really nice and chatty - I thought we could be friends, and we still could but bloody hell! How do you let that happen. Neglect?

Neglect was the wrong word. It sounds too harsh but I guess I was thinking about it as in when we talk about 'benign neglect' - 70's parenting....

Um... One of dd1's teeth came through without enamel. Nothing we could have done would have saved it. The rest of her teeth are perfect.
A friend of mine was very strict about brushing teeth and not eating sweets etc because,she'd always had rotten teeth as a child... He ds had 6 fillings,at 4yo.

Don't judge the teeth thing. My brother had black, crumbly baby teeth. Nothing different with him than me as mum always brushed them but his were just awful. It upset my mum but the dentist said it was just bad luck and that teeth do differ a lot naturally. His adult teeth came through totally fine.

Sorry Devonbee but I really think you need to get over yourself here. She is your dd's friend not yours.

I don't think hooking a bag over a kid's head is a good idea at all.

I would have left the bag in the car.

If she doesn't say please or thank you I would not worry about it, it is not your job to teach her manners.

Maybe she is shy, maybe she is sullen. She is 6.

Kids can be quite ungrateful and unhelpful at times, it is much easier and probably more effective to model politeness to them rather than trying to drag it out of them.

It's fine to do it to your own child but not someone else's.