First time posting in here and fully expect to be told I am being unreasonable/hormonal/pfb or all of the above 
sorry it's so long but I don't want to drip feed.
Background: DH and I have been together just over five years, married 18 months. DH has an 8 year old daughter from a previous relationship. I was not the OW. In fact I met DH because we started working together just after he left his ex. He waited more than a year before he asked me out as I was in a long term relationship that ended. I wasn't introduced to dsd until we had been together nearly a year. By this time dh's ex was in another relationship and had introduced him to dsd.
I have never officially met dh's ex. She seemed to take an instant dislike to me, evidenced in nasty texts and screaming down the phone at DH, and this ramped up after she split up with her boyfriend about 18 months into our relationship. Since then she has not had a boyfriend.
I have tried to empathise. I have no idea how hard it is to be a single mum and hope I don't ever have to find out. I have never replied or retaliated (don't even have her number) and have always tried to treat dsd the way I would want my own daughter treated, but sometimes I feel I've been pushed too far.
Every step of our relationship has been challenged by her behaviour. When I was just 'the girlfriend' I was deliberately trying to replace her, so it got to the point I refused to play 'families' with dsd where she would say to me 'you be the mummy and I'll be the little girl', I would say 'let's be sisters instead' in case that upset her. Nothing I did was ever good enough.
When we bought our home and got engaged she started coaching dsd to say horrible things to me and started contacting DH saying that him continuing a relationship with me was emotionally damaging his daughter. I know these things seem petty but when you hear it week in week out it starts to drain.
The worst thing though is that throughout our relationship she has sent DH inappropriate text messages. This even extended to calling him at work when she is drunk and saying he had to come and help her immediately because there were 'men following her'.
I trust DH. He has no contact with her unless it's about dsd.
DH has always maintained the best way to deal with his ex is to ignore her and not rise to the provocation. To be fair this seems to work the majority of the time.
On the other hand, DHs mum and wider family have not followed this advice to the point that they indulge this behaviour and overlook a lot of things that she has done because they are afraid she will stop them seeing dsd. To be fair to them, DH has not always told them the full extent of some of the horrible things his ex has done to us personally.
After we got married I discovered mil had given dh's ex photos of the wedding. At first I thought they were just of dsd as a flower girl but have since found out they were pictures of just me and DH. Apparently dh's ex had asked for them? For some reason this made me feel uncomfortable but I let it go.
Fast forward and, following three heartbreaking miscarriages, I am 37 weeks pregnant and petrified. Dh's ex has already said that me having a baby is going to damage dsd and baby isn't even here yet. There is no reason to believe this, DH will still see dsd as often as before and is not seeking to reduce any sort of payment. I am obviously very emotional (and hormonal) and have decided that under no circumstances do I want dh's ex to have photos of my little baby (God willing she gets here safely) even if dsd is in the photo with her. Sorry, I know that probably sounds really petty but that is how I feel.
Neither DH or I are on Facebook, Twitter or any other social media so the only way she would get them is via dh's family.
Aibu to feel this way and, if I'm not, how do I make it clear from the start to his family?
Thank you if you managed to get through all of that 