To wake DH up at 8am every morning?

[lilypadpod]

He has a month off before starting his new job. We're packing up the house ready for moving so there is loads to do.

I go to bed at 8-9pm as I'm up at 10pm, 1am, 4am feeding baby then up for day with baby by 5:30am every day. I'm used to broken nights. DH will help re-settle between feeds if needed and helps a lot during the day, but also has option of guestroom/earplugs.

Recently I've started waking DH up at 8am every day and handing over baby so I can get on with stuff (baby is clingy and grizzles after 5mins if left alone).

DH thinks it's U to be woken at 8 as he is 'on holiday'
I'm fed-up as by 8am I've already been up several hours (baby is fed, washed, dressed and napped when I hand him over so all DH has to do is play with him). I am not a 'morning person' as he insists I just don't have a choice about the early starts. To me, 8am is a lie-in, a luxury I don't have!

I've suggested he goes to bed earlier, eg by midnight if he wants a full 8hours but he likes being up at night so often stays up until 2-3am

AIBU to keep waking him up at 8am?

He's a PARENT, not your stroppy 14 year old son. That behaviour is so unattractive in a grown man. Start waking him up to care for the baby at 5:30. He doesn't get to opt in and out of being a parent.

No, YANBU, your husband sounds ridiculously selfish! He needs to grow up and start taking more responsibility for his own child! You should be taking turns with night feeds, if that's not possible because of breastfeeding then at least every other day or something after the 5.30am feed baby should go straight to DH and you go back to bed, or some other fairer system that enables you to properly share the burden.

Either that or wait a week or so and then say it's your turn for a holiday and he can get on with it for a week.

This sounds like my DH. He stays up til early hours of the morning and only gets out of bed when he wants to (7.30 during the week and 10 ish on the weekend). I get out of bed earlier to start the day with DC. It completely spoils my weekends to be honest because I always expect him to want to be with DC on the weekend but am then disappointed when he doesn't.
We enjoy going out without him early in the morning on a Sunday but he's recently started getting out of bed just as we are about to leave the house, saying "wait for me to come too" then we wait a couple of hours...then it turns into lunchtime then we end up not going anywhere nice grr

Get him to see it as paternity leave, as you are not on holiday either. Or decide it is a holiday, so you also get the benefit of half of that. Of he says you are on holiday, then it will be no problem for him to do everything you do.

A month's holiday!

Did you know he was such a selfish arse when you married him? Feel genuinely angry at the way he's treating you.

"DH thinks it's U to be woken at 8 as he is 'on holiday' "
He very clearly is NOT on holiday! If he was on holiday, you would also be on holiday!!

I presume his is also doing a fair share of the packing up? Or does that interfere with his holiday too?

If he's awake until 3am, he can do all the night feeds, surely?

Sothatsflatwhite - don't wait for him again. You're not waiting as you go nowhere. What you are doing is allowing him to control your weekend and sit weakly by as he waves his manliness about. Dickhead.

He can't so the night feeds if the baby is BF

He should either be doing a share of the night feeds or if that's not possible due to breastfeeding then he should be getting up with the baby for the day at 5.30am so you can get a lie in!

Dp is working ft but if our baby has been up a few times in the night he will get up early with him (not quite as early as 5.30am luckily) and look after him until he has to leave for work or until ds cries for a feed, whichever happens first.

I would declare yourself to be on holiday next week and leave him to it all.

Exactly bakeoff, and yes there's expressing but I've always found the faff of all the sterilising, plus all the tedious, tedious pumping means I'd rather be up doing the night feeds anyway! Anyway I don't think I'm alone in actually enjoying breastfeeding, even with the endless months of broken sleep.

But then again 99% of the time dp gives me a lie-in. So YANBU! Hand him the baby at 5:30 :D

If he's choosing to be up until 3am, then he's choosing to make his life hard. There's a really simple solution to this for him that most of us figure out by about age fourteen...

He's on holiday from work, not from his kids - shize!

YADDDDDDDNBU

YANBU. Mine tends to have a pack of dogs sent up to leap all over him if he stays in bed past a decent time.

I don't really get your set up. Can you explain a few things - are you bfing? Are you working ooh? How old is child? I don't get why you're not sharing childcare if you're both at home.

No it's not. it's U of him to expect to stay in bed any later. Tell him your not getting enough done in the morning's so you'll be waking him at half 7 from now on instead, go on, dare you, just for a laugh...... I'm joking, I know it's not a laughing matter, but he might realise how reasonable 8am actually is.

I'm breastfeeding, it's a struggle to get DS to take a bottle at night, he gets upset when he realises it's not boob then is hard to settle. I don't mind the night feeds too much, it's just tiring doing a night-shift then an early start. 8am feels like late morning to me!

DH pulls his weight in general, but he's resentful at having to start each day at 8. He's done a couple of 5:30am starts but then he needed to take a nap in the afternoon! He hasn't been keen to do any since and TBH I'd rather do the early shift than be on duty with baby while he takes a nap.

Oh and apparently mat-leave is 'like a holiday'

He should take the baby from you at 5.30 after the feed and let you get some sleep. If you got up at 9 refreshed maybe he could have an hour then. If dh told me ML was like a holiday he would be dead. What is he doing during the day, packing?

YANBU. DH is SAHD and I'm on Mat leave. I'm breastfeeding a 12 week old so similar frequency. i go to bed early and dh takes the baby until he needs fed around 10/11. Then I try not to wake him unless I really need to during the night. In return I wake him after the morning feed (any time after 6) and he takes DS so I can get a couple of hours' good sleep. Everyone does better as a result.

Yeah its just like a holiday assuming you have a night and day nanny doing all child care - point out your holiday will be shared with his and therefore you'll do a morning each. Don't let him away with this. It makes me so cross to hear how selfish some men can be. Not all men are like this, you don't have to put up with it!

Mat leave is like a holiday??? !!!

SO you're required to get up and deal with the baby at the crack of dawn on your holidays, while get gets to have a lie in and let you deal with the baby on his holidays?

Seriously?! What a jerk.