AIBU to want a 'fulfilling' weekend? What does your weekend look like?

[DiamondsAreForNever]

I work ft (DH works nearly ft too) and housework is shared 50/50 but I do at least 90% of the organising/thinky stuff at home (that's not likely to change quickly, I know I have a DH problem there but am working on it). The weekend usually goes with DH staring into space not doing a lot on the sofa, DD on a screen of some kind (tablet, laptop, ds) or on the sofa also not doing a lot with DH if I've said no more screen time. Both of them seem incapable of entertaining themselves, DH because he's quite happy doing nothing and DD because she's bored and too lazy to find something to do (she's not generally lazy in terms of school/housework though to be fair). Drives me nuts though, I want to relax and spend time with them as I don't have a lot of free time in the week but it's so achingly dull and pointless.

I'm quite easygoing as far as preferences about what we do, I'm always the last to say 'nah, don't fancy that' even if it's something I wouldn't choose myself, but AIBU to want to spend the weekend relaxing but actually doing something most of the time rather than sat staring at a wall or a screen? I really don't care what it is but just doing something together!

Neither of us drive and we don't have a lot of money so 'trips' out can't be a regular thing and we do housework at weekends but in between is just a mix of tv, computer, the odd board game and a whole lot of nothing.

I really don't want to have to organise the weekend as well as everything else but it seems the only way I'll get it 'spiced up' at all so please can I ask for suggestions - what do you do at the weekend that doesn't involve a lot of going to specific places/spending money? Also things that don't involve me doing a lot of prep or a lot of work would be appreciated!

There was a very similar thread to this last weekend, if you manage to find it quite a few people posted so it'll be a good start.

Have you heard of geocaching? Not everyone's idea of fun, but it's free, you don't need a car and you could discover beautiful places in your local area.

Saturdays we spend running the dc to clubs and catching up with friends

Sundays is time where we do what we please, go out for a walk, bake, watch a film, dc go out to play, homework and housework gets caught up on etc

I'm currently sat on my bed sulking because of this exact same problem so I'll be keeping an eye on other replies for some inspiration.

My DH is quite happy to plan an entire weekend on a TV schedule. Drives me nuts! After every evening during the week is spent watching the telly, it gets to the weekend and he's happy to buy some snacks, order a takeaway and stare at the box in the corner. It'd be nice to do every now and then but every shitting weekend??? I also get sick of being the one to plan things so have just not bothered today and now I'm regretting it

We visit family occasionally but mostly we'll go out on the bikes or out for a wander, the DC love to go swimming too.

Do you have a garden? Mine just spend their weekends out there if we're not doing anything. We have a mix of things, we pop into town on a Saturday for pocket money sweets, maybe have a walk, watch a film, play in the garden, roast in a Sunday, gardening, DH tinkers with 'stuff' (currently car fixer upper). Kids are still in their pjs at the mo, on the top of the playhouse playing some sort of game. In about an hour I'll put the roast in to slow roast for a few hours and we'll go out for a walk somewhere. After roast we will prob watch a film .

YABU, I think. Surely it's just a mismatch - you want to 'do', they want to relax.

What would you like to do? Can you take up a hobby one morning?

We had a row in B&Q this weekend.

So this weekend DH took DS1 on a trip to watch a football match with his football club. I dropped DS2 and DS3 at a friend's house so I could do my weekly rowing session. Then I picked them up and we went over to another friend's for a BBQ and the kids spent hours playing in the stream and on an old tractor whilst I chatted and ate. Today DH has gone out for a bike ride and the kids are playing outside in the garden whilst I tidy up and do my nails and faff around on the internet. When DH gets back I'm off to buy DS2 some new school shoes and then we'll all take the dog out for a walk with some friends and maybe go kayaking for a bit. But we do live somewhere where we are lucky enough to spend a lot of time outside and it's lovely and sunny here today. If DS1 hadn't had the football trip yesterday DH would have taken them swimming. Fairly standard weekend here apart from the football trip.

We often go for canal side walks but it's only ten minutes away and walking one way takes you in to countryside. Saturday's has been spent at DS footie matches. The team he belongs to is great and we all went out to the end of season footie presentations last night. Some of the other parents have become really good friends. We sometimes have a cuppa at each other's houses kind of thing.

Do you not have anyone else to see at the weekend? As much as I adore DH I do like to see other people.

We only get two out of four as Dh works so they feel even more precious.
We try to alternate with doing fun things and getting stuff done too.
Saturday's are busy with dd2 and her ballet and gym, then in the afternoon we either mooch about or go out, circus last night was fun but pricey.
Today dd1 has gone to cinema with her mates and dh and I have done some gardening with dd2' she has a party later which I mw I'll take her to, she is in reception so seems to have a party most weekends at the moment 😜

I don't really like weekends, unless I organise something dh busies himself with Diyarbakir

To be fair it all got done but now today he is away again and I we have two small dc. I am not cooking today or ironing though. Then he said I am in a dreadful mood. But I don't care.

Diy

We have kids activities/sport on Saturday so Sunday is often left for relaxation
Today one child has a friend coming over to play
Last Sunday I went out to a gallery with a friend

There are several things you don't mention in your OP - so it's hard to tell whether they don't exist for you or have been rejected.

Friends? Extended family? Garden? Pets? Actual interests? (Art, music, wildlife, urban architecture, theatre, whatever?)

I was talking about leisure over the past half century or so with my DM recently - recalling with pleasure the quiet Sundays with a drive to a stately home in the afternoon that I grew up with, compared to what looks like the miserable existence of some families now - dragging unwilling children around a shopping centre ...

Sorry, that's waffle - but I'm sure it's an interest in something that gets people out - it must be impossible if they genuinely have no interests.

You don't say how old you are. Have you both definitively decided against driving? Would it be impossible, between two incomes, to make a plan for eventually getting hold of a car?

DP is a workaholic so works all weekend. However I do force him out. He's taking DS to the cinema later and we went out last night and he will go out with his brother later.

You've said funds are limited and you can't drive. Can you put your finger on exactly what else you'd rather be doing.

we do 50/50

so plenty of chilling on the sofa, but we always go for a walk/swim/sport/whatever as well.

Otherwise we'd all go mad!

Now, where to start...OP, what do YOU like to do? An hour in the pool followed by a coffee? A nice walk? (don't know where you live, and if it's nice for walking)

you'll have to do a bit of planning to get it all kickstarted

OH usually works or is on call at weekends so we don't tend to do much.
DD will meet with friends or go shopping, DS maybe meet some friends at the pub. I potter about, OH takes over the reins in the kitchen for the weekend, he can fit cooking in between working, but it does mean we can't go out for a meal or anything as he can get called to do a job at any time.
So just relaxing for me.

DH and DS both spend the whole weekend on their XBoxes and watching tv. I don't mind. I go shopping (shopping on your own is bliss), I
Wander around in the countryside with the dogs, I read, I watch what I want on a different TV. I love my 'boring' weekends.

Our weekends are fair boring, but we have long commutes during the week and like to stay local at the weekend.

Saturday - I go to parkrun, have coffee with parkrun friends, DH and I do the grocery shopping, we watch whatever sport DCs are playing (hockey/rugby/cricket/rowing depending on DC and the time of year). Dh cooks dinner and we watch a film.

Sunday - usually a walk somewhere, I batch cook for next week, DH does the ironing. I try to go for a longer (1 hour+) run. We brace ourselves for the week ahead.

In between I chill out on the sofa with my crochet, and we might do a bit of housework.

Half and half: chilling and doing.

A weekend where we've got no real plans tends to look like following:

Saturday usually lazy morning maybe punctuated by gym/run/cycle then brunch/lunch out followed by activity/mooch round shops/hang out in garden then DH and I go out for evening the two of us/friends.

Saturday Dc1 and I get up early to horse ride, DH and DC2 up early for football training, DC3 tags along with either one of us. Friends have a boat so sometimes out with them. Board games and movies in afternoon followed by take out.

We do try and actually"do something" on weekends: picnic/camping/theme park/museum/art stuff otherwise I find they become something of a black hole

Mine veg at home quite a bit - so I leave them to it.

I like the sound of Saucy Jack's weekend . We sometimes do that but in Wickes.

I'm a sahm, but DP and dd out at work and school so feel weekend is their time to laze about.

My ideal weekend is
Fri night- takeaway/movie/popcorn
Saturday - family day out. Local park with picnic or beach, or local town for a swim then ice cream then library visit. Each do our own thing in evening ( DP watches TV, dd plays phone/PC and toddler and I just do what we do every other day!) Sunday - recharge day - housework time in morning, potter about, read maybe bake, dd does schoolwork etc My parents house for dinner then home for early night.
Never actually happens though

Well I think you have to have a plan, that everybody knows about, in order to get up and out on a weekend morning. You can't leave the planning to the morning - unless long, lazy breakfast with newspapers and planning the day is one of your desirable activities - or it will be lunch time before you go out, by which time you'll have missed lots of things.

It probably makes a difference that DP and I were both active, busy and had lots of interests, some of which we did together, before we had DC. So we have a strong model of weekends as a time to do things, make the most of, enjoy.

We do a mixture of dd classes (not lots but DP does waterbabies with her on Saturday, dd is 4), household cleaning, tidying and DIY, me studying during the academic year (while they swim, occasional tutorial on Saturday morning) and going out and about - family activities, just us or with friends or family.

Our activities are mostly cheap or free. In summer we go to local open gardens (lovely cake!), arts festivals, Open Farm Sunday, free days at local museums (e.g. Heritage open day in sept and our local art gallery does excellent free children's drop in workshops most weekends), take part in / watch local festivals and events, meet friends for a walk in the park, or further afield with picnic, walk / scoot / bike along the local canal and feed the ducks, go to the park, visit people etc. Almost all of these are accessible on foot or by public transport.

My MN Local site is really good for finding local activities. They're quite varied, so can't make any promises about yours but worth a look.