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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he's a cheeky bastard and possibly shifty?

39 replies

MatildaTheCat · 23/04/2016 12:24

We bought our house in 2002. Since then there has been a large amount of mail for previous occupants, most of which went in the bin. Every so often there has been something more important looking which I've opened.

In about 2005 one of these more official looking letters arrived which I opened to find it was telling the previous owner he had won £50 on the premium bonds. I tracked him down and posted the cheque on to his address abroad. No acknowledgement for this.

Last year I received two more premium bond wins for him in a short time frame. I hunted him down on Google, emailed him and made a suggestion that he might want to consider letting them know of his change of address since he was on a lucky run. He replied and sent his address and I posted them on, abroad again and never had so much as a thank you by email.

Yesterday two letters arrived from France addressed to him and I again opened them. They were two separate speeding fines from earlier this month. Both somehow registered to my bloody address. I emailed him again in a fairly cross fashion asking what he wanted to do about this. They are the sort of fines that increase if you don't pay up immediately. I didn't keep his address last time naively thinking there would be no further need.

The irony of all this is that I emailed via his workplace and he's the CEO of a risk company which offers advice to financial institutions so surely a clean reputation is paramount. So, is he shady or disorganised? And WWYD? DH says just bin them although now I've emailed.

It's given me the rage. Angry

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 23/04/2016 12:26

Why are you opening the post and not popping it back in the post box marked "not known at this address"?

EatShitDerek · 23/04/2016 12:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Heirhelp · 23/04/2016 12:28

You really should not open and read other people's post.

Write not at this address on it and put it in the post box.

pitterpatterrain · 23/04/2016 12:29

Yup agreed with PP
Don't open- I have a feeling you shouldn't anyhow. If you know the address write not known here and redirect, else just not known. When we moved it we got loads, but after a couple of months of sending it all back it has dropped of and is rare now

ChemistryHunt · 23/04/2016 12:29

I would stop opening anything and just bin most of. It's not any of your business what's in the mail or your responsibility to act as a secretary and screen his mail for him.

If it looks important/debt related or maybe a fine I would pop it back in the postbox marked "not at this address".

Pinkheart5915 · 23/04/2016 12:30

I'd put all letters addressed to him back in the post box with no longer at this address on the Royal Mail will then return to sender.
You moved in 2002 so the cheeky sod has had loads of time to change his address, if you keep posting things to him he never will!

Ughnotagain · 23/04/2016 12:31

Yeah, I'd just bin it by this stage.

OurBlanche · 23/04/2016 12:33

DVLA might be interested.... 14 years without changing the address on his driving license... naughty boy!

Original poster
MatildaTheCat · 23/04/2016 12:36

Yes, fair enough I probably shouldn't open it but have actually only done this on these occasions. If I had reposted everything it waould be well over a thousand items over the years. Anyway, no more. I'm still totally baffled as to how our address was registered to his car. He cannot surely still have the same car after 14 years.

OP posts:
WellErrr · 23/04/2016 12:43

Just tell him you'll be binning anything else that comes.

Then bin it. Or put in the post 'not known at this address.' Whatever.
But don't deal with it anymore!

RaeSkywalker · 23/04/2016 12:44

We had similar issues (only bought our house a year ago). Letters gro the DVLA, HMRC, pension plans... We don't open them, we've put back in the post box marked 'not known', etc. I've called the organisations. We've friend contacting the previous owners. However the letters kept flipping coming... I was really stressed as I'm fairly certain the DVLA stuff was serious.

This went on until a few months ago when DH opened the door to the postman. He had a special delivery package that needed to be signed for by them- it was rugby World Cup tickets. DH explained that we couldn't sign for them and they were returned to the sender.

Mysteriously we've had nothing for them since! Grin

RaeSkywalker · 23/04/2016 12:45

That should be "letters from", not "letters gro".

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 23/04/2016 12:47

Buy some sheets of A4 printer labels and run off a couple of pages of "not known at this address" labels to save bother of writing on each envelope.
After a couple of months, the volume of post should decrease

EvansOvalPies · 23/04/2016 12:48

Agree with previous posters. Write on the envelopes 'Not Known at this Address' and pop it into your nearest post box. Not your problem either way then. You won't have to chase him, look for him, or anything really. And I do think it is actually illegal to open post meant for someone else (even if it comes to your house). Just return to sender.

Finola1step · 23/04/2016 12:49

We have had something similar recently (boast owner from 4 years ago).

I label everything as "Not known at this address since *. Please remove address from database".

Letters are dwindling.

AugustaFinkNottle · 23/04/2016 12:52

So long as he knows you'll make all this effort to send important things on to him, he has no incentive to inform people of his current address. Tell him that from now on you'll simply be putting his mail unopened back in the postbox marked "Not known" so if he wants to make sure he gets it he needs to register his current address with everyone.

KitKat1985 · 23/04/2016 12:53

When we moved here about 5 years ago we got a LOT of mail for the previous owners. We forwarded it on for about 2 months out of kindness and then I decided it was taking the piss, as they hadn't seemed to have informed anyone they had moved by the volume of mail we were receiving, and I felt that 2 months was long enough to have told people / companies they had moved. Thereafter I just popped it back in the post with 'no longer at this address - return to sender' on it.

Monstertrucker · 23/04/2016 12:53

OurBlanche DVLA don't need to be informed of address change if you move abroad - only within UK. Seems bonkers but we've moved avroad and this is what we were advised. Apparently their computers only accept UK addresses!

OurBlanche · 23/04/2016 12:55

No! Labels should read The named person moved out of this address in 2002. Please update your records

We still get post for the previosu 3 owners who left 2, 12 and 27 years ago. So that is what I write on the envelopes.

One government department sent a letter to "The Occupant" and asked me to confirm that we had bought the house, what date, from whom, etc. So I am assuming that the fly boy from 12 years ago has been dodging stuff using this address.

NicknameUsed · 23/04/2016 12:57

"Why are you opening the post and not popping it back in the post box marked "not known at this address"?"

I don't understand why you haven't done this either. We occasionally get mail for the previous owner of our house and we always write "Return to sender. Not known at this address since 2003"

Birdsgottafly · 23/04/2016 12:59

I wouldn't put 'not known at this address' and put his actual address, which the OP has.

It will help the Offical agencies track him down.

The speeding fines could result in a bailiffs visit, which the OP will have to deal with, anyway.

LongHardStare · 23/04/2016 13:00

I used to have lots of mail for a previous tenant and did what you're supposed to - stuck them back in the postbox unopened with 'not known at this address'. That didn't work out because, as in your case, lots were parking fine related and they all escalated resulting in me being woken up (along with most of the street) early one am by bailliffs. After that I spoke to the dvla, had to send them proof of my residence and got a letter from them acknowledging this. Every letter I got from then on I opened, found out the email of the sender, and emailed them a cross note with the dvla letter attached and a recent council tax bill, copying in my landlord. It was a lot of hassle but eventually the letters stopped coming. I dread to think what it has done to my credit rating.

OurBlanche · 23/04/2016 13:02

It won't have done anything to your credit rating... but it would be best to check with a free on like Noddle, and raise a query if there is anything there.

They don't assess by address any more, apparently.

LongHardStare · 23/04/2016 13:04

That's good to know OurBlanche

19lottie82 · 23/04/2016 13:04

There's nothing wrong or illegal about opening letters that are not addressed to you, as long as you have a good reason and are not doing it with malicious intent.

If the OP suspects letters may have a detrimental effect on her, she is correct to open them so they can be dealt with appropriately.

Organisations often ignore "return to sender" returns. If letters arrive at my house for previous residents I do this once. If the letters continue and it looks like the correspondence could be important, I open them and contact the sender directly myself (by phone) , to let them know that the intended recipient no longer lives at the property.

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