AIBU to change my mind about a dog?

[GinIsForWinners]

Dh has wanted a dog since we moved in together 5 yeats ago. Ive always said no as we have our hands full with children, plus the addrd expense and the commitnwnt ot takes.
om 15 weeks pregnant with dc3 and a bit hormornal, for some stupid reason i saod we could go and have a look at some puppies. Naturally we fell in love with one and paid a deposit. Not a huge amount and we still have £300 to pay.
ive come to my senses a bit and am worried about firstly how we can afford it, not thw puppy but the addotional costs such as vets bills, insurance, foot etc. and secondly how im going to cope with 3 kids and a dog. Dh sonetimes works away so i will have to be waking it with 3 children in tow in all weathers.
I know ive been an absolute dick in saying yes, but ive massively changed my mind. What do i tell him?

I got an adult rescue dog - a staffie cross, we think - when I was 1 month pregnant. A lot of people said it was a bad idea but three years on he is the most wonderful member of the family. He saved my sanity in the newborns days because I had to leave the house to walk him, and he was the only thing that would just come and give me a bit of love, no demands, when I was miserable.
That said, I adore dogs and always wanted one - it was the lack of a permanent house where I could have one stopping me. It sounds like you could grow to love one but you have a lot on your plate. Don't take the pup now - tell your DH when the kids are a bit older and more easy to herd you'd like one. Maybe when the youngest is 3 or so. And consider an adult rescue from a group that takes time to match a family to a dog, no dealing with toilet training there usually. Good luck whatever you go with. Dogs are the best, if you have the time and love available for them.

My dogs have saved my my sanity many times and i love being able to get out for some time on my own and walk them...however puppies are horrible (as in I was in tears more than once and I didn't have a new baby!) and you really need to be 100% on board and committed or don't do it!

If you don't work I don't see the problem? You'll have time to walk it. Just get up a bit earlier if need be.

As others have said it is manageable BUT really depends on how much you personally want a dog as to whether it would work for you. I have 4 DC (including a 2 week old!) and an 11 month old dog who needs about two hours exercise per day. My non dog loving friends think we are crazy. I couldn't be without him and have always had dogs, they are a huge part of my life so I make it work. Fortunately DH shares the walking duties and we are lucky enough to have a local and very flexible dog walker who helps us out once or twice a week as needed - but of course it is an added cost.
It could work but I think the desire to want a dog has to be there.

The problem is that the OP has 'massively changed her mind'.

My own situation isn't ideal for having a dog, either. I make it work because I really, really wanted a dog.

Trying to 'make it work' when you know before it even arrives that you don't want the dog? Doomed. And really unfair on the dog, IMO.

Thanks everyone, you've definitely confirmed what I knew already.
Told oh that were not getting a dog, spoke to the breeder and she was lovely about it.
Its just not fair on a dog coming to a home where it's doesn't get the time and attention it deserves.

Good call op, hope you're not getting too much grief!

Are you prepared to spend the time to train it? With a new born as well? If no, they explain this to your DH.

An untrained puppy who grows into an untrained dog will be a total NIGHTMARE.

Ah didn't notice the update there. Glad you got it sorted OP

We got a dog as I cba to train a puppy.

And waited until the kids were old enough to be left, even if ill, whilst I walked him.

And likewise for them to be able to walk him if need be.

Oops, missed a page.

Good decision, Op.

As you put, dogs need -and deserve a lot of time & attention.

Well done for thinking of the dog & not just yourselves.

Glad you made a good decision.

Dogs need to be walked twice a day. Anything less is neglectful.
And this has to be done in all weathers- when it's dark, raining sideways and freezing cold.
If your OH won't do this before work you will have to. The dog will also bring in half the contents of outside into your home, the mud, grit and mud will end up over floors, sofas, skirting boards. You kitchen floor will never be clean.
Your clothes and furniture will be covered in hairs, and your house will smell ( although you won't notice that after a while, only visitors.)

Good decision op

I have to say though,,just to balance out the thread, a puppy is nowhere near the fuss it sounds from this thread. if you decide to get one when the kids are older, you will be pleasantly surprised to find it is most unlikely to be as hard as it sounds on here.

If you have doubts, pull out now. Last year I gave in to a long standing request for a dog. Cut a long, horrendous, emotional story short, we got a rescue dog... The minute it was in our house I knew it was wrong for me. We took it back within the week. Not my finest hour and it makes me feel sick to think about it still. However it was the right decision. Being the one at home you will be doing nearly all the 'dog stuff', if you are not completely happy about this, you will be as miserable as I was. The dog we had went on to be rehomed with a great couple who had another dog, I don't feel guilty about the dog. I feel as bad as anyone possibly could about the upset caused to my husband and children, but they understood that no one would be happy if I was that unhappy. Dogs are an unbelievable responsibility. Please don't feel you have to go through with the puppy if you don't want to.

Missed your update too! Good for you, right choice x

I'm a real dog person and prefer them to people mostly but even I think you're mad. Practically speaking thus is not going to work. Not with a puppy. An older dog maybe but even then you'll be awfully stretched.