to think that if you don't RSVP you don't go?

[BatteryOperatedBoyfriend]

Or shall I just look really surprised when they turn up, and not feed them or give them a party.

Or maybe let mums tyres down as its not the child's fault .

I'm awful at replying to RSVPs for dc's birthday invites. I don't know many of her friend's parents and they just put their phone no. I know it sounds silly, but it's a hurdle for me to phone a stranger, so I put it off. Until the invitation gets buried somewhere. Makes me feel bad, but then lots of people don't respond when I send out invites. I see it as Karma and prepare for full numbers to turn up.
Caveat: I would make sure to reply (or chase replies) if it was a booked event where exact numbers are important.

Sorry for double post, slow computer!

Grrr this really irritates me. I think it is really rude not to reply with a simple yes or no.
Really liz70 ? That is totally back to front

I think you should put "Please reply by .(date). or I will assume you can't make it" a bit rude but who cares

HelHH It should not be a hurdle to send a simple text message. Some excuses I can understand. Yours, not.

Very bad manners not to RSVP and rude and entitled just to turn up without letting the host know you're coming.

That said invitations don't always get delivered if handed out at school or nursery so I usually book something where it doesn't matter if there's an extra one or two and do a couple of spare party bags for dh and me

Turning up with extra siblings without checking if it's ok first is definitely NOT ON.

Don't be surprised when the invitations start to dry up, HelHH, when people get pissed off wasting a place on someone who hasn't the manners to let them know they won't be using it.
It's not for you to decide when and where "exact numbers are important"

HelHH - I hate using the phone, so I always text to RSVP. "MiniTick would love to come to Y's party, thank you for inviting him". Or "So sorry MiniTick can't come to Y's party, thank you for inviting him". No conversation, no small talk, job done.

Every invite I get has an RSVP by X date but not whether or not I can drop off or bring another child* to the venue without issue. I always without fail leave it to the last minute by which time I have usually been chased a few times.

I have other children and a husband who is often on call at weekends and is useless at putting anything work related in the diary so I often don't know if I will have cover for other children.

My invites go out with:
A clear date for reply
Email and mobile numbers for response
A clear declaration on whether siblings are welcome and if drop off is ok
Request for allergy or other info.

*sometimes its obvious from the venue/activity but more times it isn't and it's always a huge relief to know that there is flexibility.

No siblings ever (but then I only do small parties), I don't even like parents staying. Just bring the invited child to the party, at the specifed time and collect them at the end. If that doesn't work for you, then either talk to the host or decline the invitation.
Don't just sit on it, wondering to yourself.

No RSVP = not attending. It also = very rude

Wow amazingly rude to not reply then just turn up! I understand we're all busy etc and forget from time to time but if you forget to reply then surely that means you've not accepted and so don't go?!

Definitely assume no response is not coming then passive aggressive comments to the parent if they do randomly turn up anyway. "Oh I'm so sorry I must have missed your message saying DC come come... I'm sure we can rustle up enough food if they share sandwiches, there's no party bag as didn't think coming...."

Why would you be in a dilemma as to whether you can bring an univited child or not? It's bloody obvious to me that the invitation is for the named child only, not a general shoutout for a rent a crowd

I always put "can you please reply by X date" so there can be no misunderstanding about what RSVP means, I find an actual date is quite helpful in getting replies.

I would not assume that no reply means they are coming and they would only reply to say no. I've never had this before.

To not reply then turn up would be very rude and I wouldn't be happy about it. Of course I wouldn't take it out on the child though as it isn't their fault.

Same as flogging, I find the issue of turning up with bloody siblings worse than replies these days. Gets right on my nerves. The party is for my birthday child and their friends, not random brothers and sisters that they aren't friends with. If you have other children, then drop your child off or turn down the invite. There should never be a dilemma about it unless you can ask the parent if sibling can come and sit with you if it's a hall type party. I've done that once and took the tablet for DS to play on and some snacks for him. I have a parent in each of my DCs class that turns up with her DP and all 3 children to every party, the oldest child is a teenager and has no reason to be there but they still all rock up and eat a substantial amount of food as well. It's very rude.

No RSVP may mean someone can't be bothered to send a text, which is rude, of course.

But it could also mean that the invitation didn't make it home for some reason. So it's kind to ask non-repliers whether they received it. They may have heard about the party but think they weren't invited and not like to ask.

Am astounded that anyone thinks it is ok to leave replying to the last minute and after they have been chased several times but it is rude of the other person not to state on the invite whether they can bring siblings and whether parents have to stay

Entitled much?!

Baffling isn't it NynaevesSister. As it happens I've not been personally invited to the Queen's small birthday do today. However I've seen it's on because it's been on the papers so I'll just turn up any way with my family because nobody has expressly told me I and my children are not invited. Because as everybody knows the whole world revolves around me

HelHH what on earth stops you texting? Phone calls are not expected but texts are!
Liz you're entirely wrong. You respond either way. Not responding then turning up is horribly rude.