"The Mummies on the Bus go chatter, chatter chatter" Really?

[BespokeStereophonicVinyl]

So, I attend a regular nursery rhyme session at my local library and 'The Wheels on the Bus' now seems to comprise the above delight, together with the equally offensive "The Daddies on the bus go shush, shush, shush"

I'm really bristling at this example of everyday sexism. Yes, I am a mother, but I am also educated to Post Grad level and have a bunch of fairly heavyweight professional qualifications too. Prior to having DD, I held a senior position in a very male dominated field and really resent the implication that when a woman (who may or may not have children) speaks, it should be assumed that it is mere 'chatter'. I'm also really unhappy with the idea that a big manly man has to step in to shut up all these hysterically chattering women, otherwise where would the world be, eh?

AIBU to take this up with the library/council? I just don't want DD to face the same constant battle that I did, to be taken seriously in life just because she's a woman. I think we owe it to the next generation to challenge this trivialisation of women's opinions.

I used to work in a library and do storytime and I did think that it was sexist - we did use the mummies chatter and daddies shush version. But the kids liked it. I can't get too upset about it but it can't be that hard to come up with a different version. I don't think the chatting is a bad thing but being told to shut up by the men is.

I don't chat on the bus - well I rarely go on one. And when I go on the train I put headphones on and listen to music! Like most of the rest of the train so maybe we should sing about everyone plugging themselves into their electronic devices instead!

On balance, and having sung this song many times with young children, I think it's good that chattering to one another is being highlighted as an everyday activity. We really need to be encouraging communication and language skills in our young children. Singing is a great way to do this, alongside many play opportunities, and conversations with adults.
I also don't think you can really make a case that the Daddies are saying "shush" to the Mummies, more to the wriggly children and crying babies surely?

But as I said in my earlier post about the sex/gender of animals in children's stories (nearly always male) I think these things do matter. Just that I don't think there's much of a case to answer on this one.

This is just as ridiculous as when my toddler group tried to change the words to baba black sheep.

Nice assumption there foragogo. Haven't experienced the damage have we not? I'm probably not speaking for myself when I say you're talking a bit of shit. I'm not going to play top trumps but I've been raped, sexually assaulted on numerous occasions by different men including when I was a child, been punched by an ex partner and emotionally abused. On a day to day basis I get men asking me why I'm not a nurse and telling me they want a male to tend to them, called 'sweetheart' and sometimes cat called. Groped by patients... But yes clearly all us lot who aren't professionally offended have never experienced the damage of sexism.

And also there's absolutely no need to sneer. Why the "oh you're looking for something to be offended by" "FGS such a tiny thing really doesn't matter". That's quite aggressive and "mansplaining"-y too.

It's like if you don't think this matters, you need to put down and belittle women who do. Doesn't that worry you? Where does that urge come from?

We could be having a conversation like this:

OP: I don't like this, I think it's sexist and it pisses me off.

Poster X: I agree with you. blah blah

Poster Y: I don't agree, I don't think that's sexist really and here's why...

A rational adult conversation. Why does it have to be so sneery instead? Why do you have to be right that it doesn't matter and make out that the OP is being precious or snooty?

I'm sneery because it annoys me no end when privileged women (and yes I'm one of them) pull themselves into knots to find something that's apparently oppressing them.

OK Rhombus I'll bite.

I don't agree that this is sexist because.....

People (Mums included) chatter on buses. They pass the time of day and talk about trivial things. They may also talk about weightier issues, but given that buses are noisy, bustling and passengers are generally not on them for all that long, chatter is probably the main form of communication. There's nothing wrong with that. By saying the Mums chatter on a bus nobody is suggesting that they are not capable of higher forms of communication.

That do you?

It's just an example of low level mysogynism in our society. Quite honestly I wouldn't be offended at it but concerned. It's just implementing sexist stereo types in a really "innocent" way

Why would you change the words on The Grand Old Duke of York. He was male and a real person leading an army of (shock horror) men you know. It's a song about an historical event. I think Crimean War.

Daddies on the bus go 'not all men, not all men, not all men'

Have we got to reword every single nursery rhyme now just in case?

I agree 1950sMum and to young children I think chattering is just a different word for talking, and as I mentioned before I think that's all good and needs promoting in young children's concept of the world - people enjoying talking with one another.
It's a good active song - everyone using the time available to them to do pretty positive things on the whole. I used to have the Daddies reading the paper which doesn't scan that well, but again reading is something we'd want to encourage generally, and avoids having them tell everyone (mainly the children I think) to be quiet one way or the other. My favourite one apart from doors open and close and ringing the bell was driver says "tickets please" then hold out your hand for children to clap your hand to buy their ticket.

Have we got to reword every single nursery rhyme now just in case?

Apparently so!

Miss polly a dolly could be mister bolly had a dolly.. You know equal rights and all that jazz

I have to get all this sorted before any DGC arrive Need.

'All the king's horses and all the king's women' sounds a bit wrong though.

When my DCs were at playgroup it was 'the Daddies on the bus go nod, nod, nod' - they don't listen do they?!

Sexism is so ingrained, I recall seeing playgroup children telling the boy being the Dad that he couldn't pretend to do the ironing as "Daddies just sit and do nothing"

I honestly can't see what is sexist by the wheels on the bus though

The mummies chatter
The babies cry
The children make too much noise
So the daddies go shh shh shh

It's involving the nuclear family and everyone has an action.

Or will we start leaving out mum/dad for single parents

Thanks Grays i wasn't sure what I was being accused of there.

The mummies chatter
The babies cry
The children make too much noise
So the daddies go shh shh shh

That implies the daddies are still the boss of the household, telling everyone to be quiet.

That implies the daddies are still the boss of the household, telling everyone to be quiet.

Does it?

I read it as the daddies being actively involved in childcare. Which is a good thing!