To be pissed off over birthday.

[Verticalvenetianblinds]

Nc coz dh knows I'm a regular....
It was my birthday, a big deal for me, not a special number, I just love birthdays, dh doesn't like celebrating his.
Last week a lady that works for him (for 6 months) left, they get on v well. He bought her 3 presents and a personalised moonpig card. She shares his sense of humour so it was easy to get her something perfect, we are more opposites attract. I got one present (a pretty bowl) and a card from the card draw (yes we have a card draw) that I'd bought. He didn't even get ds's input, just bought it online (and it's nice, I am grateful, it's just not very thought about....)
He was out with mates all day Saturday, spent Sunday recovering. Is out this Saturday so expect weekend to follow the same pattern and he wants to take me out next Saturday with his friends to a country pub (glorified taxi tho I feel, I don't really drink so end up being des.)
I know I sound really ungrateful and spoilt but I wanted something a bit more personal, no cuddling last night either. I am jealous he out so much thought into her leaving present but please no 'ltb'! We've been together 7years. This year I bought him a hot air balloon ride.
Didn't even get a cake, making my own today!
Aibu to feel pissed off about this, I know it's a first world problem but it's hurt my feelings.
And I've got to tell dm what he bought me and I know she'll be as disappointed and then moan about him (a regular occurrence which I despise and end up making excuses for him. She knows he was out at the weekend and said why do I let him?!)

Why did he buy three presents for someone who has only been there 6 months?

Did someone say hubs? HUBS? Seriousky?

To the question in hand

Why is your mum always moaning about him op? What else does he do or not do?

I don't see anything wrong here & the two sets of circumstances have nothing to do with her. I've worked on projects with people, where I've had to work intense hours & you do form bonds with people, so I think the length of time the other person worked with him is irrelevant. I suggest you speak to him though if it's bothering you. He'll think he's done nothing wrong though I think

Neither of us are that bothered about bdays.

But, a card (not from a card drawer!) is always given.

Present may only be a token if neither the giver nor receiver can think of anything.

A meal out would more than likely happen on or near the bday though & tbh I would expect a day(?) of drinking with mates to be given up if it was a regular occurance.

Have you actually told him?

My DH used to do this to me!! We make a fuss over kids birthdays and it's nice for them to be involved and return a cake and hand made card -

I feel your disappointment - it used to make me cry - it got to a point of saying "don't bother" for him to get it!
^^
Its like you make all the effort for everyone else - but it's not returned

Happy Birthday from me

Would you be happy if he was moaning to his mum about you?

You need to talk to him and tell him what you expect and not moan about it behind his back.

*Today 07:37 RJnomore1

Did someone say hubs? HUBS? SeriouskY?*

No-one said anything. I WROTE hubs as an abbreviation of husband. And you have a problem with that? Good grief some people are so judgy. This is just an informal online forum where MOST people don't care about little things like that or not spelling seriously correctly.

As if I would say hubs out loud.

Now move on there are a ton of people on the Internet you haven't made judgy comments about yet.

Hubs?

faints

I think if it's important, you need to tell him it's important. If it really bothers you- next year, just say "I think for my birthday I'd like to have dinner at X. Could you book it please?"

I can understand why youre so annoyed - hes shown you that its not that hes incapable of really putting thought and effort into presents, just that hes not bothering to do it for you.

I think I would be asking where my other two presents were...

It took my friend to improve mine. She gave my husband an earful when he bought me something everyday for the kitchen one Christmas. Since then he has been a lot better though he was away for this birthday and I haven't had anything. It was 10 days ago, he's been home a week. Our anniversary is near and he has booked a few nights away so it is probably meant to be for both although I did ask for something this year for a course I am doing. He always says he doesn't hold much store with birthdays and then one year I said " Well I do! " He's been a bit better since. Some years I have had really lovely presents like a ring. I nearly fell over with shock.
I would just buy him something small next time and nearer to your next birthday mention some ideas presents that friends got ...make them up or ask on here. Drop hints, leave magazines open or just have a frank discussion with him.
I would feel upset in your shoes too. He may have had a whip-round to spend for the woman at work.

I'd be pissed off too. I think most people would. The only thing that would make it better is if he'd done a collection and that's why he could buy some nice things for her. If he's shit every birthday then it needs talking about so you don't feel resentful.

Why would you give someone three presents... 😐

Hubs.... Oh dear.

I would be seriously pissed off if I got a card from the drawer yet work colleague got personalised card and thoughtful gifts, no matter how 'in tune' they are.
Don't sit and stew about it, spell it out to him!

I'd be really pissed off and really worried if my DH had put so much effort,thought and money into gifts and a card for another Woman he'd known for 6 months other his wife,I wouldn't call that normal!

I understand why you are annoyed. You feel that he put a lot of effort and thought into the colleagues presents (and probably spent more on them than you too) and you were just an afterthought.

If you feel you can, tell him, don't let it fester. You'll only grow to resent him.