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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To keep lottery winnings to myself

50 replies

Pixienott0005 · 19/04/2016 20:57

I've won £30 on the lottery, woohoo lol. But I really want to buy a new dress for a much needed night out. We are a bit hard up at the minute, I haven't bought anything for months and months, everything goes on baby. I know if I told dp he'd want to go for a meal as we rarely go or say put it towards shopping, but I really need a new outfit to go out in!! Aibu?

OP posts:

RealityCheque · 19/04/2016 22:32

Yes rockabella, why not LIE to your partner?

Seriously, why the fuck is it OK for a woman to bullshit her partner about money? If this were the other way round things would be different:

"I've won £30 on the grand national sweepstake, woohoo lol. I really want to go for a round of golf with the lads. We are a bit hard up at the minute, I haven't bought anything for months and months, everything goes on baby. I know if I told dw she would want to go for a meal as we rarely go or say put it towards shopping, but I really need to play some golf!! Aibu?"

"Don't worry, mate. Treat yourself to the round of golf and just tell the missus that you had a voucher to get you a game for a fiver - she won't have a clue!!! Sweet, lol"

CakeNinja · 19/04/2016 22:33

Even just boggling at a meal out for £30

Op I thought you were going to say you'd won 5K and didn't want to share it, £30? Buy your bloody dress!

Bogeyface · 19/04/2016 22:35

A pub meal somewhere is perfectly doable for £30.

bumbleymummy · 19/04/2016 22:36

I'm with Reality on this. I agree that the responses would be different if this was the other way around. I don't think you should lie.

NapQueen · 19/04/2016 22:38

I'd just say to dh "oooo my lottery ticket won! I had my eye on a dress and stopped myself but now I've essentially won it whoop!" And my dh would say "oooo lucky you"

roarfeckingroar · 19/04/2016 22:42

Jesus, it's £30. Buy the dress.

Patapouf · 19/04/2016 22:42

Ablsolutely do not lie.

Will your child go without if you spend the money on yourself? Will you be short on bills because of your night out? If so, surely it would make more sense to put the money in the family pot?

Therealyellowwiggle · 19/04/2016 22:44

A woman on ML is economically very dependant on her partner. As women are/have been for centuries. The OP doesn't say if the dh has been being as frugal as her. It sounds like if told about it, what he wants is what will happen. Why should she be overruled? IF a joint ticket, splitting it £15 each is only fair way. If you found a pound in the street, would you make sure your dh got 50p?

Orwellschild · 19/04/2016 22:56

Took about 15 posts for the "will your child starve" / "wasting money on lottery" responses.
Excellent support.

mrsmeerkat · 19/04/2016 22:59

I would get the dress. I don't think it is double standards. Having babies and all the added stress.. 30 pound is hardly unjustified

quencher · 19/04/2016 23:11

When can I send the begging letter ? I could give you a 20 page reason.

It doesn't sound like op will get her way if she tells him. With this one I would go for the dress and not say a word.

Theimpossiblegirl · 19/04/2016 23:14

Reality said about the golf is spot on. If money is tight, the £30 should benefit the family. Also, the lying is wrong.

rockabella · 20/04/2016 00:42

Others suggested lying about the cost of the dress by saying it was a charity shop bargain, don't see how that is any different! The OP has suggested not even telling her partner about winning the money at all.

Eating out and buying nice clothing doesn't need to be expensive, of course this is slightly dependant on area but myself and my DP regularly get a pub lunch for less than £15 including drinks as its a mid-week deal.

I just thought since it sounds like they are in a tight situation it might be nice to use the money to treat both of them and have the OP get a wee nice thing for herself too!

NameChange30 · 20/04/2016 01:02

Isn't your partner going to a stag doo do in Amsterdam?!

If so he can hardly begrudge you spending a £30 lottery win on yourself.

Given that money is tight, I'm assuming your income is modest, so you and your partner would probably be entitled to child tax credits (and maybe working tax credits too). If you're not getting them, I suggest you apply - more info here:
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/children-and-young-people/benefits-for-families-and-children/#h-child-tax-credit

Aussiemum78 · 20/04/2016 01:07

um shouldn't family money go towards necessities like clothes?

Its not like you are spending 3000 pounds on a new wardrobe and neglecting the electricitiy bill, you are buying a dress instead of a meal.

Both items are hardly major items.

FelicityR313 · 20/04/2016 01:14

FFS get the dress. Ignore the 'family money' crew. They wouldn't be advising their mates down the Nags Head not to be spending 'family money' on a round. Women never treat themselves. Men don't consider any spending they do as treating themselves.

FastWindow · 20/04/2016 01:17

Buy the dress. If dh would say spend it on a meal out, that's his opinion. But then its gone.

OnYerBikePan · 20/04/2016 01:36

if you send the money to me then there will be no debate to be had, and we can all sleep well. I will PM you my address.

not really

Bogeyface · 20/04/2016 02:02

Given that one of the reasons money is tight is presumably the stag doo you OH is going on in Amsterdam that emma mentioned, buy the dress.

But fwiw, you might want to go back and update on that thread!

iminshock · 20/04/2016 02:07

This is mumsnet. ITS FAMILY MONEY .Dont you know the rules. ?

Fuck that and buy the dress

FastWindow · 20/04/2016 02:12

Just not one from China. Horrors.

curren · 20/04/2016 05:48

It totally depends.

If your dh did the same, won a bit of money and spent it on himself, would you be ok with that?

If so crack on. Every couple is different. Some would mind, some would.

It really depends on your view on money. I don't play the lottery. Dh dues occasionally. If he had a small win, it wouldn't enter my head that it was in part mine.

debbiedidit · 20/04/2016 10:38

This thread has been tweeted by the MN account which I think is a bit off considering the delicate backstory

NameChange30 · 20/04/2016 10:41

Anyone who clicks is probably going to be disappointed when they realise it's only £30!

Pinkheart5915 · 20/04/2016 10:44

I don't think it's unreasonable.
Your dress and handbag was so cheap why not just say to dh you won £30 and you brought a new cheap dress for the party, how could he mind.

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