To ask if you've had a 5/6yo bed wetter

[LittleLionMansMummy]

Ds is 5, has been reliably day dry since before 3. He suffers from night terrors and we know sleeps very deeply. Every single morning without fail his night time nappy is sopping wet. We've tried lifting him and restricting drinks in the hour before bedtime, it has no effect at all. When he was 4.5 he started to say he wanted to try without his nappy so we let him. He woke up sopping wet in the morning but hadn't woken at night when he did it. After the second night of this he said he wanted to go back into nappies.

Over the weekend just gone we initiated it again and asked if he'd like to try again, he did, so we let him. The same thing has happened and he doesn't want to try again tonight. There is absolutely no pressure from us, but as he is showing no obvious signs of readiness we've wanted to see if he needed additional encouragement. I don't care about pressure from family members and have no problem explaining that his body just doesn't seem capable yet. But ds has started to ask about sleepovers and I'd hate for this to end up making him anxious. We've sort of resolved to let him stay in his nappies for now and periodically suggest trying again, but if it doesn't happen naturally with a little encouragement we'll seek help at the point it begins to worry him - at the moment he's not unduly anxious about it and we don't want to make an issue of it. He's otherwise healthy, happy, confident etc.

AIBU taking this approach? Does anyone have any advice or experience to share please? I know it's considered relatively normal up until 5, but not sure when it becomes a 'problem' (other than the sleepover issue of course).

My youngest only stopped wetting the bed last year at 6 & half. We had the 'wee diaries', checked his drinking after 6pm & finally got the night alarm, which went in his pants (2 pairs at a time) and he was dry within a month.

It took a time, but it worked in the end & even now, he'll wake himself up for his wee, rather than sleeping through - good luck!

My son is 8 and still wets. As a pp said he manages fine with sleepovers as long as I've mentioned to the mum and he knows where to dispose of his pull-up. It frustrates him but I'd hate for him to be ashamed of it. I posted a few weeks ago about possibility of taking him to doctors as I haven't gone down that route yet. It's a pain with bedding etc but not the end of the world.

Yes, those electric pants worked for my two heavy sleepers. Used them on my 2 when they were 7 and 5 and then sold them to a friend. I figured my DD would be the same as DS so when he'd finished I just used them on her for a couple of weeks and it sorted her before it became a problem. Neither of mine even woke when the bed was wet!

Lots of friends kids were still bed wetting at 7. We just sent them with pull-ups and they'd put them on in private and say it was just in case as they occasionally had an accident. I don't think anyone ever had an "accident" as they tend to be up so late anyway and the last wee is much later than usual. I did ask the parent not to give liquid after a certain time and only water after tea.

My son was almost 14 before he was reliably dry at night having been dry during the day at 2 1/2 he was still wearing pull ups at night ( luckily he was naturally thin) he had seen a specialist nurse for examination been given a bed alarm, been given medication ( his choice when he started to go on sleepovers) changed his pattern of what and when he was drinking (black current diluting juice really made things worse) we tried walking him up every night before we went to bed, nothing worked he was just slow to develop control
I was told by a specialist that boys are more likely to be latter in being dry than girls, it can be hereditary my DH was apparently about 8 before he was dry at night and that children with ASN can often be later in being dry at night (my son has ADHD).
I bought my son a big toiletries bag and put a pull up inside it so that when away from home he could go into the toilet cubicle put it on under his pjs and no one would know he would then do the reverse in the morning and pop the pull up into a nappy sack in the toiletries bag on an overnight school trip when he was 11 he was not the only one in his class wearing a pull up ( I 'd spoken to his teacher beforehand)

Dryness at night is based on a hormone kicking in that concentrates the urine meaning it will wait until morning.

If the hormone hasn't kicked in, all the tricks in the world won't help.

My otherwise benchmark-hitting daughter was wet at night at 5. She is now a very wonderful 14yo
My 6yo wears pull-ups at night.

I can't be arsed with making him feel shitty about it or lifting him. I know a few of his peers are still in pull ups.

Don't worry.
It'll happen!

DS1 is 9 and just starting to have dry nights thanks to hormone tablets and a weeing routine similar to a previous poster.

DS2 is 8 next week, he's been dry since he was 6.5.

DS3 is 5 and he's had the occasional dry night.

As suggested by previous posters, bedwetting in 5,6 and 7 year olds is common, and waiting for the issue to resolve itself with time will work in most instances, if you can manage the challenges that the bedwetting creates. Revised guidance from NICE in 2014 is clear that there is a clear benefit in actively managing/tackling the condition from 5 upwards, rather than accepting a wait until children are 7 before intervening with management strategies (as was previously the common advice). It is horrendous that the original poster should have a wait of nearly a year to get specialist advice from an enuresis clinic, when with the right intervention and support you might find you could have the problem sorted by then. As previously suggested, get in touch with ERIC - they have a telephone/email helpline and plenty of advice on their website - they might be able to help while you're waiting for the enuresis clinic appt.

DC1 had this until 8/9 yrs old. Ref to GP and clinic. It can be hormonal and if it is drugs like Desmopressin can help. Dc1 was just a very deep sleeper and so we found the alarm worked. Can also be a problem like a small bladder so lots of drinks in the day to gently stretch the bladder can help...we were told to do this and last drink 1 hr before bed.
We were also told absolutely no lifting in the night as it us you not them and their body would not learn x
Re sleepovers we bought (v expensive from Sweden over the internet) pyjama pants that looked like normal pjs and hid the wee. Worth every penny. The Eric ones were nowhere near as good or discreet.
Yanbu at all by the way.

At 5 he is pretty young for sleepovers, I wouldn't worry too much.

Regarding pull ups there are different schools of thought. The enuresis clinic advises against them as they take away the sensation of being wet. Our DD (5) refuses to wear them as they are 'ridiculous' and she 'doesn't want to be a baby' so we haven't pushed them with her.

An enuresis alarm could work, they can be bought from Amazon pretty cheaply.

I found enuresis clinic to be completely useless, as all they did was recommend the alarm, then say they didn't have the funding for it.

You will know when he is ready as his nappies will be dry.

Or at least very warm from his first morning wee...

I had a funny confusion regarding enuresis clinic.
I had taken baby dd to a breastfeeding clinic about her tongue tie. The waiting room was full of junior school sized boys. And a couple in senior uniforms.

My God son still wets once or twice a week at 10.

We decided to just go with the alarm pants as both DS and DD would both benefit and we figured the cost of all those pull-ups & washing of sheets for the 2+ years probably would pay for itself. Not to mention less for landfill. And for the sake of our sanity! Up nearly every night to change a wet bed takes its toll.
DD learnt in 2 weeks even though she is an extremely deep sleeper.

Another tip we tried that no one else has mentioned yet is when your child needs a wee during the day is to get them to hold on for a minute extra. DD always held on to the last minute so as I caught her as she was running to the toilet and get her to wait. Supposed to stretch the bladder!

My eldest was about 7 and youngest was closer to 9/10. We bought an alarm and used it with the younger one and that worked. Also recommended to stop drinks with orange/citrus e.g. orange squash.