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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think husband's spending is excessive!

363 replies

CornishDoll82 · 18/04/2016 07:44

We need to cut back on spending as I'm still on maternity leave and going back part time hence losing a chunk of salary. My husband does the food and grocery shopping for the week and I've realised he's spending around £220. I think this is massively excessive and we should be able to do it on about £120 therefore saving us £400 a month - but he's insisting this is normal and it would be hard to cut it. There are us two and a 11 month old baby.

Who's right? What do you spend?

OP posts:
spankhurst · 18/04/2016 15:00

3 of us, weekly shop about £80. We eat well but not particularly extravagantly.

parissont · 18/04/2016 15:00

SIXTEEN QUID FOR TWO STEAKS faints

Decent sirloin steaks were £3 each in Asda last week

BiddyPop · 18/04/2016 15:04

If you are buying lots of things to assemble - do you buy veg pre-prepared as well? Because I know on really bad nights, I will run into M&S for ready to cook stuff and pay over twice what I pay to get it un-prepped. But if I know the night before that it will be manic, I will peel and slice my onion and put that in a plastic tub, and the same with any other veggies (say diced peppers, peeled and sliced carrots in water, sliced courgettes, and a clove of garlic in with the onion to slice while onion cooks). I try to have the meat ready (sliced etc, and sometimes throw a marinade over it) in a freezer bag in the fridge - to just pour into the pan when ready. And a pouch/jar of sauce to pour over. Or a bag of frozen prawns and handful of frozen peas can be thrown in with a pouch of sauce if I have otherwise not prepared.

When DH cooks at the weekends, make enough to freeze a few spares and slowly build up a nice mix for DC.

While you are off, try to learn a few more things to cook yourself - but start with lunches and be your own guinea pig if you don't want to expose DH to it at the start. Maybe keep some pasta from the night before, and cook a rasher and some mushrooms, and make a carbonara or cream sauce to go with it (carbonara is so fast and easy, I only learned it recently but: mix together an egg and some cream, season generously (less salt if using bacon), and add a decent handful parmesan - cook pasta, drain (keeping a cup of boiling water to the side), pour in sauce mix, stir together allowing existing heat to "cook" it, use a few spoons of pasta water if it gets too thick, put the pot back on the heat if you need to cook it a little more just be careful to keep stirring and not get as far as "scrambled eggs" rather than sauce - chuck in your bacon/mushrooms, serve.)

Or a basic tomato sauce which can be the base of so many things - and if you freeze in flat freezer bags in portions of 1-2 cups, it defrosts in minutes. You can add seasonings, veggies and meat to it once defrosted to change it up a lot, making it Italian or Mexican, but quick and easy.

Mini bottles of wine are expensive - would the person they are for have the willpower to stop after the glass that's in them if it were a bigger bottle? Best would be a box, as while it's big, there's no air getting in so it lasts a long time even when opened. But a "normal" bottle, holding 3 mini-bottles, easily lasts a week if capped again and kept cool (fridge for white, just cool corner for red). And could save a bit.

Washing powder capsules is expensive, yes, but it depends on the space you have available. I know we only have a small shelf to take bio/nonbio/softener and the colourcatchers etc as well, so we use tablets/pouches. Just can't fit big boxes of powder. But I occasionally use the bottle of liquid detergent instead, and at least that I can reduce the amount in a wash where clothes are not so dirty.

The same for cleaning things, washing up liquid, toilet rolls etc. Many of the lesser brands are fine, and while I still use Fairy for dishes as it does seem to work best for grease, I use own brand (but the luxury version) toilet roll which is quite a bit cheaper. You don't necessarily have to go from the top priced brands and options to the absolute basic to make pretty decent savings - just drop one level at a time until you decide that, nope, I think the 1 step up from this is the level we want to stay at.

FlopIsMyParentingGuru · 18/04/2016 15:07

We've found morrisons really reliable on their online deliveries. It's unusual to have substitutions and they text you them in advance if there are any, so you can decide before if you want the substitution or not.
We spend between £70 and £100 including most toiletries, one child's nappies.
There are 4 of us but I do work hard to economise. But that will often include a roast of some kind

Fluffycloudland77 · 18/04/2016 15:10

£40-50 a week for two of us and a cat who only eats pate food. But I shop at aldi & can be in and out in 20 minutes.

Ocado own brand stuff isn't very good quality. My relatives worked there, think sports direct 🙈

Georgina1975 · 18/04/2016 15:12

We are 2 adults and 1 dc.

Shop with Sainsburys online at £85pw (cannot say I watch the budget either)
Meat from Donald Russell at £90 every two months - usually stuff "on offer". Mainly mince, casserole steak, chicken breaks and sausages. Their mince elevates bolognese, chilli etc (proper mince - not those weird strings).

Georgina1975 · 18/04/2016 15:13

"Chicken breasts", even.

Eustace2016 · 18/04/2016 15:14

The simple answer is go back full time ASAP and then things will be easier both now and longer term.

There is never a right answer as to what people spend of course but best to spend what you can afford only. I earn quite a bit and I don't really limit what we spend for four but it would not often be over £200 a week including toileteries and cleaning stuff.

BluebellGal · 18/04/2016 15:20

£220 is a LOT of money. We spend £60 a week. Have had to cut our cloth differently due to financial changes. We cook from scratch using dried herbs so I think that is what helps us save money.

We ditched the supermarket weekly shop, saved loads and eat much better now.

The £60 per week includes a monthly online supermarket shop for bulk purchase of tins, pasta, basics. We spend £50 at the butchers once a month and freeze. £10 per week on a local veg box and substitute with more fruit /veg from local grocers (£6-8 pw). Our milk man delivers milk, yoghurt and eggs (we spend around £10 pw). Get an organic bread delivery £3-4 p/w for 2 loaves.

I have a spreadsheet with every item listed. Yes I am sad. Now it's all set up, it's much less effort than going to the supermarket.

I don't agree with how the price of milk has fallen - supermarkets are making farmers suffer to get more people through their doors. 89p for 4 pints is outrageous - that's cheaper than bottled water. Now we don't go to the supermarket to buy milk, we spend less.

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/04/2016 15:22

harlot what is magic chicken?

Looked at £1 a day. Looks depressing -:(

basically living off sausages - I may be a total snob here but would worry what would be in them - 20 for £1

We get ours from malpass - think £10 for lots of long ones - or coop 2 for £5 abs think 6 in a packet so 12 and taste nice

And a yog for breakfast wouldnt fill me up

Tho guess if money was really tight it proves you can eat - on a budget - maybe could cope for a week on that menu - but not perm

I do love lidl. Say it on many food threads. Good value and Tastes nice - pasta jar sauces are practically a £1 cheaper per jar

Bread 47p and tastes nice compared to at coop and £1/1.50 per loaf

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/04/2016 15:23

P's dd can eat whatever you have to tea but have the following night heated up

Melbournemel · 18/04/2016 15:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HermioneJeanGranger · 18/04/2016 15:26

That's what I spend a MONTH on two adults and two very fussy cats. It includes all toiletries, cleaning products, cat food, cat litter and alcohol. That also includes top-ups.

I do a big shop at Aldi and then do a smaller online Tesco shop for things like cat food (cats won't eat Aldi own-brand) and Diet Coke once a month.

And £16 for two steaks? You could buy three 2 packs of steaks in Asda for a tenner if you wanted.

OvertiredandConfused · 18/04/2016 15:27

I shop at Ocado. 2 adults, 2 teenagers. I always get a few bottles of wine, branded soft drinks for DC, cleaning stuff and shampoo etc as needed. We eat at least three red meat meals a week and have a lot of expensive fresh soft fruit.

Even all that I balk if I go over £125 and usually keep it around £100.

BarbaraofSeville · 18/04/2016 15:29

There's a very big gap between £1 a day and £220 a week. I think it's supposed to be £1 per person per day, which for the OP, would be £63 per week, which would buy plenty more than cheap and nasty sausages and starvation breakfasts.

The Magic Chicken is a sarcastic response to anyone who suggests that a chicken might form more than one meal.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 18/04/2016 15:33

4 steaks in Aldi for 6 quid!

notonyurjellybellynelly · 18/04/2016 15:34

Where do you find Ocado?

I can't recall seeing one anywhere when in the Uk.

coffeeisnectar · 18/04/2016 15:44

I'm agog at his ability to spend that much every single week.

I would struggle to find enough things to buy.

We shop at Asda, Aldi, Lidl, local butches, greengrocers and a local bulk warehouse for things like crisps. I also use Amazon for repeat orders such as cat food, cat litter, washing powder, diluting juice, coffee and curry sauce (curry sauce is the one sauce I can't seem to master making myself)

I estimate I spend about £85 a week including all these for two adults, one teenager and one 10 year old plus 4 cats and about a hundred fish (which need four different types of food between them).

I cook from scratch nearly all the time, the odd meal is a pre-made pie which will be eaten with mash and veg.

I just can't get my head round this. Even buying everything branded I'd struggle to spend that every week.

OutToGetYou · 18/04/2016 15:49

Ocado is online only.

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/04/2016 16:33

Oh @magic chicken Blush

Tho we did have a roast chicken last weekend and then chicken sandwich for lunch one day and left over scraps I added to pasta and sauce

Guess that chicken was magic as lasted 3 meals Grin

Tho not lucky as ended up in our oven

Eustace2016 · 18/04/2016 16:47

Here is a recent £127 Tesco order of ours. The 3 boys also go to Waitrose 2 or 3 times a week for fruit and meat so we usually are up to about £200 but I think not often over.

Quantity Product Price Total
1 Lurpak Slightly Salted Spreadable 1Kg £6.20 £6.20
2 John West Smoked Oysters Sunflower Oil 85G £1.99 £3.98
1 Tesco Organic Spinach 200G £1.50 £1.50
1 Colgate Advanced White Toothpaste 100Ml £3.00 £3.00
1 Mr Muscle Kitchen And Bath Drain Gel 500Ml £3.00 £3.00
1 Oral B Essential Floss Mint Waxed 50M £2.00 £2.00
1 Tesco Dish Cloth 4 Pack £1.80 £1.80
2 Simple Kind To Skin Replenishing Rich Moisturiser 125Ml £2.00 £4.00
1 Dove Original Beauty Cream Bar 4 X 100G £2.60 £2.60
1 Tesco Green Peppers Each £0.60 £0.60
1 Tesco Red Peppers Each £0.60 £0.60
1 Finish Liquid Gel Lemon 1 Litre £4.00 £4.00
2 Tesco Free Range Eggs Large ! Box Of 12 £2.25 £4.50
1 Heinz Baked Beans 3X200g £1.55 £1.55
1 Comfort Blue Fabric Conditioner 85 Wash 3L £3.00 £3.00
1 Plenty Kitchen Towel Fat 4 Roll £5.80 £5.80
1 Tesco Organic 2 Salmon Fillets £6.25 £6.25
2 Tesco Ready To Eat Large Avocados Each £1.00 £2.00
2 John West Foods Limited Boneless Sardines In Olive Oil 95G £0.99 £1.98
4 Tesco Smoked Back Bacon 2X300g £4.00 £16.00
1 Persil Non Biological Washing Capsules 35 Wash 920G £10.00 £10.00
1 Tampax Cardboard Applicator Regular 20 Tampons £1.70 £1.70
1 Tesco Organic Cucumber Ht £1.00 £1.00
2 Youngs Chip Shop 4 Large Cod Fillets 480G £4.00 £8.00
1 Pantene Smooth And Sleek Conditioner 360Ml £3.99 £3.99
2 Pantene Smooth And Sleek Shampoo 400Ml £3.99 £7.98
1 Tesco Dishwasher Rinse Aid Citrus 400Ml £1.25 £1.25
1 John West Tuna Chunks Sunflower Oil4x160g £3.00 £3.00
1 Alpro Fresh Unsweetened Almond Milk Alternative 1 Litre £1.80 £1.80
1 Tesco Mixed Peppers 3 Pack 500G £0.99 £0.99
1 Tesco Tender Stem Broccoli 220G £2.00 £2.00
2 Tesco Vegetable And Beansprout Stir Fry 333G £1.00 £2.00
1 Tesco Tender Stem Tips 120G £1.40 £1.40
1 Tesco Courgettes Pre Packed 500G £1.00 £1.00
1 Tesco King Prawn Seafood Selection 200G £3.50 £3.50
1 Andrex Toilet Tissue 9 Roll White £4.50 &#! 163;4.50
1 Fairy Original Washing Up Liquid 500Ml £1.50 £1.50

HippyChickMama · 18/04/2016 16:48

We spend around £100 a week on Asda online shop for me, gluten free dh, ds(8) and dd(2) and that includes all nappies, toiletries, cleaning stuff etc. I meal plan, we only buy one bottle of wine a week and we eat vegetarian at least 3 times a week. I could probably, and have in the past, reduce that to £60 a week. Op, we eat steak every couple of weeks and for two decent rib eye steaks in Asda it is £7. I do cook mostly from scratch and we all eat well. At 11 months old there is no need to buy separate food for your daughter, she can eat what you eat minus the wine . Those Ella's pouches are a complete waste of money and eating the equivalent whole fruit would be better for her too. You could easily halve your weekly shopping bill.

Snog · 18/04/2016 16:50

Barbara how is £1 per person per day equal to £63 per week?!!
£1 X 7 days X 3 people = £21 per week

tabulahrasa · 18/04/2016 16:54

I think they've worked it out at £1 a meal per person per day...

Snog · 18/04/2016 17:05

If you dh is in charge of shopping and he is happy with his current spending can you articulate exactly what problems it creates for you?

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