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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think husband's spending is excessive!

363 replies

CornishDoll82 · 18/04/2016 07:44

We need to cut back on spending as I'm still on maternity leave and going back part time hence losing a chunk of salary. My husband does the food and grocery shopping for the week and I've realised he's spending around £220. I think this is massively excessive and we should be able to do it on about £120 therefore saving us £400 a month - but he's insisting this is normal and it would be hard to cut it. There are us two and a 11 month old baby.

Who's right? What do you spend?

OP posts:
LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 18/04/2016 09:10

There are 5 of us (2 adults and 3 hungry preteens) and we spend about £120pw. Mostly Sainsburys and Waitrose, although that doesn't include wine.

We eat really well but don't eat posh steak every week though!

I am sure you can reduce the amount you're spending.

MyBreadIsEggy · 18/04/2016 09:11

There's me, DH bottomless pit and 11mo DD in our house.
We do a big meat order at the start of the month from an online butcher, which then gets delivered to the house - costs £55 and lasts the whole month, I do buy extra fish from Aldi a few times a month though.
Then we spend no more than £50 a week on the rest of the groceries in Aldi - that's including nappies.
We probably spend around £20 every couple of weeks on toiletries.
Your DH is spending an awful lot for 3 of you Confused
And just saw that your baby is the same age as mine - we are slowly beginning the transition from formula to cows milk, so a tub of formula is lasting twice as long. Now spending £12 every two weeks on formula instead of every week.

Racheyg · 18/04/2016 09:12

There are 3 adults and 2 toddlers in my house and I spend about £120 a week this is an average over a month when buying toiletries and cleaning products.

Also I'm on a diet where I eat lots of avocados and salmon which can add up.

I also work part time so a budget is a must. Maybe offer to take it off your dh hands for a month and see how you do?

TiredOfSleep · 18/04/2016 09:13

How much are you spending on wine?

WellErrr · 18/04/2016 09:16

I have been to Aldi many times and have never seen any 'fighting and pushing.' Hmm

shoeaddict83 · 18/04/2016 09:20

theres 2 adults in our house and 2 children every other week (DP's kids), we spend £30 a week in Aldi or Asda and around £60 a month on very good quality meat from Musclefood delivered which lasts us the month. The around £10 a month on toiletries from either aldi, savers or asda. I dont even think i could spend close to £220 a week even around xmas with the family visiting?!!
And shop at Aldi weekly and never ever seen pushing or shoving or would describe it as a 'hell-hole' Hmm

ArmfulOfRoses · 18/04/2016 09:20

I go weekly well and I've never seen it like that either.
Not even on a skincare release week Wink

LyndaNotLinda · 18/04/2016 09:20

It's much easier to overspend when you're shopping online IME. Do you mealplan? Or cook?

I'm pretty extravagant (I buy fresh flowers and wine and only organic/free range meat) but I'd struggle to spend anywhere near that much.

Have you tried putting your weekly shop into My Supermarket and seeing if it's what you buy or where you're buying from?

Incidentally, I shop in Aldi a lot and have never seen queues out of the door or a scrum. If you go there on a day when they aren't running special offers (Sunday and Thursday), it's usually fairly peaceful.

Ladycrazycat · 18/04/2016 09:23

Gosh that is a lot! Those Charlie Bingham meals always look lovely but I'm Shock at the price!

When you are part time will you have more time to shop around? So for example we might do a big sainsburys shop once a month then pop into Waitrose and Lidl to top up of get things in particular that we like from those places. We get things like shower gel, cleaning products and toilet roll from Wilkinsons as it is much cheaper! Most snacks (nuts, biscuits, chocolate bars, muffins, bread, yogurt) come from Lidl as we (by we I mean I, I don't think my husband could care!) prefer them and a lot of them are half the price. We like to eat free range chicken as much as possible and prefer Lidl's to other supermarkets and it is much cheaper.

As an example, eight days ago we spent £50 on food. We have eaten out once together and I've eaten out once with friends but we still have about three main meal foods left no just need to stock up on fruit and snacks which will be about £15. There are two of us at the moment and I'm pregnant (with a need for a constant supply of ice lollies!)

DH has started buying wine at majestic recently and has managed to get a £10 off voucher each time which has been helpful. When I'm drinking again we'll pop to France for the day as we are in the south east so easy enough to do. They usually do an offer to get the ferry across for £25 with six free bottles of wine included. Once there the wine we would usually spend £8 a bottle for in Carre Four is about £4 a bottle so well worth the trip. Not sure if that is doable for you on the wine front from where you live.

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/04/2016 09:23

Wow. That's insane !!!

DF loves a good steak but we buy ours at local malpass and for 3 massive ones for £10

Compared to a small one from local coop for £5 - sure waitroise are more exspensive then coop

Also like ready meals but would bulk at £8 for a chilli

Buy nappies and wipes in bulk when offers on

Get wine elsewhere - must be fair amount of booze in that budget as well

Not sure how the £1 a day thing worked that someone posted not sure I want to surely can't eat decent tasty meals on that ?

Tho If can then would like a read

Link anyone? Thanks

Pollyputhtekettleon · 18/04/2016 09:24

We spend £80 max a week for a family of 5. Includes snacks, lunches, nappies, cleaning stuff and toiletries, lots of good meat and fruit and berries (expensive). Not much alcohol though! But seriously I don't know how you could spend so much! I bought 2 cases of fine wines a few weeks ago and even adding those wouldn't get me close to your DHs spending every week.

DolphinsandDinosaurs · 18/04/2016 09:24

That does sound massively excessive. What happens if you do the shopping? Can you get a weeks worth for less? We are two adults, one child, and spend about £100 a week, which seems like a lot to me. Maybe its worth considering you taking over the shopping and your DH takes on another job instead?

Mummytomonkey12 · 18/04/2016 09:26

Seems very high just on food?! Could creep up if there is lots of booze and other stuff u buy online and just lump in with the shop?!
We spend about £130ish on 3 of us but do eat really well.

Ladycrazycat · 18/04/2016 09:31

I see you 'couldn't do Aldi'. I can assure you I've never seen fighting there (maybe try a different branch). I also haven't found it to hell hole like! It can get busy depending on the time of day so learn when the busy times are at a branch and don't go then. Although Lidl is my nearest supermarket, I don't find it too much of a hardship as it means I get food I like without spending a silly amount of money which I can easily do when I'm lazy and chose to only shop at Waitrose.

Ladycrazycat · 18/04/2016 09:32

*too not to

Should have also read 'Lidl is my nearest budget supermarket'

FankEweVeryMuch · 18/04/2016 09:32

I spend between £90-£110 on ocado every week and probably £40 on extras during the week. That's for 6 of us, 2 adults, 4 kids (one is a baby who eats food).

I'm not sure I could manage to spend £220 even with booze. I find it quite easy to budget using the ocado app, I check offers and meal plan around them.

Original poster
CornishDoll82 · 18/04/2016 09:35

I did try Tesco but often they are out of stock when they deliver on essentials such as nappies and milk

OP posts:
afussyphase · 18/04/2016 09:36

Even if we ordered every single thing we could possibly consume every week from ocado there is no way the 4 of us could get through 220£, alcohol included (though we don't eat meat so if you're having 30£ of steaks every single day... ?). Do you have the pdf receipts, can you go through and work out more specifically how you're getting up to those amounts?

FankEweVeryMuch · 18/04/2016 09:36

I also must add, I could significantly reduce that if I shopped elsewhere, lidl for example which I really like but I currently have 4 kids to manage and I don't have the time or inclination to go there. Honestly £220 is a massive amount even with nappies and toiletries.

afussyphase · 18/04/2016 09:38

also ocado are almost always on time and substitutions are extremely rare, so I find them very reliable and yes, if you go to offers they are not too expensive. especially compared to 220£ a week!

MattDillonsPants · 18/04/2016 09:38

I've never once seen people "fighting and pushing" in Aldi. Hmm

If your husband can't be arsed to shop carefully...and you don't have time to...then you either have to tell your husband to change or do it yourself.

Original poster
CornishDoll82 · 18/04/2016 09:38

I'm not 'dissing' Aldi or Lidl generally and know they're good value. But my local London one really is a scrum. People weren't fighting as in fist fighting but there was a lot of pushing and shoving just to get around as it was rammed. We've been a couple of times to get nappies and it seems generally like this a lot of the time!

OP posts:
MerryMarigold · 18/04/2016 09:39

That's double my food shop for 2 adults and 3 kids (10,7,7). I also buy non foods (toiletries, loo roll, cleaning products) in my weekly shop, although occasionally would also go to a Pharmacy for items such as vitamins, meds, shaving stuff for dh, so that maybe is an extra 100.00 every 6 months.

There are lots of places who do online delivery. Even Sainsbury's wouldn't be that much. I get online delivery from Morrisons who charge 1-2.00 for delivery (I can get the 1.00 option as I'm in during the day). I have been very pleased with the service and the products.

My suggestion would be to get dh down to 150.00 a week (still more than we spend) and then to bulk buy wine separately so it's not an excuse. Also meal plan so you don't need to throw anything out. If dh is too busy whilst working full time then maybe you can do the meal plan.

dustarr73 · 18/04/2016 09:39

There's 7 of us ,4 adults and 3 kids and that's what I would spend.That's way too much for your family.