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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think husband's spending is excessive!

363 replies

CornishDoll82 · 18/04/2016 07:44

We need to cut back on spending as I'm still on maternity leave and going back part time hence losing a chunk of salary. My husband does the food and grocery shopping for the week and I've realised he's spending around £220. I think this is massively excessive and we should be able to do it on about £120 therefore saving us £400 a month - but he's insisting this is normal and it would be hard to cut it. There are us two and a 11 month old baby.

Who's right? What do you spend?

OP posts:
ArmfulOfRoses · 19/04/2016 17:06

Op you've asked for help but aren't actually willing to change anything.
Won't physically shop yourself, won't cook, won't go down a brand level.

What do you want?
£220 a week for essentially 2 adults is outrageous when you say you can't afford it.

It's not just a £2.99 bottle of juice, it's that plus branded everything, overpriced steak, (presumably a shit load of) wine and ready meals that are £8 each.

Grumpyoldblonde · 19/04/2016 17:12

You asked in the OP is this spending normal? No, I don't believe it is, we are a family of 3, eat likes kings, drink plenty of wine and don't spend a penny more than £100 on an extravagant week. And, you know,, £2.99 on a bottle of juice is a lot of money for many people. If everything is 'only £3.00' and 'only £5.00' then it all adds u to a fortune, but as others have said you don't really seem willing to do anything about it. One day you may find you have to, many of us have had to learn through necessity and plenty of people spend less in a month than you do in a week, you only have to read a few posts here to realise that.

notonyurjellybellynelly · 19/04/2016 17:16

Cornish, its ok to like nice things in your shopping basket.

Just as its ok to say that for the time being we'll have to cut back.

Maybe do an online shop together and see how you get on.

And You may find that when your income increases again that you dont go back to how you shop now, but if you do - its your money to do what you like with and you can drink as much juice and eat as much steak as you want.

.

Topseyt · 19/04/2016 17:18

£220 is utterly insane. I have just done a Tesco online shop for myself, DH and the two out of three DDs who still live at home. It was £84 and should last most of the week with perhaps a small top up locally,

I would often shop at Aldi and get most of it for about £20 cheaper, but a broken limb is currently preventing me from driving so I am using Tesco for their home delivery. In fact, my only criticism of Aldi is that it doesn't do home delivery. Can't complain for the price though, not really.

You do not need lots of branded stuff. In fact, supermarket home brands are often the same thing in different coloured packaging. Why pay more just for the sake of it?

Most of my shopping is home brand. Not value brand necessarily, although a few are. We eat pretty well.

Original poster
CornishDoll82 · 19/04/2016 17:19

Hang the fuck on

'Won't physically shop yourself, won't cook, won't go down a brand level.' I haven't said any of the latter two things. I don't want to physically shop in this day and age and with a little baby - so sue me. I said I can't cook at the moment not that I won't try and I've not even mentioned brands. I buy own brand usually anyway.

I know people struggle having to budget extremely hard for food and I'm sorry about that, as is any normal person, but it doesn't mean no one else can have a conversation about their own situation does it?

Thank you to all the people who've been helpful. We discussed this last night and are going to implement some of the ideas, it's been helpful overall.

OP posts:
EssentialHummus · 19/04/2016 17:20

OP, as I and others on here have said, you can make significant savings and still stick with Ocado. If you're feeling brave I suggest you post the whole list up for people to look at - log in to the website, go to My Ocado > Orders -> click on any order > Download PDF of that order > copy the items and paste here.

Otherwise, you can try to look at an order and group things into categories and see where your spending is high. My money is on alcohol and ready meals, but that's just speculation. Then work on cutting down / building in cheaper meals slowly.

You can do a super Ocado shop for 2 + baby for £100.

OutToGetYou · 19/04/2016 17:21

Ocado don't have an "own brand".

EssentialHummus · 19/04/2016 17:23

They do, out - you can buy Ocado branded fruit, meat, veg and probably other things besides. They try to price competitively with Essential Waitrose.

Topseyt · 19/04/2016 17:24

Aldi and Tesco both do very decent fruit juices including apple for well under £1 for a decent sized carton. If you spend £2.99 on a bottle of apple juice then you are spending at least twice and possibly three times what you need to spend.

blearynweary · 19/04/2016 17:24

I know people struggle having to budget extremely hard for food

most people on this thread have perfectly normal average expectations of what a weekly food budget is. I think if you really want to cut down you could do worse than do a lot of the things here. If you are really buying own brands then you must be spending a shitload on wine and toiletries. And I agree it sounds like your husband has fuckwit tendencies if he can't work out how to cut down on his massive food shop by himself Confused

MyBreadIsEggy · 19/04/2016 17:29

Why are you so against going shopping with the baby OP?? I use it as an excuse to get out of the house!!!

Original poster
CornishDoll82 · 19/04/2016 17:53

Mybreadiseggy and others going on about me physically shopping. Why will this make a difference to anything? Shopping online is the same price, you can think about it more, it's less stressful, it takes less time. When I go out with my baby I'd prefer to do something fun and then shop on an app when she's in bed rather than trail her round a busy supermarket as an 'outing'.

blearynweary maybe the fuckwit is the person who can't read the original post which asked if the spend was normal or excessive and didn't state anything about him not being able to work out how to cut down.....

OP posts:
Kerala2712 · 19/04/2016 17:58

Can I just say- first world problem. Really. There's no need to be horrid to OP, but it's not really a big problem is it?

Original poster
CornishDoll82 · 19/04/2016 17:59

Sorry I posted in the wrong thread. I didn't realise this was the 'big problem' thread

OP posts:
MyBreadIsEggy · 19/04/2016 18:03

Personally, I think going out shopping helps me with meal planning - if I can see the ingredients in front of me, it helps me think about what I can do with them. Plus, I'm a bit of a fruit and veg perv Blush I like to eye it up and give it a bit of a grope before I buy it so I know I'm not getting a manky mango Hmm And meat too - I like to see it and choose a "nice" bit. On the rare occasion that we but meat from the supermarket I really inspect it first - I don't trust the tesco people to pick meat that I will like the look of Blush
Now DD is 11mo too she likes to "help".....when I say help, I mean hold the broccoli, or point at the strawberries and grapes - keeps her pretty entertained!!

arethereanyleftatall · 19/04/2016 18:07

Op - you are right in that you're perfectly entitled to have a conversation about your own situation. But you're getting very defensive here against a few comments. Can you not see that this thread must make incredibly hard reading for someone who has your weekly budget for the month? And yet these people are still offering you advice as to how to reduce your spend. Which you're not really listening to.

BikeRunSki · 19/04/2016 18:08

We spend about £100 a week for 2 adults and 2 DC with sizeable appetites. We don't even shop at Aldi much! (Not snobbery, just not that convenient).

Muskateersmummy · 19/04/2016 18:17

Op I'm totally with you on the online shopping. I spend way less shopping on line because I'm not tempted away from my careful planned meal plan and shopping list. There are plenty of ways to get the bill down without carting yourself round a supermarket, if you don't want to.

GunShotResidue · 19/04/2016 18:30

Blondes I think the £1 per day is supposed to be literally £1 a day, not per meal.

Exhaustedmumoftwo · 19/04/2016 18:31

I think you should do the shop next week. Most men are like children. Or do the shop online and you can see it add up as you go.

1 adult, 2 children 12+6 and a greedy arse cat.

Food shop averages about £40-50 including everything.

I am a right skint Flint though when I need to be.

Go through your cupboard find the jars and sauces and work out what you need to make it a meal, you may have pasta and a spag Bol sauce and just need the mince. Good luck

falange · 19/04/2016 18:41

Why don't you do the shopping then?

Bogeyface · 19/04/2016 18:45

www.amazon.co.uk/The-Cookery-Year-Readers-Digest/dp/0276000471?ie=UTF8&Version=1&entries=0

OP if you are a novice cook then this is an excellent book. It groups recipes by month as a suggestion but also to take advantage of in-season foods that are cheaper at that time of year. At the front is info about cuts of meat, types of fruit, veg, fish, cheese, you name it and in the back is a whole section with basic techniques such as various types of pastry, simple cake and biscuit recipes...all sorts.

I can cook but I use this book regularly and its never failed me yet :)

Sparrowlegs248 · 19/04/2016 18:59

It mightiest to go and physically shop just once or twice, it's easier (Imo) to see what's available, what's on offer and buy something different. Online it's easy to pick your favourites and end up spending 220 again.

ElderlyKoreanLady · 19/04/2016 19:08

Please don't feel attacked OP, the majority of us are trying to help. There are many of us who would use your weekly budget for the whole month and it's those people who are best placed to help you. I posted my most recent shop up thread which might be helpful to you. If you'd like some more specific help though, it'd be helpful to see the receipt or an itemised list of what your DH buys.

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