Would this have annoyed you?

[sizeofalentil]

Just moved to a new area so DP and I registered at the local doctor.

We had our health check appointments one after another and they were carried out not by a doctor or nurse but by a Health Care Provider.

Anyway… As part of the medical history spiel I told her that I'd recently suffered a MC. She suggested, quite a few times despite my protests, that I booked in to talk to someone about it. I said no because I have a strong support group of friends and relatives and to be honest, I just want to move on. I hadn't gone there to specifically talk about the MC and told her I was obviously sad, but dealing with it. She kept going on about it and told me a lot of personal stories about her friends' experiences with mcs.

I found out afterwards that when my DP went in after me she made the connection that we were a couple and told him that she thought I should speak to someone about the mc. She also told him other (really insignificant) details about things I'd discussed with her/about my medical history. Things like what my (normal) blood pressure reading was.

Am I wrong in thinking this was actually quite out of order? She only had his word that we were a couple - he could have been my lunatic housemate or something! We're not married so don't share a surname.

Also… I really don't think she should have told him anything about my medical details/history. Or asked him to pressure me in to seeking counselling. Or actually told us personal stories about her friends' experiences.

I'm not going to put in a complaint or anything, but I was wondering if I am just overreacting to be slightly put out. DP says it's all fine as he IS my partner and he ISN'T an abusive loon or anything and I shouldn't be (even slightly) annoyed.

sizeofalentil Great plan. Address it to the practice manager.

You must raise it, though.

You should absolutely say something, what she did, even if it was well meant, is a massive breach of confidentiality.

The fact she shared this information with your DP is irrelevant, she shouldn't be discussing it with anyone unless you've expressed that you wish her to do so.

Thankfully in your case it hasn't teally mattered but if she is this thoughtless and unproffessional with other patients it could have repercussions.

I think that's a good approach, start with her good points then list your concerns. Sounds like she could get someone in big trouble or cause a lot of upset one day, and needs retraining now before that happens. If I was her friend, I'd be annoyed at her for discussing my private life with strangers too.

Definitely the practice needs informing. What happened is no way acceptable.

If you do it as a proper complaint then potentially she may get in trouble the practice has to respond within a certain time and keep a list as these need reporting on each year. Can be Very time consuming and takes clinicians away from clinical work. However this would be a fair complaint.
Alternatively you could just write a letter to the practice manager giving the information. This will be looked into hopefully training intensified. In either scenario whether she gets into trouble depends on many variables.

Yes, please do report it. Sounds like HCA meant well but stepped way out of her role and made serious Clinical Governance mistake. I'm sure the Practice Manager would be grateful as it may save them from a potentially dangerous infringement in the future.

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage but great to hear you have good support

I get the confidentiality breech, and understand your outrage. But from reading your post, I'm more worried about you and how you are about you MC. And I suspect she was too.

I work in an area where people often have to disclose bad things that have happened or are happening in their lives, and those people need support and often say "I'm fine... I'm dealing... I've got friends and family around".

Are you really, properly ok?

Yanbu please do something

Please do bring it up. I can see a number of things that my father would have used against my mother in that conversation and she'd have been beaten black and blue, which would have endangered us kids too. Also how do you have faith in her again? What if you want to speak to someone about something confidential - can you trust her? She could put people off seeking help. That's even before you get on to basic practise rules that she'll have been trained on.

You must report it OP and do it before she can cause real trouble for someone else.

With the womens aid I've helped some women escape abusive marriages in the past if she had a women come in that was in an abusive relationship/was trying to flee one she could do serious harm if she shared the women's medical details with one of they're husbands/partners and she shouldn't have been telling you about anyone else having mc neither!

I had one a few years ago and if I found out someone that had access to my records was talking about it to another patient I'd want them to be sacked!

Massive breaches of confidentiality, unprofessional, thoughtless to the point as pps have said of being potentially dangerous. She's also not maintaining any sense of professional distance if YOU'RE more worried about HER than the way she behaved in a professional and sensitive role.

Everyone working in a health centre should be professional about respecting confidentiality. Definitely let manager know that HCA needs training.

YANBU. Totally inappropriate.

I think what you suggest is a good idea, write to them but yes, explain her good. You could also explain that while you were not upset yourself you would be concerned for someone more vulnerable.

Most importantly, sorry you had to go through the MC

Re: the MC… I was obviously sad, but pragmatic about it and hopeful for the future.

It was a 'surprise' pregnancy - I'm getting married soon and we started to try for a baby before the wedding because I'm an idiot and genuinely thought it would take me 18months+ to get pregnant because I'm over 30. I got pregnant the first time we tried.

Because of the timing (wedding) I've had a lot of people around me and have spent a lot of quality time with close friends. Which helped me heal a lot quicker than normal.

I had a barrage of tests after it happened and found out that I am fertile and it was just a horrible blip. It's something I'm always going to be sad about, but it was a month ago now and have spoken to doctors about it. Just didn't feel like counselling was needed or would even be helpful to me.

I did explain this to her, so I'm not sure why she brought it up with my DP. I felt really pressured to convince her I'm ok - which is basically an impossible task when someone is convinced you're lying.

Yanbu