Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving do for year 6

31 replies

Annoyedparentofyear6dd · 15/04/2016 14:07

Our year 6 is trying to organise a leaving do. For the past couple of years the girls have left school in a limo and gone off to a meal or someone house. This is a parent organise thing and not official a school tradition. However, nearly half of our class parents are not happy with the limo. Some feel they are too young and other feel it is not safe. A few of the class really want the limo and the rest are happy either way and will do it if most of the class participate. So the organising mum's children are the ones who really want it, so they have decided to go ahead even though nearly half the class say no. This had turned into a huge fight with the parents and is completely overshadowing the event and is started to affect the girls. They argue that everyone should have be able to do what they want to do, even if it means upsetting the girls who are not able to go in the limo. I have no problems with the limo but feel we should scrap the idea and do something all girls can do. AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
CruCru · 15/04/2016 14:09

Ugh, how awkward. I don't really have any advice but - Wow! A limo! At age 11? I feel old.

PurpleDaisies · 15/04/2016 14:10

If it's completely out of school tine I don't really know what you expect to do about it. It's like having a birthday party without inviting the whole class-always going to get controversial.

Is the school involved in any way?

AppleSetsSail · 15/04/2016 14:13

A limo, in my opinion, is ridiculous and has no place in a year-6 activity. My opinion aside, it is objectively polarising and this is a better reason still to skip it.

Original poster
Annoyedparentofyear6dd · 15/04/2016 14:13

Not in the organising, though they heard about it and I think they are going to take over organising it next year! However they get in the limo at school and the parents need to co-ordinate with the school as it is on their property.

OP posts:
member · 15/04/2016 14:16

surely the meal is the 'do'? I'd push for the restaurant being the meeting place and that transport there is a separate thing & not included in the overall cost. That way, those that want the limo can pay extra and go ahead. Those that don't make their own way to the venue.

PurpleDaisies · 15/04/2016 14:16

I think the school should refuse to accommodate the limo. If it isn't for all the pupils there's nothing good that comes of letting half the kids get into it while the others look on. If they want to get in it off school property that's up to them.

PurpleDaisies · 15/04/2016 14:17

I totally agree that the limo is ridiculous.

heron98 · 15/04/2016 14:17

A limo? For my year 6 leavers in1992 we went to a local abbey and played rounders.

SoupDragon · 15/04/2016 14:22

They argue that everyone should have be able to do what they want to do, even if it means upsetting the girls who are not able to go in the limo

the thing is, if you "ban" the limo then you are upsetting the girls who wanted it. Someone is always going to be upset whatever you .

TBH, a limo on a weekday afternoon is not going to be that extravagant as I doubt it is peak time.

Original poster
Annoyedparentofyear6dd · 15/04/2016 14:26

Yes, the meal the do but unfortunately the girls don't see it that way. They don't seem to care about the meal! The idea is they all have a group photo on school grounds in front in the limo and then get in and drive away for the last time. So it end up being more the just the transport to the meal, especially as they are driving around in it for an hour and the meal is down the road... Abit OTT!!!

OP posts:
Witchend · 15/04/2016 14:29

Well I wouldn't go for it, however I don't think they're being unreasonable here, assuming there are enough children who want it to pay for it between themselves,

If they've seen older children doing it, particularly older sisters, then they will naturally expect it. I know from having 3 dc they'll say things like "in year 5 we will XYZ".

If those that want it book a limo for those who really want it and pay for it, then that's fine. The other parents can do what their children really want and pay for that.

The issue comes if they're expecting everyone to pay for it, then it isn't reasonable.

However if they're organising it does come with a certain control in what happens. There's nothing worse than organising anything like that because those who don't want to help in any way often are the most vocal about what should or shouldn't happen.

AppleSetsSail · 15/04/2016 14:34

TBH, a limo on a weekday afternoon is not going to be that extravagant as I doubt it is peak time.

Surely that's beside the point.

SoupDragon · 15/04/2016 14:35

Why is it beside the point?

SoupDragon · 15/04/2016 14:36

I don't know why people are such kill joys about a limo. It's just a glorified minibus really.

steppemum · 15/04/2016 14:36

wow, our year 6 have a BBQ and disco on the field. Lovely, relaxed age appropriate event.

Original poster
Annoyedparentofyear6dd · 15/04/2016 14:42

Have no problem with the limo. It is over the top but happy to do it. My concern is that surely at a leaving do, the girls should be doing the event together and we should try and find something they all can do?

OP posts:
pieceofpurplesky · 15/04/2016 14:42

Are there no boys?

Original poster
Annoyedparentofyear6dd · 15/04/2016 14:45

No it is a girls school

OP posts:
CodyKing · 15/04/2016 14:54

I personally think these dos are getting to be over the top - maybe that's the feeling amongst others?

I think they need a rethink about being inclusive - ask for ideas and a vote -

Why do parents have to do this and not leave school to organise a treat?

DD has a leavers disco a new as well as a school activity week away plus an assembly and god knows what else!!!

I have no intention of organising anything else!

NewLife4Me · 15/04/2016 14:56

it is peak time for limos as all schools do this now, or a lot.
July last year the whole school run seemed to be hired limos round here.

I think that those who want it should have it and meet up at the organisers house. Everyone else make their own way to the restaurant.
Unfair to involve school.

slicedfinger · 15/04/2016 15:00

At DD1 & DD2s school the whole limo/party/after party thing was getting out of control and quite unpleasant in the weeks running up to it with people being asked to change cars or uninvited to parties etc, so a group of parents undertook to organise a massive party on the school field. There was a BBQ, water fights, dancing, blow up sumo wrestling, bouncy castle/slide. It was absolutely gorgeous. I think it cost about £10 per head. They loved it. It's been running like that for about 7 years now, very successfully.

DD3s school was much much lower key - different town, not so affluent, and 'everyone' traditionally goes to the local park for a picnic. It was lovely, and the DC all wore their polo shirts that everyone had signed.

Both were great fun for the DC, and very, very inclusive.

PerspicaciaTick · 15/04/2016 15:00

You should all focus on the meal as the important bit, then the children can all choose to get to the meal by whatever means seems appropriate.
FWIW there is always fighting and upset of limo sharing at my DCs school, the parents get ridiculously nasty and the children end up getting upset if they are exluded by children they though were their friends. Much better to make the decision from the outset to make your own way to the meal and forget about bickering over the rights to a seat in a cut-and-shut death trap.

mummytime · 15/04/2016 15:08

My DCs junior school just did a BBQ - which was fun (for the one of mine who actually went).

Limos are better for end of secondary imho - and DD didn't even go in a Limo, just a smart car arranged by her "date" and a dressed up driver.

SquinkiesRule · 15/04/2016 15:52

Makes me glad there are only 9 children in Dd's year. They are supposed to be going by Limo to a play thing and dinner out. I already said yes, but haven't had all the details yet.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 15/04/2016 15:54

Thank fuck there was none of this shite when my daughter left a year and a half ago. They had an assembly, a play, and there was the usual end of year whole school disco. Nothing to pay out for, unless a new outfit was in order for the disco. I think she wore jeans and a tee shirt but I can't remember.