If you live in the south east and have a family of 4-6 (or thereabouts)

[PoodlesOfFun]

What would you say you need to live on as a family? And not be fucked financially?

When we were on the mainland we found we struggled more on a middle salary, around 35k.

I think that's the range where if you get any money it comes off any other benefits you'd be entitled to so you're kind of not doing better (even though you kind of are). It's definitely safer to have it in your wage packet then as government handouts but it doesn't actually give you any more spending money.

*if you get any more money

Dh has a couple of small raises (£500- £1000) over past couple years and each time it's come right off tax credits.

When I was in the south east I was getting a proxy 16 grand a year and couldn't afford my rent in a bedside so I'd say win the lottery.

Yes, we'be never claimed anything so I'm not sure but it would make sense that there is a squeezed bit in the middle.

I would say that you should be spending no more than a third of your take home pay on housing costs [rent or mortgage not bills]. Anything more than that and things are going to be very tight.
You are currently paying more than 50% of your post tax income on rent assuming that you don't receive anything else other than child benefit.

I would say about £70k, reducing to perhaps £50k as you reach the borders of the SE but I recognise that it's entirely possible to exist on a lot less than that.

You have three small children but there's no reason why you have to limit your expectations to a minimum wage job. What can you do over the next 3-4 years, before they are all in school to give yourself a leg up. ?

What would you train as if someone handed you a full-time nanny for free tomorrow morning ?

What level of qualifications do you need?
The basics are Maths and English GCSE - and there should be free courses for those via your local college/Adult Education.
These are also good places to look for low cost extra GCSEs or A'levels.

Could you consider child minding?
What did you do before kids?

Ou is the next possibility - and ask them about financial help. Even if you don't get all the units for a degree, it will show willingness to study, and other colleges often accept transfer students.

But yes we couldn't survive on that income, so you are doing very well.

I looked in to university for this year but found out that "residency" is going to be 5 years from September for financial aid purposes. Dh and I left the country and moved to my home country for 2 years and then came back to the UK. This is the source of the debt. Big stupid financial/emotional mistake. SO I would be paying out of town rates and also not be eligible for a loan. So definitely not going to happen. Or at least not soon.

I would like to be a victim's advocate (in hypothetical full time nanny situation) but it doesn't pay much more than min wage anyway and with cutback as they are probably not going to be a job in a few years time anyway!

Or something similar to that anyway. I'd like a job where I felt like I had done or contributed something. Paying the bills would be nice to though.

I've looked i to child minding but because of the ages of my own children it doesn't really work. (You can only have a certain number of younger kids). I would pay money to get registered and have my house in order and don't think I'd cover costs.

It sounds like I am being really negative- I'm not! Just been trying to think what I can do for money for a while now.

25k is good for us but im a bargain queen. (Shop around for everything but never do charity/2nd hand and primark).
Can honestly say dont go without much except i car share so my kids can have expensive lessons like singing. I can afford to run a car but prefer to save it or spend the difference on days out. Save 50% on servicing, mot and pay my proportion of insurance and petrol as when i use the car.

People on 70 80 who dont feel they are comfortable i find it mind boggling.

I know housing varies hugely but to be on 6 figures income and not go on holiday more often, wow that budget needs loooking at.

33k isnt alot with debts and £1100 rent, your doing well Op.

Ooh I love a charity shop flirty . We do shop around and groceries mostly from Lidl. With nappies/toiletries/ pet stuff though I find it a struggle to get shop under a £100 a week (on average)

I don't have any tips. We are also south east. Good salaries but childcare and getting on the housing ladder late in the day takes most of it.

I like to think, with young kids, things can only get better! As childcare costs will fall and earning potential rise as years go on and we pay off more of mortgage. I hope, probably naively!

I think having a mortgage must help, I'd feel better in general if I knew my money was going towards something. Worried about getting priced out as wages aren't going up drastically but rents seem to be

Still not sure where people are getting the down payments either, I need to have an elderly previously unknown , very wealthy, aunt appear soon

It sounds like I am being really negative- I'm not!

No it doesn't. It sounds as though you have actively been looking into it and actually have some idea of what you would like to do when the funding becomes available. Which is great.

www.indeed.co.uk/Victim-Support-jobs
The salaries and jobs available are actually really varied and a fair bit more than minimum wage. For some you need to be bilingual so perhaps consider learning a niche language depending on where you live? You could train as a special constable if you could find the time for the training and the commitment. I suspect you would walk straight into a support role once you'd had the appropriate training if you'd been a SC for a few years ?

Still not sure where people are getting the down payments either
Bought house over 10 years ago with good equity from a previous house sale.
DH left 6 years ago and didn't pay anything towards our DD or the house.
I had to completely go it alone.
So he got no equity from the divorce (well I gave him a bit as a good will gesture) and I got the lot so was able to put nearly 50% down on my new house!
There are other properties in play here that he got the money from as well.
If I hadn't had waited all those years it would have been a very different scenario!

In Surrey, combined income £80K ish, 2 children at independent secondary schools (no bursary), and money is tight. We do manage to "save" £500 a month, but it's budgeting rather than true saving as we have to dig into it for car repairs/replacement washing machine/school trips/holidays etc, so the "savings" get depleted almost as fast as they build up.

We can only do it because we paid off the mortgage, so our living expenses are low, and have built up a good cushion of savings, which allows us to cut our finances so fine.

We have just over £1k to spend each month after all essential bills and savings are paid, to cover food (about £300), petrol (about £150) , clothes, entertainment, extra curriculars, general expenses etc. That's just about enough money, but not enough to be extravagant. Holidays are simple, meals out are rare and bargains always looked for!

We are comfortable on £100k. 3 bed semi worth 440k, 2 cars - second hand though, couple of holidays a year and money to do bits to the house as needed. We are in East Surrey (zone 6 so within m25).

You could train as a special constable if you could find the time for the training and the commitment. I suspect you would walk straight into a support role once you'd had the appropriate training if you'd been a SC for a few years ?

That's a really good idea tread and I will look in to it...as well as the language idea.

hells your ex sounds quite lucky to have been given a good will gesture! Glad you were able to get a house at the end though.

msrm Every time it seems like we might have a bit left over it immediately goes on the car/or something else unexpected too.

Still not sure where people are getting the down payments either

That's the big problem. If you don't have equity from a previous property, or something like an inheritence, you face the prospect of having to save tens of thousands of pounds or more, while paying rent at the same time.

Do you know how the cost of a mortgage would compare to what you pay in rent OP and is shared ownership an option?

Some houses are cheaper to rent than buy (I think this is common in expensive areas) but sometimes a mortgage would cost less than rent on a similar property.

we are a family of five in the SE, two in school and one not there yet. I'm a SAHM and DH earns under 19k. We survive...

My friend owns a house of comparable size and pays the same as our rent on her mortgage. She was lucky as she had some family to help her out with initial loan to cover down payment which we haven't got. I've looked in to Shared and the house seem to be way more than they are worth and also still need a deposit although significantly less than normal.

5 of us in a small 3 bed terrace in London. I'm sahm, oh earns nearly £70k.

We have to watch the pennies but manage a decent foreign holiday each year and a few treats. We run one small inexpensive car and oh has a company car. Think we would really struggle if we had lots of debt and our mortgage was as big as some of our friends.

I would check the fee status here: www.ukcisa.org.uk/Information--Advice/Fees-and-Money/England-fee-status#layer-3324 They also have a telephone advice line. Because I'm not sure what you were told is correct.
And I'm sure it is not if your home country is in the EU. (Is your DH British?)

Apparently they also have a telephone advice line, who can give you further advice.