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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Travelling abroad at 34/35weeks?

29 replies

Talcott2007 · 15/04/2016 11:43

So my DP has jut come up with the idea to drive to France on the early May B/H weekend to visit family we would be looking at a 5hr drive each way. I'm not sure I want to go. I will be 34/35 weeks at the time my consultant has already said that I will in all probability be induced at 38 weeks as I have some underlying medical issues which could put me and baby at increased risk if I go 'over'

I guess I'm just worried about the possibility of going into labor early and having to deliver away from the the medical team who know all about my condition. (although there is no reason to suspect this would happen, but then again - I arrived at 35+2 myself) My French is also far from fluent so if something did go wrong I wouldn't be able to communicate well without DP translating.

DP thinks I'm just over thinking everything and that the chances of me going into labor aren't even worth worrying about and even if they were it's not like there would be no access to medical care so everything would be fine regardless etc - To be clear DP isn't insisting we go or anything and if i say I don't want to go he will be fine with it but deep down I know he would really like to see his family again before baby arrives. AIBU and OTT about the whole thing?

What would other people do?

OP posts:

AliceInUnderpants · 15/04/2016 11:49

No way. Could he go himself to visit his family?

specialsubject · 15/04/2016 11:52

job no 1 - see if you can get travel insurance, giving all these details. That should help the decision.

londonrach · 15/04/2016 11:53

Im 25 weeks now and thinking should i should i not go at 26/27 weeks on holiday. Yanbu about wanting to travel at 34/35 weeks. Im sure there are mntters who have travelling at 38 weeks but for me personally i question after 30 weeks. Can you suggest a uk break instead or better still enjoy a holiday when your new born is here. Yanbu.

Figgygal · 15/04/2016 11:56

Absolutely no chance if he going what is he thinking??

DoodleCat · 15/04/2016 11:56

My son arrived at 34 weeks with no prior warning. He then had to stay in hospital for 2 weeks, I was so glad it was a hospital near home. So, you'd probably be fine but maybe explain to DH that if baby did arrive it could involve staying with baby in hospital for weeks after..

NapQueen · 15/04/2016 11:56

Aside from the "what if" of early labour, a long drive, the stress of being abroad so pregnant and the usual "fuck me Im sick of being pregnant I cant sleep or get comfy" are all viable reasons to not go.

He can go alone or wait til the baby is 3months and go then.

CMOTDibbler · 15/04/2016 11:56

If nothing else, then consider what its going to be like sitting in a car for hours and hours at 35 weeks. You could be needing a wee very frequently, not comfortable, and theres a higher risk of dvt.

I gave birth at 35+0 with no warning at all, and ds spent a week in SCBU. I wouldn't want to do that in another country,.

Monstertrucker · 15/04/2016 11:57

I struggled with a 5min car journey at that stage due to back pain - no way would I even have contemplated it!

Birdsgottafly · 15/04/2016 12:01

Would it be a five hour drive, with bank holiday traffic, possible delays because of accidents and you needing the toilet/to stretch your legs.

That alone doesn't sound like fun.

He should go with whatever you want to do, your the one whose pregnant, that doesn't mean he can't go alone.

If normally ask how likely an early labour would be, but there's been three, in my circle, recently.

So it depends on if your bothered about where you give birth and possibly being stuck, if the baby/you aren't well.

The risk of an accident would have put me off at 35 weeks, though. A high speed accident, surround by wagons, is very different to a city centre accident.

Heirhelp · 15/04/2016 12:02

I would not do it. If you are against it and DH can't understand why aak your midwife or conaultant for their advice. I am sure they will no.

Lasaraleen · 15/04/2016 12:03

My first dc was born at 34 weeks and was in hospital for 7 weeks. Absolutely no way would I go. Quite apart from the possibility of being really uncomfortable on the drive.

TheGreaterGood · 15/04/2016 12:05

Interested to see how this goes - I'm umming and ahhing about a UK work trip for 2 nights when I'm 35 weeks. Will be 4 hours drive from home and an hour from the nearest hospital.

I'm in 2 minds... but I think adding cross-channel journey and a language barrier would make my mind up for me to be honest!

TaraCarter · 15/04/2016 12:05

It's a bloody stupid idea.

Ladycrazycat · 15/04/2016 12:07

Can you make it another, earlier weekend? I know that it might not be ideal with AL but would that be a possibility? Or could his family come to you? Maybe you could book somewhere for you all to stay not a million miles from home but at least in the same country.

NapQueen · 15/04/2016 12:09

The UK break wouldnt worry me - still access to NHS hospitals and no repatriation costs / hospital costs / language worries.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 15/04/2016 12:14

Can they come and visit you instead?

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 15/04/2016 12:16

Though possibly that's even worse Nice hotel - Half way ?

Bit too late for me. 30 weeks or so I'd be fine with that but while in all likelihood it would be fine if you are under consultant care then I'd be quite cautious.

Send him off and have a lovely weekend just pottering around

BarbaraofSeville · 15/04/2016 12:28

job no 1 - see if you can get travel insurance, giving all these details. That should help the decision

^^This. You might not even be able to get travel insurance, or it might be ridiculously expensive. So it might be a no-no anyway, without having to think about whether it will be too tiring/uncomfortable etc.

Original poster

Talcott2007 · 15/04/2016 12:41

Thanks everyone! At least I'm not being OTT for being reluctant to go then! (I'm well known for my OTT-ness so sometimes it's hard to tell any more especially with all the hormones at the moment!)

We did spend Christmas with the ILS and DP has been over on his own for a week in Feb so it's not like it's been forever since he's seen them and is quite capable and happy to visit on his own in general. I've just suggested that he goes on his own if he really wants to see them - to which he's replied "but then what if you DO go into labor early and I miss it - you can't do it without me!!" - Who's OTT now! haha!

OP posts:

Mistigri · 15/04/2016 12:52

Check your travel insurance for pregnancy related exclusions.

Medical care will be covered if the worst should happen, but associated costs won't be - this includes repatriation costs for you and a small baby, hotel and food costs for your DH, and your "hotel" costs in a French hospital (which are normally partly covered by patients in France and are insured separately).

My DS was involved in a serious traffic accident about 3 years ago in northern France. The cost of repatriating him to our home (also in France) was about £3k. If your baby were to arrive prematurely and require medical transport home you'd be looking at a bill of several thousand at least.

NicknameUsed · 15/04/2016 13:01

What everyone else has said. Also, how would you get a new, premature baby back to the UK without its own passport?

RubbleBubble00 · 15/04/2016 13:05

Simply no. From about 32 wks I stayed within hour of hospital and home. You never know.

Mistigri · 15/04/2016 13:06

If the OP's partner is French, getting a French passport for their baby would be easy (cheaper/ quicker than in the UK). Less of an issue than the medical and financial complications of repatriating a premature baby, anyway.

99percentchocolate · 15/04/2016 13:16

I'm 35 weeks now and I honestly couldn't think of anything worse. There is a lovely event on about 45 minutes from me next week which I would love to go to but the thought of being that far from my hospital is bringing me out in a sweat!

Joinourclub · 15/04/2016 13:26

Im 34 weeks now and no way would I spend 5 hours in a car.

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