Have known this person for about 10 years. We were once intimate friends, she knew loads of really personal stuff about me.
Long story short, our lives moved in different directions. I haven't seen her in over a year: we haven't spoken in six months. I last saw her at xmas '14, and got the feeling she too was doing it out of duty to the past, rather than a real desire to see me.
We have zero in common now and without getting into all the bitchy stuff she's said/done, I've realised she's not a nice person and I don't want her in my life.
Tbh at times it's felt like a fairly painful, drawn-out breakup. A tiny part of me misses having a v close female friend as that's not something I really have any longer.
I've been abroad for almost a year (which has got me out of it all) but have been back home several times, so the ball was in my court to arrange a coffee date iyswim. Her birthday's coming up and I don't know what to do.
No message would be too cold. 'happy bday hun, we should meet up' wouldn't be appropriate.