Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've 2 dc of my own, AIBU to feel slightly 'funny' when I hear pregnancy announcements?

53 replies

WalkingZed · 13/04/2016 19:22

Does anyone get like this?

You are happy for the person but there's just something that wishes it was you again?!

I've one of each aged 1 and 3! My hands are full.

I'm 38 so there will be no more dc!

I did had a silent mc a few months back, got to 12 weeks, awful shock.

I feel awful that I feel like this when people announce pregnancy.

Is it just me?

OP posts:
CakeNinja · 13/04/2016 20:53

No, I feel sorry for them! And I had easy going relaxed babies Grin
Sometimes, when I lie in bed, I think back to the tiredness of having a newborn and just think how I would feel just hearing that cry of a baby who needs feeding/changing/winding/changing again/feeding again etc and I know I never want to do that again.
Also, we have 3 and the novelty well and truly wore off very quickly, babies are alright when they're little, but fekking expensive now - I secretly feel very sorry for pg people!
Although obviously the correct response is "oh wow, how lovely, congratulations!" - I love holding other people's babies, I'm not a monster!

marshmallowpies · 13/04/2016 20:55

I definitely knew I didn't want more than 2, am 40 this year, definitely don't want to be pregnant again, but DD2 is just becoming a toddler, so as she leaves babyhood behind, there won't be a 'baby' in the house any more, just children. It was alright when she was definitely still a 'baby' - why would I long to have a baby when I already have one? - but soon she won't be, and I think then there will be the pang of feeling 'there will not be any more babies in this house'.

A couple of friends are having their 3rd this year, but it doesn't make me want a third - too old, too risky, too expensive. I had a MC between the two successful pregnancies and I really wouldn't want to go through that again.

What I really get 'the pang' about is my oldest friend from childhood who has had fertility issues and doesn't have children. I don't want another baby for me, but I wish I could have one for her. At 40 I don't think I'm anyone's idea of a good surrogate, though. Sad

Boogers · 13/04/2016 20:56

A lady I work with is 10+ weeks and I was the first person she told after her partner. She was about 5 weeks then, and I was really pleased and excited for her but another part of me kept thinking 'this is really early to be telling everyone', but she's been fine and she's happy, and that's all that matters.

I am jealous, and I do have that pang. I would love another baby but we just cannot afford another baby or accommodate another baby in our 2 1/2 bed semi. I just want to impart everything I've learned with my two, but that's part of the wonderful journey of parenthood, learning everything as you go on.

JimmyGreavesMoustache · 13/04/2016 21:00

I don't get broody around babies or pregnant women, but I do with lovely chubby-faced little toddlers.

One's just moved onto our street and I love watching him drunkenly weave his way along the pavement, pointing out the beauty of the everyday stuff he sees.There's no way I have the time, energy, patience, money or sanity for a third DC, but I'd just love to re-live a day with my own when they were toddlers.

7Days · 13/04/2016 21:02

I get the pang too. For me though it's definitely for the attention Blush. I have 3 now, conceived easily, pregnancies tolerable, births fine, post natal period just dreadful for all of them, PND, birth injuries, double incontinence, the works.

But also tiny little newborn heads, and hours sat on sofa with baby clamped to breast.
....sorry .... rambling ....

7Days · 13/04/2016 21:04

Oh Jimmy you are making me well up.

What's worse is I actually have a toddler and I count down the hours til bedtime then I spend my me time getting sentimental about how cute and loving he is.

Anyone got any grips?

Ledkr · 13/04/2016 21:04

Me too. I have 5 too!
I almost feel a bit snipey and bitter for a few seconds. I'm ashaned to admit that but glad I'm not alone.

reallywittyname · 13/04/2016 21:31

Yes, YABU - but then, reason doesn't come into it, does it. I feel exactly the same! Two dc, almost 38, really poorly in last pregnancy, spd, two sections already... And yet the pang! And also the tiny bit of pity... It's the snuggly babyness I get bloody for, even though dd2 is still only 9mo and so snuggly and adorable... And I think ooh we could have a third...then I have a day with 3yo dd1 and the tantrums and negotiation and constant pushing of boundaries and I think... No fucking way!

reallywittyname · 13/04/2016 21:32

Broody! Not bloody... urgh...

expatinscotland · 13/04/2016 21:38

OMG, you lot are bonkers Wink! Think of the piles, the stretchmarks. I've just slimmed down, got my muscle tone back, feeling strong, hillwalking/hiking like a mad thing when the kids are in school. Feels great. Sure, the hot flushes and sweats are unpleasant, but these light, 4 days periods are fab.

Where I get the pangs is when I see someone with a dog. Now that I am jealous of. I wants a dog.

Suzietwo · 13/04/2016 21:44

I get them even when I'm pregnant myself! Hormones are bloody stupid things.

VocationalGoat · 13/04/2016 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HackerFucker22 · 13/04/2016 21:48

YANBU least of all as you have just had a miscarriage. I've had 4!!

We do now gave 2 beautiful children (same age as the OP's) and there will be no more for us. I suppose it's the whole knowing I'll never experience pregnancy, childbirth, newborn days, having a young baby again that gets to me.... I think it's quite natural as having children means you know the wonders that are about to unfold but you won't get to personally experience it again.

WhatTimeIsItCuckoo · 13/04/2016 21:52

I get this all the time OP and I'm 48! I had my youngest at 43 though so you've still got time Wink

Lifecanonlygetbetter · 13/04/2016 21:56

In my 50s and still get the pang. There is nothing like a newborn, all soft and peachy with your whole life ahead of you.

minipie · 13/04/2016 21:56

I get this yes. I sooo do not want another baby or child (mine are same age as yours) but I do feel a fleeting envy for the excitement of a new pregnancy.

I think being pregnant is just an exciting time - assuming it is wanted and all goes fairly smoothly of course - it's full of congratulations and guessing what they will be like and future possibilities and you don't have to deal with the actual baby yet (can you tell I hated the baby stage)

LizKeen · 13/04/2016 21:58

I don't get it at pregnancy announcements, but the birth announcements are killing me.

We are ttc no 3 and its not looking likely. :(

DH has a large family with a lot of cousins all around the same age as us, all having their first and second children. This year already there has been a new baby every month. I get a little sad every time. Especially as they are using up all our names.

But I get over it and am happy for them really.

MrsKoala · 13/04/2016 22:00

Sorry you had a mc OP, but 38 is not too old if you do want another one. I have a 3.8 and a 1.8 yo and i am expecting another in Oct and i am 39. I hate the first 12 weeks of pregnancy but i just love the rest (no stretch marks or piles either but i did get a 3rd degree tear and anal fissures - nice).

6-12mo is my favourite age i think. But i am loving ds2 atm he is learning new words every day and he is a cheeky as they come. His new one today is to say 'WHO DID THAT? meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' and tickle his own belly then do a raucous dimply laugh.

Osirus · 13/04/2016 22:12

Well I'm weirder than all of you - I'm currently 30 pregnant and when I hear other pregnancy announcements I feel envious! I already want to do it all again. I am weird aren't I?

Osirus · 13/04/2016 22:13

30 weeks!!!

Suzietwo · 13/04/2016 22:14

I don't even make feckin pregnancy announcements so it's not that!

Summerblaze100 · 13/04/2016 22:14

Yep, I get it too especially if it's their 1st (not at the moment as pg with my 4th). I know I'll still get it after this one even though I know this is my last one. Wouldn't be able to go through it again especially as this pregnancy so far has been hard and cost, time, age etc of another.

It's about the attention, the thought that they are just beginning what you've finished.

I do the same with engagements, weddings, buying 1st houses. I don't want to get married again as I love my DH but the excitement of starting the new life with all the best bits to come.

minipie · 13/04/2016 22:16

Nope I don't get it at birth announcements, just feel sorry for them having to get through the newborn stage (did I mention l hate the newborn stage!?)

MrsKoala · 13/04/2016 22:18

Osirus - i loved my first pregnancy so much, ds1 wasn't born till 42 weeks and i still didn't want him out, i felt a pang of sad that i wasn't pregnant anymore and couldn't wait to be pregnant again. I have never been more happy with my body than heavily pregnant (the tiny baby bit you can keep, i just want to be pregnant forever).

AuntieMeemz · 13/04/2016 22:38

I get it really bad too! I lost a baby some years ago, and even though I went on to have 2 more Dc's, I still feel a bit odd when I hear a pregnancy announcement. We went through 7 years of IVF too, so it's even worse if I hear of a surprise pregnancy. I think in my case, it's a bit of jealousy!
Sometimes though, I have a little smirk, thinking someone else is going to have all the joys of trying to parent!

Swipe left for the next trending thread