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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

'Go private' AIBU

47 replies

Thebrowntrout · 12/04/2016 07:27

AIBU to be a bit fed up of the threads where someone or someone's child is in pain and they are told often with a Hmm or Confused to 'go private'

Why is it acknowledged some people are really struggling but where health is concerned you can apparently pull money out of your bum.

Well guess what? You can't.

OP posts:
cleaty · 12/04/2016 10:00

I to have had experience of trying to get a private appointment, and having as long a wait as for an NHS appointment. Going private does not always solve the problem.

SaucyJack · 12/04/2016 10:05

I dunno. On that other thread it was unfair to guilt trip the OP as they were waiting for a booked appt., but I do think generally speaking we need to accept that NHS dentistry is on its last legs in some parts of the country, and that paying out for emergency dental treatment is a necessary evil.

I know no one can pull money out of their arse (including me), but some things do just need paying for- and if you or your child needs to see a dentist, and you can't get an NHS appt., then private dental care is one of those things.

purplevase · 12/04/2016 10:09

I don't think you do skip the queue if you go private - the private appointments are at different times to NHS ones. NHS doctors often do a full day's work and then do their private work in the evening, or early in the morning.

cleaty · 12/04/2016 10:11

Going private with tests can help you skip queues.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/04/2016 10:15

Stop contributing to the mass movement towards over sensitivity and offence about everything on mumsnet.

It's a sad day when sensitivity towards people is slated as a bad thing on here

NNalreadyinuse · 12/04/2016 10:18

I paid for a test for my dc. The results of that test determined what I did next in terms of treatment. If I'd waited for the nhs, my child would still be queueing for the initial test.

WorraLiberty · 12/04/2016 10:19

So 'is going private an option?' would suffice wouldn't it?

Yes to this ^^

Simply saying "Go private" does make the poster sound a little bit dim I'm afraid...as if they hadn't ever considered that it's not an option for everyone.

Same as when they simply say, "Move house", "Learn to drive/buy a car", "Store it in the garage" etc.

HPsauciness · 12/04/2016 10:21

I think it's extremely helpful advice to know that you don't have to go private for all of the treatment, just the original consultation. Perhaps even if you don't have £1-200, someone may lend it to you, that's what happened when my dd needed an urgent consultation, we then went back into the NHS system.

More information is better.

I know lots of parents on benefits or working/child tax credits, some single, some not, and when push comes to shove, they can and do find a couple of hundred pounds, or could raise it from family and friends for a really severe medical problem.

It's opening up another option, not a pie in the sky one for many many ordinary and not rich people.

Jeremysfavouriteaunt · 12/04/2016 10:21

I have skipped the queue going private with tests, back to the NHS afterwards. MRI and cardiac echo for ds.

Balletgirlmum · 12/04/2016 10:25

I'm really glad someone suggested to me to go private though you do have to be careful.

My dad lent me £2000 for a private ed psych for ds & she wasn't very helpful, needed more meetings/test & the money ran out.

2 years & numerous problems at school later the senco from dds school suggested a different private fed psych. He charged less than £500 & was able in just one meeting to get to the crux of the problem & write a detailed report indicating ds had an asd & simple, practical strategies for home & school invluding him having a low enough score for extra time in exams. Turns out he used to be the other ones boss when they both worked for the LEA.

Pollyputhtekettleon · 12/04/2016 10:40

Fanjo, I said OVER sensitivity. Not sensitivity. A bit of sensitivity is always important.

Or are you being oversensitive about sensitivity.....

Fiona80 · 12/04/2016 10:59

I did say it in the other thread but only because I know how excruciating the pain can be and also that it won't cost hundreds or thousands. But it was suggested as an option. I didn't put the 'if you can afford it' with it as I thought it didn't need to be said as I thought this would be assumed. Didn't think it would be offensive.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/04/2016 11:05

yes its PC gorn mad round here

RedToothBrush · 12/04/2016 11:17

Private didn't offer the health care I needed within a viable distance from my house.

Private don't do certain things. This is because its not profitable or is extremely complex.

Private is where that teenage girl with mental health problems, who killed herself and was featured on last nights panorama, was placed. Albeit paid for by the NHS.

Private is seen as the solution to the failing of the NHS. Private is seen as better. There are so many cases that end up in court because private is NOT better. Hey look how the experience at Hinchingbrooke Hospital with private management worked out.

Most of the time where these threads suggest 'going private' the situation has got to a point where the problem has moved from a long term chronic issue to one that is turning into one where immediate treatment is needed, if not an emergency. At which point 'going private' really is an inappropriate suggest as although you might be able to get seen quicker than a long waiting list, you still need a referral and to get an appointment. You can't just rock up and get seen just like that. If you have a child in pain and can't wait, you can't wait. That means you can't wait for that private referral either.

Which is why the 'go private' comments piss me off. Not because of the finances of them. But because of the inappropriateness of them as if private is a magic solution. It doesn't enter the thought process to consider whether private is actually going to be any better. Its a lazy suggestion and helps to perpetuate the myth that private is better.

Doing this removes public pressure to support the NHS. It plays into the hands of politicians who then use it as a stick to beat the NHS with, because of the 'private = better' assumption.

There is no assessment that private IS better going on. Its just an automatic reaction which is being increasingly ingrained into our mentality. If we are paying extra for it, it must be better. Right. Right??

You know, its easy to bash the NHS. But if you've paid for the privilege of that extra treatment, is it as easy to criticise it? Are private health providers as accountable as a result? Do they always do what's in the best interest of patients or do they make unnecessary treatment because a) they get money from it b) the patient goes away 'satisfied' because something has been done - even if its potentially more harmful than the not very popular 'do nothing' option. Its something that often overrides the principles of evidence based medicine and pandering to the worried well.

Yeah its the absence of critical thinking that PISS ME RIGHT OFF.

How about supporting improving care across the board and asking the same questions of both private and public health in this country? Because BOTH are not providing the best care possible with the patient's wellbeing, the centre of that in this country imho.

Some times private is a better option. But lets we collective need to have a filter and make an assessment of that and give reasons why its appropriate in that particular case. Blanket, simplistic 'have you considered going private' one line statements are deeply, deeply unhelpful to everyone - not just posters that the comments are directed at.

museumum · 12/04/2016 11:21

I use a private Physio for sporting injuries as my experience of MGS Physio has been that they can only do the bare minimum so you can get to work and don't have the resources to get you back to full ability.
I'm not from an area or background that would use private medicine do I know my friends have thought this would cost hundreds of pounds.
It doesn't. It's £40 for an initial visit and if you say you won't be able to afford follow ups they'll give you an exercise rehab programme to do at home.
Many many people think private is beyond them when it's not always.

museumum · 12/04/2016 11:24

Btw I do think it's right and proper that nhs Physio concentrates on the totally immobile and not my sports injury and wanting to be able to run again.

Balletgirlmum · 12/04/2016 11:30

Similar for dd museum.

Her school insists on bupa cover & they use a specialist dance physio as waiting times are so long.

There are however a couple of 1st rate NHS dance rehab clinics in Birmingham & London which anyone can access.

CrotchetQuaverMinim · 12/04/2016 12:29

oh I absolutely agree that private won't always be the answer, and for me, it is usually impossible due to cost anyway, so when I recommend it, it is only in the cases where I have had specific experience of it being very different from what is available on the NHS - such in in my case, hand therapy of a particular type. I would not even have been referred on the NHS, but there was actually an awful lot that the private therapist could do and access that made a real difference to me. I am not bashing the NHS for not being able to provide this, as I don't this I would have expected it as it was not a problem that meant I couldn't function/do my job. Nonetheless, it was very important to me, so I felt it was worth it. I do wish that the physio and orthotics could have been provided on the NHS at a level that actually worked instead of wasting time with what was never really going to do much; I had to go private with those out of desperation, and found it frustrating, but knowing the shortage of resources, I think it's a fair enough decision to cut that type of service, as I don't think it's as important as other things they have to deal with. I would rather the NHS money was spent on more critical things, so I don't feel it's bashing them to recommend that in those instances, private treatment gave me something that I found worthwhile that I wouldn't have had otherwise. And it is good for people to know that - when I've mentioned it before, sometimes people say 'oh it is all the same doctors' or 'private can't do anything different', but in some cases it can; not as a magic solution, and not because private automatically equals better, but in certain situations, private can give more time, more sessions, different supplies that might be better quality (e.g. splints that are smaller/lighter/more usable), more attempts to try different solutions that aren't just a standard recommendation if the first way didn't work, etc.

JokesLOL · 12/04/2016 12:35

To be fair I'm pretty sure that when someone suggests 'going private' it's usually followed up with an 'if you can afford it'

Everylittlething87 · 12/04/2016 16:46

I think those people commenting on priorities are being overly judgemental. Especially the comment regarding sky etc.

Before I owned my own business I had been made redundant, on job seekers and my pay out was abysmal it literally kept my rent paid for 2 months! My children were in second hand everything, my food bill for 4 of us had to be £25 and under (this included nappies) and I can honestly say without one of us going seriously hungry I would not have been able to make savings ANYWHERE. We had no sky, pay as you go phones, shopped in charity shops or got hand me downs, food was healthy but very budgeted and we walked absolutely everywhere because we could not afford bus travel. How would someone in that position possibly cut down anymore than that?!

This type of things goes to prove that people seem to have no clue how the other half live. Now I am comfortably off I would always consider those less fortunate. It's about the way you word things as previous posters have said to ask whether it's an option rather than just assume it is one. Also to not think that everyone who isn't very well off spend their money in the wrong places! I don't smoke, haven't drank alcohol for over ten years and I still struggled. Sometimes I would cry because I couldn't help my do as much as other people for my children, if one of them was ill and I came on for advice and a smiley face was posted with an insensitive 'go private?' I think I would have cracked!

This isn't being sensitive at all.

puzzledbyadream · 12/04/2016 16:56

Not keen on this "most people can afford it if they cancel sky thing". I'm on minimum wage, don't have Sky, don't have an iphone or really any extraordinary expenses. I can't even afford to go to the NHS dentist in case I need a filling or something and have to pay £50. Which I so very much do not have.

girlwithagruffalotattoo · 13/04/2016 09:10

I'm laughing (bitterly. Oh so bitterly) at "stop going to lego land/cancel sky/sell your iphone". Presumably the next top tip is to quit the fags, yeah?

Legoland? Trips out for us are free days to the park or museum (with a packed lunch), I don't even have a TV much less Sky and I have a cheap, old phone not ant kind of iPhone. Guess what, poor people know how to be frugal too! We're not all pissing our scrounged benefits away on shite.

I literally have no money after paying for essentials (that's bills and food, not gags and telly), and I mean literally in the literal sense.

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