To set a bit of background, I WOH full-time and don't get to see much of my 6yo DS during the week. DH, whose work is more flexible, is the primary parent.
We have a family iPad which is used pretty much solely by DS, although set to my Apple ID. Downloads and in-app purchases are password restricted, and DS has to ask me or DH if DS wants either of these things.
I had said to DH that I did not want DS accessing anything that was age-inappropriate or apps that allowed him to contact/be contacted by other players, and as far as I was aware, DH adhered to this (especially after an incident where he didn't and I walked in to hear someone talking over a game DS was playing (albeit on a console) saying something really rude over and over again - "I'm a nr, I'm a nr" ...!) Recently, DH has allowed him to download games set to 9+/12+ - when I voiced concern, DH assured me that they were fine, and I (stupidly) trusted him.
I took today off work to spend some time with DS during his Easter break. While we were at home, he was playing a game on the iPad and he casually mentioned his 'friend' in the game, which startled me. When I asked him a few questions, it transpires that the game allows messaging between players and he had received an invitation from someone "asking to be his friend". I think DS could sense my discomfort and he quickly said he never gives out his name or where he lives or goes to school. I explained to DS that I didn't think it appropriate that he had access to games which allowed messaging and that I would have to go through each app on the iPad and delete those that I thought he shouldn't have access to.
DS put on a brave face but was in tears and clearly upset that he would be losing access to some of his games.
When I confronted DH, he said he wasn't aware that the app allowed messaging. When I asked further questions, it also became clear that DH had not read through any app descriptions before downloading them for DS. DH has said that, going forward, he will do so. However, my main problem is that, despite this, DH insists that he could not see why failing to do so was a problem in the first place.
As a result, I've taken the iPad from DS until I have had a chance to review every game and delete those I disagree with. I've also said that until DH realises why and admits that letting a 6yo have almost free reign on apps is a bad idea, I won't be allowing DS to use it when I'm not around as, with an attitude like that, I can't trust DH to not do it again.
DH thinks this is a massive overreaction on my part, I think because DS is very sensible and tells us everything, including if something makes him uncomfortable. I don't care - he is 6yo! It's not up to him to police his use on/of the iPad!
I'm mad at DH but more mad at myself for not checking as well. DH is more IT-literate than I am (he's a bloody IT consultant!) and I had assured myself (even after the previous incident) that I could trust his judgement when it came to things like this.
AIBU?