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AIBU?

AIBU to NOT congratulate her on her book deal?

53 replies

StayAnon55 · 11/04/2016 11:12

A former colleague of mine today announced on social media she will shortly be having her book published.

To cut a very long story short, I had to have counselling as a result of how she treated me in the workplace - constantly belittling me, criticizing me, personal comments etc.

However, the entire office I know how much she wanted to get a book deal and part of me thinks I should wish her congratulations on her Facebook.

Despite our history and her general I'm-better-than-everyone attitude, I'm actually genuinely happy for her but I just can't seem to bring myself to say congratulations.

Should I try and move on from what happened and wish her congratulations or should I just let it slide?

OP posts:

Report

expatinscotland · 11/04/2016 12:10

Get rid of her. Delete, block, be free!

Letustryagain · 11/04/2016 12:11

To be honest OP... if you deleted her from your FB, she probably wouldn't notice... if she was that horrible to you she likely has no interest in your life so I really wouldn't worry about her confronting you... Just block her and be free!!

Itinerary · 11/04/2016 12:11

That is so refreshing to read, people often sit on the fence and say 'oh he/she's fine with me' regardless of how openly shit they are with other's

Yes, I couldn't agree more.

LagunaBubbles · 11/04/2016 12:15

I'm actually genuinely happy for her

Why? Seriously if someone had bullied me I couldnt care less about what they would do in the future, never mind be happy for them!

kaitlinktm · 11/04/2016 12:27

If it's on Kindle could you download a free sample and then leave a review saying the sample was so dire you couldn't be bothered buying the whole thing?

If I knew what book it was I would do it too! (Obviously you can't tell me, I know).

Definitely unfriend her!

WhereYouLeftIt · 11/04/2016 12:30

"A former colleague of mine today announced on social media she will shortly be having her book published."

A little off-topic, but - does she actually have a book deal, from a proper publisher? Or is it 'vanity publishing', self-publishing where she is paying a printer? It does happen you know ...

StayAnon55 · 11/04/2016 12:45

WhereYouLeftIt, yes it is a book with a proper publisher I believe although I hadn't heard of the publisher before.

OP posts:

ThatsNotMyRabbit · 11/04/2016 12:45

I bet it's vanity publishing. Or a freebie on kindle.

Either way:

Delete.
Block.
Leave a bad review.
Tell us all what the book is so we can leave bad reviews too.

BarbaraofSeville · 11/04/2016 12:47

Can't anyone publish a book on Amazon Kindle these days?

And I'm another one baffled as to why you are still FB friends, given your history and do people actually notice when they are unfriended anyway. I wouldn't know if I ever have been and I have defriended several people that I have lost touch with with no repercussions.

whois · 11/04/2016 12:49

Delete from your FB!

EmpressTomatoKetchup · 11/04/2016 13:00

Unfollow her. Her news won't appear in your newsfeed, you won't know about her book deal and other shit to care but she won't know that.

CantWaitForWarmWeather · 11/04/2016 13:15

Oooo the shit review is a fab idea!

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 11/04/2016 13:18

Leaving a bad review unless the book actually is crap is just going to make you look (and feel) petty. Far better to simply not buy it.

girlinacoma · 11/04/2016 13:19

Surely if you delete her from Facebook and she asks you why, you would reply with a very simple 'because I don't like you'.

How difficult is that?

Life is too short to try and please everyone OP, particularly a person you don't even like

CalonGoch · 11/04/2016 13:22

Tell us all what the book is so we can leave bad reviews too.

Oh, come on. Don't leave a bad review for a book you've never read, just because some random poster on the internet says the author wasn't nice to work with. If it's a terrible book, then the bad reviews will appear all on their own. If it's an amazing book, but with a string of inexplicable 1-star reviews, it'll just look like a vendetta and people will buy the book anyway out of curiosity.

shovetheholly · 11/04/2016 13:35

It can feel dreadful when someone who has treated you so badly seems to be getting a break: like all the old trauma has come back again.

You are under no obligation to be nice to her. She forfeited that a long time ago! Just ignore the post. And bide your time - when horrible people come crashing down (and we all crash sometimes in life), there's usually no-one there to catch them. Revenge has a way of happening all by itself, without you having to lift a finger

WhereYouLeftIt · 11/04/2016 13:36

"I hadn't heard of the publisher before."
Have you looked them up, googled them?

MyLocal · 11/04/2016 13:52

If you seriously want to congratulate her I think you need more counselling, seriously delete her from FB

EweAreHere · 11/04/2016 13:58

Delete her from FB and then sign up for a few more counselling sessions to see if you can figure out why you go to such extreme lengths to avoid confrontation. Sometimes you need to stand up for yourself; a counsellor can help you learn how.

RuthyToothy · 11/04/2016 13:58

Oh, come on. Don't leave a bad review for a book you've never read, just because some random poster on the internet says the author wasn't nice to work with.

Exactly this. Why does social media provoke some sort of 'pack attack' mentality in some people?

A thread was deleted a few days ago after someone's business was bad-mouthed on here, on the basis of an unsubstantiated event which allegedly happened to someone known to the thread-starter.

Have people got nothing better to do than attack people unknown to them on the basis of an anonymous forum allegation?

Arkhamasylum · 11/04/2016 14:10

I wouldn't leave a negative review. It's lowering yourself to her level.

Delete and block her on Facebook, then take a deep breathe and wish her well on the far side of fuck.

StayAnon55 · 11/04/2016 15:46

Yes, googled them and they appear legit!

OP posts:

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BlueMoonRising · 11/04/2016 15:52

If the book is on Kindle, you can download the first few pages free of charge.

I don't think I could resist that in your shoes.

I don't know if you still can, but you used to be able to buy the book and return it in a week for your money back. Not that I would recommend that as a way to read it free of charge.

HellonHeels · 11/04/2016 16:02

Please come back and tell us you've deleted and blocked her from all social media!

If she's got your phone number or email try to block her on those as well.

She's treated you horribly, she is not a nice person, you owe her NOTHING!

pluck · 11/04/2016 17:10

If you de-friend now, even if she notices, she will be helpless to attack you, because she will not want to look like a bitch just when she hopes everyone is looking at her!

So defriend away, which will satisfy your feelings without exposing you to attack/ confrontation.

If she DOES attack, she will look unhinged.

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