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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel so upset my DC are growing up

19 replies

Purplesky2 · 10/04/2016 21:05

The end of the Easter holiday is upon us. Ds1 is 8, Ds 2 is soon to be 7 and dd is 4.5. I feel like I have just come out of that stressful 3 young kids age and am looking forward to getting some me time back when dd starts school in September, to get fit etc. I have a fulfilling career that I work in part time and get plenty of time at home with my DC BUT all I have ever wanted was a family and I have a lovely one at that. I had my school young, first at 26 and now I feel it is passing by in a flash and I can't slow it down. I know I am very lucky and am BU but I can't help feeling a bit panicky at the passing of time. Anyone else feel this way. I kiss my baby days already.

OP posts:

Original poster

Purplesky2 · 10/04/2016 21:06

I had my dc young - not school!!

OP posts:

Original poster

Purplesky2 · 10/04/2016 21:07

I miss not kiss - arghh

OP posts:

CinnasStarTribute · 10/04/2016 21:08

Do not berate growing old; it is privilege denied to many.

Lalaloopsyscaresme · 10/04/2016 21:13

I have a 4 and 2 year old and I'm looking forward to the position you are in.
The grass is always greener, just try to look at every stage as a new challenge ☺

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 10/04/2016 21:15

You are in the very best stage IMO. If I could have frozen time for a few years I would have at those ages.

Nothing you can do though op, just enjoy it as much as you can.

BrandNewAndImproved · 10/04/2016 21:18

I agree. Mine are 8 and 10 and it's the perfect age. I really love our life atm. They're quirky, funny, still want to do things with me and are independent. If we go swimming we all have our own cubicles, in a cafe they go to the toilet by themselves.

It's lush and I don't want them to grow up anymore.

StillMedusa · 10/04/2016 23:08

Each stage has it's 'aw I miss that SO much' moments when they have passed...
but each stage also brings new fabulousness!

Mine are technically grown ups now.. aged 18, 22, 23 and 24, and I could not love them, or enjoy them more. Watching the older three (youngest has Autism and will stay with me) become real adults.. achieve amazing things... one is travelling Australia, one is a nurse, one is a doctor... become independent, find love... it just blows me away.

And at the end of it all they are STILL mine, they still love and need me. They may not be here in my house every day but they text me every day, and the slightly drunken phone call from DS1 in Australia yesterday while I was shopping in CarpetRight.. just because he wanted to hear my voice... is just as special as the days when he crawled into my bed for a cuddle.

And there is nothing quite like being picked up by your children for a hug

As long as you develop a loving relationship with them as they grow into themselves, it just gets better and better :)

MattDillonsPants · 10/04/2016 23:11

Every stage is magical OP and yours are very young still! Mine are 11 and 8. When you try to grasp passing time you miss out on the present.

Hirosleaftunnel · 11/04/2016 08:11

If you are 34 then why not have another baby, if possible.

Cornishclio · 11/04/2016 08:21

Every stage is magical I think. I loved the 3-10 age best when they still wanted to do things with us and were gradually exploring more and more of the world but as they gradually grew more and more independent, going to university, work, travelling and getting married I love seeing what lovely young ladies they have turned into. Independent but very caring people. Now I get to enjoy seeing my little 6 month GD grow up so at the moment the baby stage is the one I like best not only to relive the early years but also see what a great mum my daughter is. Children are a blessing whatever age they are at. Enjoy them as the years go all too fast.

MrsJayy · 11/04/2016 08:24

Awww @ drunk son thats very sweet. I agree every stage is a new stage you cant just think my babies are growing away from me they are not they will always need you I have a great relationship with my adult children

YouMakeMyDreams · 11/04/2016 08:30

My oldest is almost 13 and agree every stage has had an I'll miss that moment. I felt a little sad yesterday when we went off for a day out and Dd hadn't wanted to come she had opted to go to Grannie's house instead. Me and her brothers had a great day out and it was fun in ways it would take have been with her there but I still missed her. Which actually was nice she can be a bit emotional at times right now and it was nice to have a warm fuzzy feeling about her.
I enjoy watching them grow and change but there is also a tinge of sadness that the baby days are behind me for food but I'm loving watching the people they are turning into.

meffhead · 11/04/2016 08:50

My DC are 8,6&5 and I'm at that stage !!!!! DC 6 has lots of disabilities and is still in nappies and uses a wheelchair so I feel like I hVe a giant baby!

Mislou · 11/04/2016 09:26

What a lovely comment StillMedusa, thanks for sharing that.I hope that reassures the OP.It has made me feel better about my one and only turning five.

TheFairyCaravan · 11/04/2016 09:38

Mine are 19&21. One is a student nurse the other is a soldier. Over the past 3 weeks they've both been at home at various points so it's very quiet here this morning,

I agree with Medusa seeing them both doing what they've always wanted to do, being completely independent and confident fills me with so much pride. DS1 is off to Canada next week for 3 months, I'm dreading it, because I'll miss him, but he's so enthusiastic about it and can't wait to go.

Last week DS2 was back at uni and was struck down with Norovirus, he text me "I could really do with a cuddle!" Bless him, he still wants his mum.

Floisme · 11/04/2016 10:03

My son is nearly 18 and, all being well, he'll be off to uni soon. I do feel emotional about it and I''ll miss him like hell but at the same time, I'm really excited and thrilled for him. It's a strange, happy-sad feeling.

OrraBoralis · 11/04/2016 10:31

Mine are 22 and 23. I have really enjoyed most of the stages, I think 16 - 17 was the worst for me because I knew they would be going back to my home town/country and I had to stay here.

I really wanted to be with them on the first steps to real adulthood but they were staying in our house with family from both sides around and I knew they would be fine. They have developed into fantastic young people who love to spend time with me. I am kinda done with Asia after more than 20 years so I spend around 6 months a year back in Scotland. They love when I come home, they cook, I clean and we get on so well.

I love that they contact us for advice even the most mundane things. DS will say "Parents! I need advice" and we think oh no! Turns out he is asking should he spend a bit more on better tyres for his car

Enjoy your kids, don't always have too much things planned for activities. My most favourite memories are when they were playing together at home not at soft play. I loved getting my hair and make up done by both of them, they would do half a face each

Original poster

Purplesky2 · 11/04/2016 14:28

I don't want to replace the older ones with a new baby!

OP posts:

BackforGood · 11/04/2016 14:36

Yes, YABU.
Each stage gets better and better.
I am SO full of pride at the moment, as my 19 yr old ds has just received an award for something , my dd1 is about to take her driving test, my dd2 had a fab parents evening at school recently. Yes, all 'ordinary' things, but so wonderful - as a parent - to see your dc pass each different milestone as they reach it, and develop into lovely, warm, funny, capable independent people in their own right.
Don't spend your life looking back, but enjoy each stage as it comes.

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