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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel this woman is using me as a taxi service?

35 replies

Jinglebells99 · 09/04/2016 13:43

My dd's friend's mother asked me to be her emergency contact at school while she goes on holiday with her new husband. Her dd is being looked after by a relative but the relative doesn't drive. My dd goes by public transport to school. I can drive and would obviously go and pick up my dd if she was ill. And I wouldn't mind bringing this other child back if I was there anyway, but expecting me to drive over to get her child specifically, is a bit much? They have lots of relatives and friends locally. They are currently having a big celebration, that my family wasn't invited too, so I know we aren't close by any means. Aibu to think she should ask one of her actual friends or relatives? Btw she often picks her own dd up from school but has only once offered my dd a lift home?!

OP posts:
Smellyrose · 09/04/2016 13:44

YANBU. Top cheeky - just say no.

BillSykesDog · 09/04/2016 13:52

Is she expecting you to do the actual everyday pick ups and drop offs or just in case she is ill?

If she is asking just if she is ill, I'd do it. It's unlikely to happen. As it's her new husband and they are having a 'big celebration' I assume this is her wedding and she can't ask people who've already taken time off for her wedding to do it.

It's unlikely you'll actually have to do anything. I'd do it.

GoEasyPudding · 09/04/2016 13:53

"That's a no can do I'm afraid, my cars going in for a service on Tuesday, it's got a problem with the thingy and I'm not sure how long that will take and oh my goodness that weeks is just so hectic for me. Hoping you can find some one more reliable!" Followed by insane laugh/ or smiley face on the text. Sorted!

Never do favors for folk that clearly don't value you.

ImperialBlether · 09/04/2016 13:53

No. She's a user. I'd say no and limit contact. Some people are just so bloody cheeky!

TopHat33 · 09/04/2016 13:59

Just for an emergency? There's hopefully slim chance of this happening while they're away so YABU to think you're being used as a taxi service.

But it's up to you whether you want to do them a favour.

bloodyteenagers · 09/04/2016 14:00

I'm confused.
Is it just emergency contact.
Or also daily school runs?

gamerchick · 09/04/2016 14:03

Just for an,emergancy contact in case of illness?

Original poster
Jinglebells99 · 09/04/2016 14:13

She asked me to be her named emergency contact with the school and has also given my numbers to her relative. This is where I think she wants to use me as a taxi. If her dd gets ill at school, she wants me to get her. It's a round trip of about 45 / 50 mins. And it's not like I would be going there anyway. My child goes there and back on public transport.

OP posts:
sonjadog · 09/04/2016 14:14

Does she mean that you would drive her daughter to and from every day or just go pick her up if there was an emergency? If it is just if there was an emergency, then no, I don't think she is being unreasonable to ask. But if you don't want to, just say no.

gpignname · 09/04/2016 14:14

I would agree to this if it was just being the emergency contact and the child was not prone to sudden emergency illnesses. This child is your DD's friend isn't she? Are they good friends? I know you said she has people she could ask but maybe they are involved in the big event or are a bit far away or she thinks you would be a more suitable choice because you know the school and the child?

I think I would probably do this one but of course if you really don't want to, just say no - if she says she has no one else then presumably the non-driving relative can always pay for a taxi in an emergency. If you do agree to it, make sure you have the relative's phone number and address as the school probably wouldn't be able to give it to you.

SeaCabbage · 09/04/2016 14:14

Say no you can't do it.

TattyDevine · 09/04/2016 14:16

I'd say yes as a one off while she's away for her wedding, on the basis that it wouldn't probably even happen, and if it did, I'd happily help a sick child. However, the rest of the time I'd say no, there must be someone else who can be named.

sonjadog · 09/04/2016 14:17

X post.

I don't think asking if is okay for you to pick up her child if she should be sick while she is away is treating you like a taxi, no. I assume you are someone her child knows and whom she trusts to be kind and caring for a sick child. That is why she is asking you. Just tell her it doesn't suit as you are busy and can't say for sure that you will be able to do it.

Arfarfanarf · 09/04/2016 14:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PollyPurple · 09/04/2016 14:19

There usually has to be two other emergency contacts doesn't there and surely the father is named on there too? I'd leave it, if you do ever get a call I'd just say it's not possible, surely the mother would be contacted first anyway?

whois · 09/04/2016 14:19

Since she doesn't consider you a close enough friend to be invited to a party, don't feel bad about saying you don't feel close enough to be the emergency contact!

PollyPurple · 09/04/2016 14:20

MIL is named as an emergency contact but school have never had to call her as they always call me first.

fusionconfusion · 09/04/2016 14:24
Confused

So if the dd unexpectedly gets ill during a very short defined period while this person is out of the country, the school would contact you to collect her?

Fair enough if you don't want to - you don't need a reason to say no - but this really doesn't sound anything like a "taxi service" and it's highly unlikely you'd ever be called on.

It sounds like the main issue is you're not that close so you don't know why she's asked you? Which I would wonder about too but, you know, just say no. No need to whip yourself up into a frenzy of resentment about it, it just doesn't suit you and you don't want to do it.

TheNaze73 · 09/04/2016 14:25

She's taking the piss!!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 09/04/2016 14:27

I'd tell her no , I'm not being a walkover for anyone.

I know it's not the child's fault but I'd not do it.

Branleuse · 09/04/2016 14:31

say that you dont really want to be around ill children in case you all get it yourselves, and remind her that its quite a trip there and back and you dont want to be relied on as an official contact and youd rather they put someone else, but if it was an absolute emergency and none of the rest of her family could do it, then obviously youd try, but you cant guarantee it, so please dont give the name and number to the school

ClaireLumia · 09/04/2016 14:40

Does she want you to pick up her DD and then drop off at the relative's house or is she expecting you to look after her while she's ill and the relative to collect her from your house after school?

pictish · 09/04/2016 14:48

I'm puzzled as to why she has asked you when there must be other people closer to her that would be a more appropriate choice. Never mind taking the piss, it's a bit strange without a reason to back her choice up.

Nairsmellsbad · 09/04/2016 14:54

I would certainly agree to that for a friend - it's an unlikely scenario that you actually need to drive her child at all from what you've said. You sound as though you just don't like her much, in which case it's perfectly fair enough for you not to agree to it.

Mandatorymongoose · 09/04/2016 15:04

If you don't want to do it just say no.

It doesn't sound like a massive ask though. In the unlikely event her child is ill this week you'd go and get them?

Maybe she doesn't know many people who would be available during the day (you've not mentioned work so I assume it's not an issue for you), who can drive and who her DD knows reasonably well? Her other friends / family might not fit all those criteria?

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