AIBU to be annoyed at MIL for saying bf up to 1 year + is "weird"?

[crunchymummy]

2nd post about breastfeeding

Comments have been made involving, he'll have teeth by then and he'll be able to ask for it... she bottle-fed her DCs but AIBU to be annoyed and how to deal with these comments in a polite way?

I used to talk about the WHO breastfeeding guidelines (breastfeeding recommended up until 2, and then as long after as mother and child want to).

But really, you have to practice the art of not giving a fuck what other people think about your breastfeeding past whatever they consider to be a "normal" age.

There's a lot more extended breastfeeding around than many people realise. DS2 (2.5 yrs) is still breastfeeding. Most people outside my & DH's immediate families are unaware of this, because now he mostly just breastfeeds at bedtime.

What is weird is having gone through the difficult early days of BF, getting it beautifully established, then believing that for some reason you have to swap over to bottles instead at 6 months. How did that ever become "normal"? Why would you wean a baby onto a bottle? Makes no sense to me, yet I've heard people say it with authority.

^ exactly!

We struggled so much at first and thankfully hot the hang of it eventually... now we are going great guns... Just hit six months and no plans to stop.

Way too much judgement on all this. Breast, bottle, mixed, for as long or short a time as you deem fit. As long as the baby is fed, it's up to you.

Oh and a polite way of dealing with it could be 'oh advice now is X. you know how it is, advice changes as we get to know more. What was the advice when you had yours? Ah yes, now it's .. ' then segue into a nice conversation about 'back in the day'

She can think it weird all she likes but she's wrong - but it is none of her business.

Quite apart from the World Health Organisation recommending it up until 2, why woulf you both with the faff of formula if you're happy with continuing to breast feed

I breastfed ds until he was nearly 14 months old so could then put him straight into cows' milk. We went to South Africa when he was 13 months old so it was very convenient while travelling. I stopped when we got back as was working full time and it meant I could stop expressing. With hindsight, I wish I'd continued for longer.

Don't be annoyed - it's a cultural thing. My stepmother is the same. I chose to feel a bit sorry for her that she's so swayed by her peers that she didn't get a chance to make decisions that were right for her through gritted fucking teeth the condescending rude cow

BF both my DC 'til 2+. Ignore her and practice your face...

I ended up telling my MIL that I didn't want to hear another fucking word from her about how I fed my baby. That seemed to work. Being polite certainly didn't.

I agree, don't go with the smile and nod approach here, its your baby and she knows fuck all about what you are doing.

My mil breastfed for ten minutes and all of a sudden she's an expert.

Tell her to stop sticking her nose in and go read the latest research about out instead of commenting on something she doesn't understand.

Personally, I find it weird that some people disapprove of a mother providing her baby with perfectly good nutrition and comfort, in the way that nature designed.

I think I'd be inclined to say something along the lines of "you may find it weird but I think it's natural and the best thing for my baby, so that's what I'm going to do and I'd ask that you respect my choices as a parent".

Don't worry Mil they're my breasts, so I'll deal with it

Ignore her, or smile and nod as suggested upthread. I still bf my almost 2year old.... Very thick skin here too!

None of her business, I am not opposed to bottle feeding but I do think that people who think breastfeeding is weird are indeed weird.

It's not worth getting annoyed about. I bf-ed two children waaaaaaay past the age many people view as 'appropriate' and I didn't waste an atom of energy on other people's opinions.

A handy strategy is to smile dismissively while singing 'you're a twat, you're a twat, you're a twat twat twat' at the irritating bigot in your head

You'll quickly shut her up by just referencing "the World Health Organisation recommend breastfeeding until 2 years of age and beyond". Also, tell her it's none of her business.

BeAlert - excellent response!

Women sometimes appear to think breastfeeding beyond when they personally stopped breastfeeding, is a bit icky.

You'll quickly shut her up by just referencing "the World Health Organisation recommend breastfeeding until 2 years of age and beyond"

Not necessarily - I've genuinely heard several people dismiss that with 'oh, that's only for people in the third world'!

As pp mentioned, my standard response was always "Oh no, WHO have long recommended bf until at least 2yrs. [insert sweet smile]". I found this was most effective when said with a badly disguised oh bless, aren't you terribly ill-informed and so very old fashioned tone.

It's really quite shocking isn't it - how thick people can be? What is wrong with these people, that think of breastfeeding as "inferior", "weird", unnecessary etc.

I can't imagine not having BF mine. Made illness, holidays, sleep all a million times easier. Plus all the other benefits.

Didn't do great things for my boobs though

I'm currently bfing my 13 week old son and will continue to until he's on to cows milk, for cost reasons.

I personally don't think I'll continue beyond one as I find the idea icky, I find past 6months a weird (for myself, not anyone else, each to their own) but we can't really afford formula and bfing is going very well. I might get to one year and change my mind, I'm fully prepared for that.

Regardless of her personal feelings you MIL is very unreasonable to say anything negative toward you. Your baby, your choice.

My MIL is big advocate of bfing (especially in public!). My mother on the other hand will tout out 'breast is best' then ask when I'm stopping, she didn't bf any of her 5 children, and both my grans are similar (why would you want to, I couldn't be doing with that etc etc) my grandfather on the other hand is a mega advocate- it's cheap, it's convenient, no bottles at night, what's not to love (he says).

Regardless of what my family's views are, my views are the most important and I just smile and nod, and put DS on the Boob.