to ask for help re toddler meals

[wheresthel1ght]

As a baby dd would eat pretty much anything we have her with the exception of peas.

Since she turned 2 however the absolute only things she will eat are sausages of any variety and chicken. She flatly refuse to entertain anything else either saying she doesn't like it or she is full.

I know this is normal and although my hv said yesterday not to worry because she eats the fruits she isn't allergic to bloody eczema triggered by sodding citrus by the bucket load. However she was a bit concerned about dd having low iron levels as she will not entertain red meat. We don't eat a massive amount at home anyway but she would eat it as a baby ether in mush form or as chunks.

How the hell do I expand her food works without it becoming a battle? I don't want to turn dinner times into a fight, I remember my parents refusing to let us leave the table til we had cleared out plates and being physically sick over foods like lasagne and cheesy bake stuff (later diagnosed with dairy allergy and lactose intolerance) and I am adamant I won't do the same to dd. But I am so frustrated.

Any advice gratefully received!

I bought a ceramic egg tray that holds 6 eggs and for my DDs lunches I'd fill each hole with something different, but tried to keep it colourful. She loved it. Her evening meal would be her main meal.

Like this - DISHWASHER SAFE WHITE CERAMIC 6 EGG HOLDER TRAY https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B004V41R6C/ref=cmswwrcppawd_VQFbxbFM3J5YN

I had a list of different things that I'd try very hard to keep varied and rotate so she was exposed to lots of things. E.g: fish finger sliced up, carrot sticks, steamed broccoli, peas, Sweetcorn, toast strips, cold pizza strips, boiled egg, cheese, dried fruit, fresh fruit, falafel, baked beans, mini bread sticks, rice cake sliced into fingers, butter beans, etc

We eat fish, but not any other kind of meat. I do give the children a vitamin supplement that contains iron but mainly for vit d on HV advice.

Dried apricots are rich in iron. I buy the soft organic ones from Sainsburys, or the snacker jacks brand (I think that's what they're called). They are not 'leathery' at all.

My best tip is just before meals, give her a 'snack' in a small bowl while she waits for the meal. For my DD this would be veg - steamed broccoli, or carrots usually. For some reason she'd eat this up but not when it was in her plate alongside everything else. Probably because was distracted by playing and eating or watching TV and eating. I think it helped familiarise her with new things out if the whole 'meal' context. And then when she sat down for her meal she faced a smaller plate of food because she'd already eaten some.

I need to resurrect all of this for DS!--

Nobody needs red meat, or meat at all in fact.
For iron, peas are great if she'll eat them. Also fortified breakfast cereals. Growing up milk also good for getting iron and vitamins into them.

Just keep giving her what she likes plus one new thing on her plate. She will eventually try it when she feels like it haha. My DTs were really good eaters until around 18 months and then ate toast and cheerios and fruit for about a year. They are much better now at nearly four and will try new foods if asked. One of them even voluntarily eats broccoli and sprouts now. They do tend to eat much better if we eat as a family so we do try and do that as often as possible and always have big family dinners at weekends where i try and cook something they haven't tried before either the main part or a new veggie (or one they don't like so they can try it again). As long as she is eating something then don't panic, i agree it's really hard not to worry though.

Google 'iron rich foods'. There's lots!

Stop snacking a couple of hours before a meal.

Why is she getting upset at the table? Just need to serve the food and not discuss it or nag her

I think your HV's approach is a bit odd. If she is worried about iron then a simple blood tetpst would tell you what is happening and your DD can be prescribed iron supplements. However what you say she eats sounds good, all kinds of meat are a decent source of iron as are lentils and beans. For better absorbsion try giving her orange juice at meal times and avoiding dairy one hour before and after meals - all this is assuming she has a problem which it doesn't sound like it in the first place. Does she drink a lot of milk or breast feed a lot?

Cakey she can't eat apricots unfortunately even dries the citrus in them triggers her allergies!

boo she refused boob from day 1 but still drinks about 8 pints of milk a week.

Having done some googling (something I usually avoid tbh) I am feeling loads better. Think the hv was just being a bit ott.

Spandex not sure why you feel the need to be on the attack all the time.

If she refused to BF from day one there was more than likely a problem. Have you checked for tongue tie as this is can be a huge problem with solid foods (and breastfeeding, obviously).

Runner she is fine, no tongue tie just didn't want to breast feed. Which suited me fine as I didn't want to do it either. I tried so she could have colostrum but she wasn't interested.

I would try cutting down on the milk, it might stimulate her appetite and there is less of a risk of dairy disrupting iron absorbsion.

Tried it boo! She dropped below 25th c in space of 3 weeks! She has 900ml when she wakes up and the same before bed. Sometimes if she is unsettled and waking at night due to itching she roll have half a bottle to help her resettle but in the rest of the day she has water or weak squash

That sounds ok to me as the milk is not near the main meals but if you are worried ask you GP for a blood test. It can be a bit distressing for the little ones to get the blood sample but then you will know for sure either way.

Interesting that you think I'm attacking. You seem to take my ideas to resolve things as a personal affront.

In regards to her weight dropping below the 25th percentile. Maybe below the 25th is a more natural weight for her.

Don't worry, it's taken me 6 months to find a sandwich filling DD will eat (and even then it has to be in a sandwich thin - apparently normal bread is the devil's work) and randomly it's chicken liver pate!!! Who knew? Will she drink juice? A lot of berries have a high iron count and you could maybe hide some spinach in a freshly made juice with apple and lime . . . my 3 year old loves this (I didn't make it for her to begin with but she stole mine!). Have you tried encouraging her to help you cook? It might inspire her to try new foods . . . I know I've managed to get DD to eat a whole load of new things because she's 'helped mummy'

Great - the spinach in juice is a good idea might try that one. But berries are a no go u fortunately. Blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, strawberries. Etc all set her allergic eczema off. I have to be exceptionally careful over using calpol etc because of the flavourings. It really is a mine field.

She does help me cook when she is in the mood! She loves copying me with her play kitchen but she gets bored with the actual act of cooking unless it involves chocolate and then she is right up there with me

I'm going through similar with DD, a combination of allergies and the usual toddler pickiness, after an initial great start to eating, left her refusing all but a few foods. DD is extremely determined about textures of food too, but only within certain food groups. We've been seen by a specialist feeding clinic team at Addenbrookes and I was stunned when they said I was doing all the right things. I went to the appointment at my wits end but they assured me that the less I worry about it, the more likely it will be that DD will gradually try new foods.

They recommended a book by Katja Rowell called 'Helping your child with Extreme Picky Eating' and it is brilliant. No more 'just kiss or lick the food' approaches, no reward charts for trying foods, no pressure of any kind at all, even removing overly positive praise. The basic idea is that the parent decides what food is presented and when, and the child decides if they want to eat and how much.

It has reduced my frustration and concerns so much, and DD seems less rigid. We put all components of a meal into separate bowls on the table and each person helps themselves to what they want. By not presenting them with a plated-meal, it's taking all the pressure off them that they MUST eat.

Feel free to PM me if you want to.

doesn't dairy typically affect eczema?

Also, maybe the juice is taking the egde off her real hunger feelings.

Oh and there is always one of the child's 'safe' foods available at a meal.

Pragmatic thank you I will definitely pm you when I get 5 to log on to the pc as the app doesn't allow me to pm.

I have been doing the making sure one safe food is always part of the meal and most Sunday's we do have the table set as "help yourself" but she will only pic the safe foods.

I will look up that book and have a read thanks.

She is gaining weight and seems healthy so I can't be doing too much wrong, it's just so frustrating that she went from eating tons to nothing overnight.

Runner - yup dairy can be a trigger and luckily as long as she doesn't have a stomach bug she doesn't react to it. I dread to think what would happen to her weight if she couldn't have milk/yoghurt!!